Isis in crisis: is Downton Abbey's dog (and best character) about to die?
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Version 0 of 1. She is the queen of the opening shot, the unofficial ruler of the roost and the most loved and consistent character through five long and interminably rambling series of Downton Abbey. Forget man’s best friend. She is the audience’s best friend, the only sane patient in the asylum. She has never made a pass at anyone upstairs or downstairs. Nor has she revealed criminal misdemeanours in a previous household. Nor has she shagged a Turkish ambassador to death. She is Isis. And it’s pretty obvious that as the series finale this Sunday beckons, she may well be about to die. The Earl of Grantham revealed in last night’s episode that his beloved labrador has cancer. Isis’ best moments? Too many to count. But let’s try. Series one, episode one: the Backside Opening Shot The memorable three-second shot of the Abbey’s Labrador’s backside (and a glimpse of wagging tongue as she gazes up adoringly at her master) first appeared on our screens on 26 September 2010. But, don’t be fooled, this was not Isis. This was Pharoah, the first Downton dog. Real name? Roly. Not to be confused with the legendary EastEnders dog of the same name. But Pharoah/Roly caused problems with the real-life owners of Highclere Castle, where Downton is filmed. Hounded (sorry) off the set by the intolerance of fellow golden Labrador Percy, Pharoah/Roly was killed off between series one and two. Quite the comedown, especially with his thespian pedigree. (He had come to Downton from the set of Midsomer Murders, no less.) But when there’s a tragic exit, sometimes a star is born. Enter the goddess Isis, real name Ellie, and, from series three onwards, the appropriately-named Abbey. As for Lady Carnarvon’s Percy, he died shortly after Roly’s forced retirement. I make no comment. But we’ve all heard of the Curse of the Pharoah. Series five, episode one: Isis Hits the Front Pages Between series four and five, some international events occurred which resulted in the fact that you can now Google the words “Isis Downton Terrorist” and get 3.4million results. A slew of conspiracy theories emerged about “growing discomfort about the dog’s name being similar to that of the terrorist group Isis”. (I make no comment. But this is utter lunacy.) Uncle Julian (Fellowes, the writer behind the series) responded that the dogs’ names used so far come from Downton’s connection to Egyptology. The real-life fifth Earl of Carnarvon financed the expedition that led to the excavation of the tomb of Tutankhamun in the 1920s. A likely story indeed. Any sensible person continues to believe that Isis is the Trojan Labrador of Our Times who holds the hidden key to international peace. Series two, episode three: Ping Pong Table Stress Face After enjoying a leftover crepe suzette fed to her illegally by Mrs Patmore in the first episode of series two, Isis (Ellie) gets her first major plotline as she navigates the troubling arrival of a ping pong table in the Library, a sporting treat for the convalescing soldiers. (Remember? This was the one where Sybil and Edith were dressed up as Red Cross nurses.) Oscar-worthy ping pong anxiety. Around this time Isis was granted her own Facebook page, which to this day she is insultingly forced to share with Pharoah. The page has 3638 Likes and counting, 74 of whom have Liked a story from the Hollywood Reporter with the headline: “Downton Dog’s Days May Be Numbered.” Traitors. Series two, Christmas special 2011: Thomas Kidnaps Isis In a bid to ingratiate himself with the Earl of Grantham, scheming footman Thomas stages Isis’s disappearance by locking her in the woodshed. Just when all hope is lost, he is the hero of the day - and in prime position for head valet - when she is “miraculously” returned. Isis maintained her usual composure throughout and even looked faintly bored by the whole thing. Classic Isis. Series four, episode one: the Vanishing Backside For the first and only time in Downton’s history, the labrador’s backside did not appear in the show’s opening credits. It reappeared mysteriously the following week. Meanwhile Hugh Bonneville (Earl of Grantham) claimed that in real life Isis is “a moody bitch” on set: “She rarely comes out of her trailer and demands snacks at all times.” We would expect no less. Elizabeth Taylor who? Series five, episode six: Isis in Crisis The first sign of Isis’ (surely?) imminent demise came as Lady Mary accused her of having eaten a dead squirrel. As if. We know she only eats custom-baked patisserie. This came hot on the heels of a plotline in which art historian Simon Bricker (Richard E Grant) made advances towards Cora (Elizabeth McGovern) in full view of Isis, much to the irritation of the Earl of Grantham (Hugh Bonneville). Never has the listlessness of a voyeuristic dog caused so much sadness to so many. I have been predicting Isis’ funeral as a series finale for two weeks now. But I’m starting to think it’s going to go the other way. Maybe it will turn out that Isis survives, in a big Christmas episode reveal. She came to the Abbey in 1916. It’s now 1925. The average life expectancy of a labrador is 12 years. Isis has got to have a few more years in her. After all, there are more signs of life in her tail-swishing backside than there are in many elements of plot and character development in the entire show. In a contest between Downton Abbey the iconic series and Isis the iconic canine, there is only one phenomenon that ought to be put out of its misery. And it’s not the dog. Come on, Uncle Julian. Let Isis live. |