How can Isis afford its own currency?

http://www.theguardian.com/world/shortcuts/2014/nov/16/how-can-isis-afford-its-own-currency

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Age: Not-quite-newly-minted.

Appearance: Golden. Silvery. Coppery.

You make it sound as if Isis is about to set up its own currency. That’s because it is. I’m very clever like that. I meld my thoughts to words and words to thought, et voilà!

Can it do that as a self-declared state that no one recognises? It can. It’s going to. It has said so in a statement. The largest value coin, the five dinar, will contain 21.25g of gold (worth around £490 at time of going to press) and the lowest will be a 10g copper coin worth about five pence.

How will that work? No one’s quite sure. Its introduction will apparently be overseen by a leadership council in the “house of finance” and be approved by the Isis leader.

And after that? What will the exchange rate be? Will it have a central bank? How will it hedge against market fluctuations? What will it put on the coins if it doesn’t have a queen? All this – with the possible exception of the coin thing – will be answered, it says, in a second statement later on.

How will it source the precious metals it needs? Doubtless by sinking mines constructed with every safety measure in place and staffed by volunteers protected by every form of workplace health and safety legislation.

Really. No, of course not really. It will either steal it or extract it from other spoils of war.

Why does it want its own currency anyway? To free its followers from “the tyrannical financial system” and “satanic usury” imposed on Muslims by the rest of the world.

How much money are we talking about anyway? It’s just guns, goats and sand out there, isn’t it? And two of those are free. Or almost free. I don’t know much about goats. You don’t know much about anything. Isis is thought to be the best-funded terrorist group ever. Thanks to oil smuggling, donations from Qatari, Kuwaiti and other sympathisers, tax/extortion in all the regions it controls, ransom payments and the sale of looted goods, it’s estimated to rake in about $1m a day.

We really are in trouble then. Oh yes.

Do say: “What a successful, if not wholly legitimate, enterprise you have here. I’ll just be on my way.”

Don’t say: “You know, if you fill in this gift aid form you’ll be able to claim some tax back from your government.”