Mark Latham read my mind. Of course I hate my daughter – I'm a feminist
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Version 0 of 1. Former politician Mark Latham has come out swinging against the greatest threat known to man that is attacking the world’s greatest joy: leftwing feminists, whose political campaigns involve the demonisation of children. Is it true that all left feminists demonise children? Look, I’ll admit it. As a left feminist and a single mother, I constantly remind my happy and confident daughter how much I hate her. In fact, I did that just this morning as we held hands and walked to school. “Have a terrible day, you destroyer of joy”, I told her. “Mummy’s now off to write more leftist propaganda and drug herself into a stupor so she can tolerate your banal witherings of becoming a scientist or prime minister when you grow up.” It’s almost like Latham can see exactly what’s happening in my life. That or it’s just another attempt to try and provoke feminists, who still are still chuckling over his previous attempts to goad them. Latham’s screed is laughable because anyone with half a brain – or even a regular newspaper column that affords them the time to make “gourmet meals” and tend to a garden – should be able to realise the use of anti-depressants isn’t a sign of hating children. It’s a committed attempt to reduce mental illness and improve family life for everyone, kids as well as those selfish parents. At least, that’s what I tell myself as I light another cigarette off the bonfire I made from burning all my daughter’s sexist toys. Anyway, the whole imbroglio stems from one article by journalist Lisa Pryor. Her column, about “showing vulnerability, diagnosable or simply human, and how it makes others feel safe to do the same” was proof enough for Latham: feminists “don’t like children and don’t want to be with them“ and that “feminism is akin to a psychoneurotic disorder”. The need to continually remind people they exist is common among white men (especially relevance-deprived former politicians) who seem inordinately worried that they will literally stop living if they stop talking about themselves. Not only must these brave men battle feminists hell bent on a matriarchial dystopia, but they need to remind other men that they are the real victims in this gender war – a brutal struggle where 49% of the world’s population must have 100% of all the attention. Thankfully, these meninists fighting against the howling misandrist dawn take their battle for attention to the media. It’s a bold move, a plan just crazy enough to work, when you consider that 70% of all news columns are written by men. It’s a good thing, because it’s about time men had a platform to tell feminists how to be more feminist. When I’m not busy scarring my daughter for life by blaming her for the pay gap and rape culture, I enjoy nothing more than reading male feminist critiques. Because these brave critics understand the big issues feminism refuses to address, like false rape accusations (currently at 2%), domestic violence against men (which doesn’t kill a man a week, unlike women), sexual assault and street based violence against men (predominantly committed by men) and the global conspiracy of women magically impregnating themselves to drain men financially. Latham understands this, because he, like many of his colleagues, has the privilege of getting stuck into feminists instead of asking why it is that only 2% of men are primary carers in the home. It’s not his job to get more men in the home, it’s a failure of feminism. Because if feminists were really serious they’d fix men’s problems first. |