Football clockwatch: Premier League updates and latest news – as it happened!

http://www.theguardian.com/football/live/2014/nov/22/football-clockwatch-premier-league-updates-and-latest-news-live

Version 0 of 1.

4.59pm GMT16:59

OK, OK, that’s all from me folks. You can get all the final scores you need here and you can get all the tables you need here. Thanks for all the tweets, emails and comments. Have a nice weekend! Bye!

4.55pm GMT16:55

Everton have won at home in the league for only the second time this season. And Burnley have back-to-back victories. That is an absolutely brilliant win for them. They are off the bottom of the table and Ings will never have to pay for a pint in Burnley ever again. Oh and City have defeated Swansea.

Updated at 4.57pm GMT

4.54pm GMT16:54

Newcastle have won again. Pardew for England! Pardew for pope!

Updated at 4.58pm GMT

4.52pm GMT16:52

Some full-times: Leicester City 0-0 Sunderland, Chelsea 2-0 WBA.

4.51pm GMT16:51

Over in Newcastle, Cisse looked to have made the three points safe for Newcastle after he slipped the ball under Green. But his shot was weak and Barton got back in time to clear the ball off the line.

4.49pm GMT16:49

There are 12 minutes of added time in the Bournemouth Ipswich game. 12!

4.46pm GMT16:46

I just told you that Norwich were losing. I lied. They are now drawing. 3-3 it is.

4.46pm GMT16:46

Forest are now three up against Wolves. Blackburn are 1-1 with Leeds, Blackpool and Bolton are on the same scoreline. Ipswich have drawn one back so it’s 2-2 against Bournemouth. Brighton have taken the lead in a thriller at Carrow Road and Birmingham are a goal to the good against Rotherham. Still 1-1 in the Wigan game.

4.43pm GMT16:43

Ireland have just scored a sensational try against Australia. In case you are interested in that sort of thing, Dan Lucas has the latest.

4.40pm GMT16:40

Meanwhile in Italy ...

Some naughty boys in Serie B today... Ten red cards pic.twitter.com/HUMzaNAGwn

4.38pm GMT16:38

Simon McMahon has a Scottish update for us all. “United looking good to make it 6 wins out of 7 in the league at home this season as they lead Kilmarnock 2-1. In fact it’s looking like 5 home wins in the SPFL today. #temptingfate”

4.38pm GMT16:38

GOAL! Newcastle 1-0 QPR (Sissoko)

A swift counterattack finds Sammy Ameobi in the middle of the park who in turn finds Sissoko. The stand-in captain then fires his side into the lead.

Updated at 4.50pm GMT

4.35pm GMT16:35

GOAL! Everton 2-1 West Ham United (Osman)

West Ham were in control but it is Everton who have taken the lead. The Hammers were on the attack but Everton broke with speed via Lukaku. He was taken down in the Hammers half but the referee waved play on and play on is what Everton did. Eto’o sped down the right and put the ball across where it reached Osman who might just have slid in the winner for his side.

1000 - West Ham have now conceded exactly 1000 Premier League goals. Millennial.

Updated at 4.45pm GMT

4.28pm GMT16:28

Does anyone else hate that Coral ad? “What’s the catch?” “Haddock!” Urf!

4.27pm GMT16:27

Over in the Championship, Watford have drawn level with Derby, Middlesbrough have done the same with Wigan and Brigton are all square with Norwich. Forest, however, are two ahead against Wolves.

Updated at 4.30pm GMT

4.26pm GMT16:26

The whistles have peeped and the fans are on their way home in Germany, chattering about the day’s events and wondering what they are going to get their respective partners for Xmas. Here’s the day’s final scores:

FT: Bayern-Hoff 4-0, Paderborn-Dortmund 2-2, Gladbach-Frankfurt 1-3, Mainz-Freiburg 2-2, Hanover-Leverkusen 1-3, Schalke-Wolfsburg 3-2.

We all miss him, don’t we?

1 - Nicklas Bendtner scored his 1st league goal since New Year's Day (for Arsenal v Cardiff), for @VfL_Wolfsburg at Schalke (2-3). Relief.

Updated at 4.43pm GMT

4.23pm GMT16:23

GOAL! Manchester City 2-1 Swansea (Yaya Toure)

He’s back and City are back and that’s all thanks to a Fernandinho back heel that set up the Ivorian for his second league goal of the season.

Updated at 4.34pm GMT

4.20pm GMT16:20

Set your faces to shocked! Lee Cattermole has just got a yellow card!

4.19pm GMT16:19

Just before that West Ham goal, there was a big(ish) shout for a Leicester penalty. Mahrez went down in the box when chasing a long ball and the fans howled but the referee said they must be joking. He had a point. Mahrez looked to have hit the turf far too easily.

Updated at 4.19pm GMT

4.17pm GMT16:17

GOAL! Everton 1-1 West Ham United (Zarate)

Zarate has just come off the bench and just dragged his side back into the game. He cut inside from the left, played a nice one-two and his shot took a deflection off Jagielka before it reached the back off the net.

4.14pm GMT16:14

Well that didn’t take long, did it? Bournemouth are back in front thanks to Matt Ritchie. Up north, Celtic are now 2-0 up against Dundee. John Guidetti with the second.

4.12pm GMT16:12

Bournemouth have been brilliant and don’t deserve to be on level terms against Ipswich but it is level terms that they are on. A sazzy side-foot finishes from Bishop does the honours.

4.09pm GMT16:09

Good news if you are fan of Bayern or indeed a fan of Bastian Schweinsteiger. He has come on for Götze and for his first competitive match since the World Cup final. And good news if you are a fan of Burton Albion or indeed Jimmy Floyd Hasselbaink. His side have taken the lead against Luton.

Updated at 4.28pm GMT

4.06pm GMT16:06

The games may have just come back but Chelsea should already have made it 3-0. Matic was the one with the early chance but his volley missed by inches. There has been a chance for Sunderland too. Some great movement from Fletcher ensures he has space to strike but his effort clears the bar and the stand and the car park and bobbles away down the road.

4.03pm GMT16:03

And back come the games.

4.00pm GMT16:00

From our man in the Etihad:

Usual tame tepid stuff from City so far...

3.57pm GMT15:57

“Wouldn’t a ‘Liverpool Loanee’ team, including Wisdom, Origi, Assaidi, and Ibe (but not the wretched Aspas) give Rodgers’ preferred team a run for its money?” muses Lou Roper.

3.51pm GMT15:51

That is (roughly) half-time around (roughly) all the grounds. Click here for all the latest scores. I’ll be back in five minutes after a quick cup-o-tea break.

3.49pm GMT15:49

Dortmund continue to show their amazing ability to make things very difficult for themselves in the Bundesliga. They were 2-0 up but they are now 2-1 up, having allowed Paderborn to pull one back.

3.47pm GMT15:47

On the stroke of half-time ...

44 GOAL!!!! Anthony Stokes heads the Hoops in front!!!

Updated at 3.47pm GMT

3.46pm GMT15:46

There have been some fisticuffs up in Everton. Both teams got their handbags out after McCarthy’s tackle left Amalfitano needing the magic sponge. Amalfitano is back on the pitch and A-OK while the replays show McCarthy did indeed get the ball.

Updated at 4.10pm GMT

3.44pm GMT15:44

The leaders of the Championship, Derby, have scored against Watford. And it is a beauty from Liverpool loanee Jordon Ibe who curled the ball into the far corner of the net.

3.40pm GMT15:40

You wait 993 days and then this happens ...

32' - Ryan Taylor receives treatment on the edge of his own box and he won't be able to continue. The midfielder is applauded off. #NUFC

Taylor left the pitches in tears, poor chap.

3.38pm GMT15:38

The Championship has kinda kicked into life. Leeds have taken the lead against Blackburn and Wigan are 1-0 up against Middlesbrough. Down in League One, Orient have doubled their lead thanks to a right-footed effort from Chris Dagnal. They couldn’t, could they?

3.34pm GMT15:34

GOAL! Stoke 1-2 Burnley (Walters)

The comeback is on and the comeback is on thanks to a goal from Walters. Bojan’s superb cross from the right was met by the head of the striker and that was that. (Tom Heaton should have done better.) It had been coming, in fairness, as Stoke had been dominating the game for the last few minutes.

Updated at 3.35pm GMT

3.30pm GMT15:30

Red card!

Just when things could not get worse for WBA ... Yacob goes and gets himself an early bath for a two-footed challenge.

RED CARD. Yacob is dismissed for a challenge on Costa. He won the ball but his feet were off the ground #CHEWBA

Updated at 3.50pm GMT

3.29pm GMT15:29

GOAL! Everton 1-0 West Ham United (Lukaku)

Big Sam won’t be happy. Lukaku looked offside but the ref said carry on and he slotted home Barkley’s deflected shot.

Updated at 3.44pm GMT

3.27pm GMT15:27

GOAL! Chelsea 2-0 West Bromwich Albion (Hazard)

Hazard doubled his side’s lead after he collected Fabregas’ corner before passing the ball under Foster.

3.26pm GMT15:26

Down in the Championship, there has still only been that one goal in the Ipswich game. How very odd. There is not much to tell you about in League One either. Leyton Orient could be on course for their first win at home in about 400 years as they are 1-0 against Crewe. MK Dons lead Port Vale by the same score and Rochdale are drawing 1-1 with Doncaster. Oldham are a goal to the good at Sheffield United.

3.23pm GMT15:23

Missed this earlier:

40' GOOOAAAALLLLL!!!!! Robert #Lewandowski!!! #FCBayernLive #FCBTSG 2-0

3.20pm GMT15:20

Jesus. Wept.

Wigan fan at today's game v Boro (pic @PressAssocSport) pic.twitter.com/BTuerrJjmd

3.19pm GMT15:19

GOAL! Manchester City 1-1 Swansea (Jovetic)

Well that didn’t take long. Jovetic taps one in at the back post. Easy peasy lemon squeezy.

Updated at 3.36pm GMT

3.18pm GMT15:18

Word from our man in the ground:

WBA lost 6-0 here a few years ago. Wouldn't bet against that happening again ... Chelsea all over them

3.17pm GMT15:17

“Ings for Ingland surely,” corrects Gary White.

3.17pm GMT15:17

Should mention that by all accounts, Mackay and Whelan were given a rapturous reception by the Wigan fans when they poked their faces over the parapet today. If you are more concerned about the score rather than the reception, it’s Wigan 0-0 Middlesbrough.

3.14pm GMT15:14

GOAL! Stoke 0-2 Burnley (Ings)

... Ings for England, surely?

Updated at 3.40pm GMT

3.13pm GMT15:13

GOAL! Stoke 0-1 Burnley (Ings)

Stoke had started well – with Bojan looking dangerous – but it is Burnley who have taken the lead. Ings tapped it in from close range after Barnes’s cross was pushed out by Begovic. But there is more good news ...

Updated at 3.20pm GMT

3.12pm GMT15:12

GOAL! Chelsea 1-0 West Bromwich Albion (Costa)

A cross from the left finds Costa. The WBA defence all want him ruled offside but it ain’t happening and Costa does the rest.

Updated at 3.25pm GMT

3.10pm GMT15:10

GOAL! Manchester City 0-1 Swansea (Bony)

The new contract has obviously inspired Bony. He is picked out with a Dyer pass, he takes the ball down on his chest and he puts his side into the lead. That is Swansea’s first ever goal at the Etihad Stadium.

Updated at 3.23pm GMT

3.08pm GMT15:08

There has been a goal in the Championship, however, and it has gone to Bournemouth against Ipswich. Huzzah (for them)! Yann Kermorgant, assisted by Simon Francis, was the man celebrating once the ball hit the back of the net. Up in the Premier League, QPR have started well and Wes Brown has just had another blooper for Sunderland that lucky for him did not cost his side a goal. That is the thing about Brown, he is either absolutely terrible or absolutely brilliant. There is never anything in between.

3.03pm GMT15:03

No goals to report of yet. Best League in the world, is it? Pah!

3.01pm GMT15:01

Off we go then. Should mention, Schalke, who take on Chelsea in the Champions League this coming week, are taking Wolfsburg to the cleaners. With just over 30 minutes gone, they are already three goals to the good.

Updated at 3.01pm GMT

2.57pm GMT14:57

So this is quite interesting:

German football league boss Christian Seifert calls for European boycott of 2018 & 2022 World Cups. Another crack in the wall. #FifaFiles

It won’t happen though, will it?

2.55pm GMT14:55

TOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!! #FCBTSG 1-0 (23.)

Mario Götze with a sublime strike.

Updated at 3.13pm GMT

2.51pm GMT14:51

“Afternoon Ian” cheers Simon McMahon. “There’s big league action in Scotland too this afternoon, with high-flying Dundee United up against Kilmarnock at Tannadice, which is filling up nicely now. In other news, Dundee will be hoping to avoid a pasting at Celtic, and it’s Hamilton v St Mirren and Inverness v Motherwell.”

2.50pm GMT14:50

GOAL! 12' @BVB take lead as @Aubameyang7 put the finishing touches on a fine delivery from Erik Durm. http://t.co/XkwOUHr4Lj #SCPBVB

Updated at 3.06pm GMT

2.49pm GMT14:49

As people over on the Twitter have pointed out Chris Baird is making his first Premier League start for 658 days. Now normally that would be enough to earn Baird a pat on the back and a round of applause except his 658 days totally pales in comparison to Ryan Taylor’s nine hundred and ninety three effin’ days. (Taylor last started a game on 4 March 2012.) Baird must be miffed.

2.42pm GMT14:42

Done and done in Tynecastle.

2.41pm GMT14:41

“Call me a romantic” romanticises Ian Copestake, “but perhaps Hoffenheim’s newly annoited international scorer Firmino will tip the scales in their favour.” Anyone else with Ian?

2.39pm GMT14:39

The lads over on Sky are talking about Stoke’s Bojan and that sensational goal against Spurs. The former Barcelona starlet who never quite fulfilled his potential talked to Stuart James recently about the pressures he had to cope with and how refreshing his new life is in the Premier League.

Sitting in the canteen at Stoke City’s training ground, Bojan Krkic’s eyes light up as he thinks back to his cameo in an epoch-defining clásico and what is widely regarded as one of the most complete team performances of all time. Pep Guardiola’s Barcelona were leading 4-0 against Real Madrid at the Camp Nou, revelling in passing their bitter rivals to death, when Krkic, a 20-year-old substitute, replaced David Villa and quickly made his mark.

“I assisted the fifth goal,” Krkic says, replaying the memory of the cross he delivered for Jeffrén Suárez to convert for a Barcelona side in their pomp. “It was incredible how this team used to play football. The players used to have a lot of confidence, things simply worked themselves. I also played when we won in Madrid 6-2 [in May 2009]. We played a lot of games that were perfect. We played at a very high level for two or three years. But definitely that was the perfect game, because we won 5-0 against Real Madrid.”

That was the back end of November 2010. Four years on and Krkic is preparing for Burnley’s visit to the Britannia Stadium on Saturday. Two famous English clubs – founder members of the Football League no less – but el clásico it is not. Indeed there is something surreal about listening to Krkic talking about the good weather in the Potteries in recent weeks and how life at Stoke is “more tranquil” than Barcelona.

It is a conversation that would have been unimaginable not so long ago, when Krkic was the boy who had it all. Schooled at Barcelona’s La Masia academy from the age of eight, he was the classic child prodigy. Krkic scored a staggering 895 goals in the club’s junior ranks, played for Spain Under-21s at the age of 16 and racked up 50 appearances for Barcelona before he was old enough to drink sangria.

Continued here.

2.35pm GMT14:35

It was 1-0 to Hearts ... It is now 2-0 to Hearts. Jamie Walker did the honours from the penalty spot and that is that.

2.30pm GMT14:30

Good luck with that Hoffenheim.

1 - For the first time since the 0-4 against Real Madrid (CL semi final 2013/14) Robben and Ribery are in Bayern's starting 11. Robbery.

2.28pm GMT14:28

It’s all over at Huddersfield. There was plenty of goal-mouth action but neither side were able to bundle the ball over the line and 0-0 it ended. Up north, by the way, Rangers are losing 1-0 to Hearts thanks to a goal from Jason Holt.

2.25pm GMT14:25

Few things worth pointing out. Costa starts, as does Fabrergas and Willian comes in for Ramires. Yacob, Baird, Gardner and Sessegnon all start for the Baggies. West Ham are missing a couple of their better players this season – including Downing and Song – which means Carroll starts. The graphics on Sky had Carroll wide on the left. If there is one thing you can be certain of today, it is that Carroll will not be playing wide on the left. As for Everton, Baines failed a late fitness test and Barry is out with ankle-knack but McCarthy starts. If only we could see Roy Keane’s face when he hears that news. Up in Newcastle, there is no Coloccini or Abeid but there is one Joey Barton who captains his newer side against his older side. Finally Kompany is back for Manchester City as are Zabaleta and Jovetic while Emnes does one for Dyer.

2.13pm GMT14:13

Dramatis personae

Chelsea v West Bromwich Albion

Chelsea: Courtois; Ivanovic, Cahill, Terry (c), Azpilicueta; Matic, Fabregas; Willian, Oscar, Hazard; D Costa. Subs: Cech, Zouma, Filipe Luis, Ramires, Schurrle, Drogba, Remy.

West Bromwich Albion: Foster, Wisdom, Dawson, Lescott, Yacob, Baird, Gardner, Brunt, Dorrans, Sessegnon, Berahino. Subs: Myhill, Gamboa, McAuley, Morrison, Anichebe, Samaras, Ideye.

Referee: Lee Mason

With no other team yet looking compete, only injuries or complacency look likely to disrupt Chelsea’s unrelenting march toward the Premier League title. But even with a doubt hanging over the participation of Cesc Fàbregas, José Mourinho’s men are more than likely to prove too strong for Alan Irvine’s West Bromwich Albion side who have been stuttering over the last month. Paul Doyle

Everton v West Ham United

Everton: Howard, Coleman, Hibbert, Jagielka, Distin, McCarthy, Osman, Barkley, Mirallas, Naismith, Lukaku. Subs: Robles, Eto’o, Besic, Atsu, Browning, Garbutt, Ledson.

West Ham United: Adrian, Reid, Cresswell, Jenkinson, Collins, Nolan, Tomkins, Noble, Amalfitano, Cole, Carroll. Subs: Jarvis, Zarate, Vaz Te, O’Brien, Demel, Jaaskelainen, Lletget.

Referee: Mark Clattenburg

Neither Sam Allardyce nor Roberto Martínez will have enjoyed the recent internationals as both sides have considerable injury concerns. Allardyce’s biggest headache is that his star striker, Diafra Sakho, and partner Enner Valencia may both miss out. If they do then Everton’s defence will breathe a sigh of relief as the pair have been instrumental in West Ham’s excellent form this season. Graham Searles

Leicester v Sunderland

Leicester: Schmeichel, De Laet, Morgan (c), Wasilewski, Konchesky, Schlupp, Cambiasso, James, Mahrez, Vardy, Ullo. Subs: Hamer, Drinkwater, King, Moore, Knockaert, Nugent, Wood

Sunderland: Pantilimon, O’Shea, Brown, Vergini, Reveillere, Cattermole, Gomez, Larsson, Wickham, Johnson, Fletcher. Subs: Mannone, Bridcutt, Rodwell, Altidore, Coates, Buckley, Robson.

Referee: Robert Madley

While not yet a relegation six-pointer, this game may have a hand in determining which of the two teams stays in the Premier League. Leicester entertain Sunderland having lost four of their past five league games in poor fashion. They will need striker Leonardo Ulloa, who has not netted since September, to regain the golden touch that saw him score freely earlier in the season. A Sunderland win will do much to boost morale in Gus Poyet’s side before fixtures against Chelsea, Manchester City and Liverpool. Yemi Abiade

Manchester City v Swansea

Manchester City: Hart, Zabaleta, Kompany (C), Demichelis, Clichy, Navas, Fernandinho, Toure, Nasri, Jovetic, Aguero. Subs: Caballero, Sagna, Mangala, Lampard, Fernando, Milner, Pozo

Swansea: Fabianski, Rangel, Bartley, Williams (C), Taylor, Ki, Carroll, Sigurdsson, Dyer, Montero, Bony. Subs: Tremmel, Tiendalli, Amat, Britton, Shelvey, Gomis, Barrow.

Referee: Neil Swarbrick

The eight-point gap to Chelsea has the champions playing an unwanted game of catch-up in November. Swansea City arrive only three points behind Manchester City so Manuel Pellegrini, who may well be without Vincent Kompany and David Silva, will be wary of Garry Monk’s side. As Bayern Munich are at the Etihad Stadium on Wednesday for a must-win Champions League encounter City will not want a confidence-sapping afternoon. Jamie Jackson

Newcastle v QPR

Newcastle: Krul; Janmaat, Williamson, Dummett, Haidara; R.Taylor, Sissoko (c), Colback; Cabella, Perez, Ameobi. Subs: Elliot, Streete, Anita, Gouffran, Armstrong, Ferreyra, Cisse.

QPR: Green, Onuoha, Dunne, Caulker, Yun, Barton, Sandro, Henry, Fer, Zamora, Austin. Subs: Traore, Phillips, McCarthy, Isla, Mutch, Kranjcar, Hoilett.

Referee: Chris Foy

Joey Barton returns to St James’ Park with QPR as a resurgent Newcastle aim for a sixth successive win in all competitions and a fourth straight clean sheet. Much more of this and Tynesiders will soon be singing about “Walking in a Pardew Wonderland”. Even so, Harry Redknapp – who must pray he can somehow emulate his Newcastle counterpart’s extraordinary renaissance – will be heartened by the raft of injuries, primarily in defence, which deprive the home side of some key performers including Fabricio Coloccini. Louise Taylor

Stoke v Burnley

Stoke: Begovic, Bardsley, Shawcross, Cameron, Muniesa, Sidwell, Nzonzi, Walters, Bojan, Moses, Diouf. Subs: Whelan, Ireland, Arnautovic, Adam, Assaidi, Crouch, Sorensen.

Burnley: Heaton, Trippier, Duff, Shackell, Ward, Kightly, Marney, Jones, Boyd, Barnes, Ings. Subs: Mee, Wallace, Sordell, Reid, Jutkiewicz, Gilks, Keane.

Referee: Martin Atkinson

Stoke City host a Burnley side who gained their first win of the season before the international break. Despite having to wait a little longer than they would have liked, Sean Dyche will be looking for a repeat performance as his side try to climb from the foot of the table. Mark Hughes, however, will be confident Stoke have enough quality to see off the Premier League newcomers. Graham Searles

Updated at 2.14pm GMT

2.01pm GMT14:01

Here comes the team news ...

1.56pm GMT13:56

It's been a bad week for football because there has been so little football. Football is the only good thing about football @ianmccourt

1.55pm GMT13:55

“Thanks for talking sense in your preamble,” cheers Ian Copestake, “as quite apart from the eedjuts in this game I was grieving anew having finished Robert Enke’s biography. But now I am seeing some light (until Johnson and Allen start tomorrow against Palace of course), and I even managed to assume that what Jose really said was “Costa has like totally recovered?” He has been here so long he completely gets question intonation.” Two things. If you haven’t read the Enke book, do so now and be prepared to weep. A lot. Secondly, you can be absolutely guaranteed that Costa won’t start as I’ve dragged him into my fantasy team for this week, in place of Aguero. I know, I know, I am an idiot.

1.47pm GMT13:47

There is one game already underway in the Championship this afternoon as Huddersfield entertain Sheffield Wednesday at the

Alfred McAlpine Stadium

John Smith’s Stadium. They may be knee deep in the second half but there is ner a goal to be telling you about.

1.40pm GMT13:40

Before we get down and dirty will all the day’s team news, you’ll probably want to do some boning up on what the various managers had to say in their Friday chin-wags with the press peeps. Let me help you with that:

That should keep you busy for a moment or three.

1.29pm GMT13:29

Stone me, it has not been a great couple of weeks for football, has it? A convicted rapist is allowed to train with his former club, some (not all) fans chant in support of him and when an elite athlete – who has served and represented her country with distinction – takes a stand against him rejoining the club, she is subject to rape threats. Lucky for all us then that Sheffield United have finally seen some sense, sense that could clearly be used and hour and 53 minutes drive away in Wigan. Over there, a man who has allegedly sent texts laced with homophobic, sexist and racist abuse has recently been re-employed despite an on-going investigation and the man who did the re-employing has turned out to be a muttonhead of the highest order, albeit – according to him anyway – a very popular muttonhead (“I have got thousands of Jewish friends”). And since United have discovered the formula for sense, maybe they wouldn’t mind sharing it with the farce that is Fifa so something can be done about the farce that is the World Cup bids and the farce that is the destroyed computers and all that jazz. It is almost enough to make you want to tell football where to shove it and go sit in a cave on Mars with a finger stuck in each ear and your eyes glued together using industrial strength adhesive. Almost. Some of the people in and around the game may be odious idiots but that does not mean we can no longer enjoy the game itself or that it no longer has something to offer us. In fact today has a lot to offer, just peekaboo at this Premier League fixture list:

Chelsea v West Bromwich AlbionEverton v West Ham United Leicester v SunderlandManchester City v SwanseaNewcastle v QPRStoke v Burnley

Top stuff, you’ll agree. So there is all that, some sizzling stuff from the lower leagues as well as red-hot continental action to keep us distracted and keep us from searching for that glue. Let’s go!

Updated at 1.32pm GMT