I love both Christmas and Hanukah. Why should I have to choose?

http://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2014/dec/17/celebrate-christmas-and-hanukah-have-to-choose

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I’m Jewish enough to attend Shabbat services on most Saturdays and to be currently enrolled in adult B’Nai Mitzvah classes – but I also have endless memories of the wonder of the Christmas season, like my mother driving me past rows of houses decorated with gorgeous lighting displays as we sang along to “Jingle Bell Rock”. Or there’s the the red and green ribbons I wore in my hair on the way to Christmas mass with my maternal grandmother, gasping in awe at the church’s immense pipe organs; the smell of bringing home a fresh Christmas tree; and even the fun of opening up my mom’s dusty cardboard boxes full of stockings, ornaments, and Santas to decorate the whole house. And what could be better than Christmas morning itself?

These memories fill my heart with joy – but when people assume that being Jewish means that I’m, at best, ambivalent toward Christmas, it makes me feel as if all of my lovely childhood holiday photos have been thrown the trash.

People who aren’t Christian aren’t automatically Scrooges: many of us come from a blended family or just grew up enjoying Christmas as an American, rather than a religious, tradition. If you think that’s weird, take it up with Hallmark - they’re the ones who invited everyone else to the party.

And I’ve also got plenty of incredible memories from Hanukkah. They might not be as relatable to the average Christian, but they’re no less meaningful or vivid than by Christmas memories. There’s something to be said for the enjoyment of setting up the menorah and putting each candle in its place; the feeling of reading centuries-old Hebrew prayers aloud each night and finding solace and belonging amongst the diaspora; the taste of my paternal grandmother’s potato pancakes and my aunt’s phenomenal brisket. And there is, of course, playing dreidel with friends and eating delicious chocolate gelt.

As someone who tries to find the best in both holidays, you might think that I’d be happy to hear “Happy Chrismukkah!” from friends and acquaintances – a reference to the episode of The OC in which a character’s Jewish father and Protestant mother throw a double holiday party – but it actually just makes me cringe each time. I love celebrating both Hanukkah and Christmas the way I love both pizza and ice cream: they’re great separately and you can even enjoy them in close proximity to one another, but don’t mush them together on the same plate. Let’s appreciate both for what they are.

Being “half-Jewish”, I have the privilege of enjoying two holidays, but I also have dealt with a lifetime of feeling pulled in different directions and not feeling as if I truly fit in on either side. It’s exhausting to hear all of the arguments over what I really am, what I should call myself, and which side I should supposedly choose.

But when it comes to the holidays, since they’re so close together, I get to feel pretty awesome for being who I am – and I have the right to pick both.

As my rabbi, Benjamin Spratt of Manhattan’s Congregation Rodeph Sholom, told me on Tuesday:

Christmas and Hanukkah are both about the blessing and joy of the season and bringing people together. The December holidays should be a meaningful time for all who believe in hope, possibility and redemption, and who want to come together in the name of family, light, hope and joy.

He added, “Your identity doesn’t have to be compromised or compartmentalized by the holidays you choose to celebrate.”

This holiday season, lay off the Chrismukkah jokes, and stop worrying that your Jewish friends won’t have a good time at your Christmas party or appreciate your Santa cookies. Instead of making assumptions, simply ask your friends and colleagues directly about what they celebrate, and how and why they choose to do so. In a world rife with cultural misunderstanding, it’s kind and respectful to lend a truly open ear. ’Tis the season and all.