University is one big popularity contest – but don't try too hard

http://www.theguardian.com/education/2015/jan/08/university-is-one-big-popularity-contest-but-dont-try-too-hard

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The first few months at university can be dizzyingly fun: late nights, ridiculous adventures and throwing yourself into things you care about.

But alongside the great stuff, students can find themselves embroiled in the kind of status games they thought they’d left behind in the playground. Who’s considered cool? Who’s well-known? And who’s part of the in-crowd? These kinds of questions can be relentless – and exhausting.

Many don’t give a damn what anyone thinks, such as Lewis Channing, a student at Cardiff University: “I haven’t been caught up in the need to conform. The only pressure I’m drawn by is the need to look fabulous as often as I can.”

“The only pressure I’m drawn by is the need to look fabulous as often as I can.”

But others find it the whole thing a struggle, especially at the beginning, when everyone is re-establishing their identities and forging friendships. People are making judgments based on first impressions, and that heightens anxieties about being accepted or admired.

Jas Barker, a student at Bath Spa University, says of her first few months: “I’d pick out the parts of my life I thought would be deemed exciting and exaggerate them slightly to be seen as a cool, interesting person people would want to be friends with. Saying this now makes me feel silly.”

Rachael Baskeyfield, a student at Falmouth University, says: “There’s a stereotype, particularly with art students, to dress and act in certain ways.” The markers that place you as part of a group – outfits, behaviour, who you hang out with and where you go – take on added significance.

For others, status is about who you know. Chloe, who graduated from Cardiff University last year, recalls a group in her year who would hang around with a DJ and a guy who ran a drum and bass night. “Everyone wanted to know them for free entry to club nights, cheap drinks and access to semi-famous DJs.”

Knowing where the next party is may have given them a sense of achievement. But, Chloe adds: “Those who regarded themselves as high status gave themselves a free pass to act like a dick.”

Whether your status at uni is linked to appearance, academic achievement, or friendship with popular people will depend on where you are and your particular social group. Some focus on partying, others admire the big figures in student journalism, theatre or DJing.

Social class can play a part in your status, too. “One thing I noticed at university was the rich-poor divide,” says Chloe.

Cosima Ferri, who studied at Queen Mary, says: “I clicked with a lot of people, but ultimately didn’t hang out with them all at once because I knew I didn’t tick all their boxes. They were from more privileged backgrounds than me – well-travelled and with socially liberal families.”

Disposable income obviously affects the experiences, creative endeavours, and nights out you can afford. There’s an element of networking, too – university is the time to make contacts that will pay off once you’ve graduated. Some hard-nosed studentsonly bother to befriend those they think might be useful in future.

“The people who operate within the most circles and create a brand for themselves will ultimately form a strong network,” says Rachael. “However, I don’t think this relates necessarily to being ‘high school cool’. At university, it’s the strength of your character, what you have to say and what you produce, that gets people interested.”

Being willing to enter discussions, work hard, make things, get involved with initiatives, meet people, go out dancing, network, find opportunities and – ideally – wear some damn good outfits, are all self-affirming things to do.

“I sometimes wish I could go back and have a chat with myself in first year,” says Jas. “I’d tell her there’s no need to worry and to be herself. That’s all she needs to do.”