Tourists and strife: looking for trouble in Hollywood

http://www.theguardian.com/theguardian/2015/jan/16/tourists-trouble-hollywood-sign-zoe-williams

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There is an argument that says, if you don’t like tourists, then you shouldn’t buy a house on Wonder View Drive. It is not one, however, that would convince the residents of the Hollywood Hills. They are sick of the pilgrims to the Hollywood Sign. All the norms of human decency have been abandoned, apparently - tourists don’t just drive up to the viewing platform, though that vexes the locals enough. They scramble up to the letters themselves. They urinate on them; they spit at the residents. They take selfies. It has caused so much ill-feeling that the locals have persuaded some mapping software companies to take the road off the maps.

One resident, Heather Hamza, told the Hollywood Reporter last week: “I shudder to think if any of these people coming up here have weapons in their cars. One of these days someone will get shot.” I often shudder to think what would happen if people drove around with yoghurt in their cars. One of these days, someone would get covered in yoghurt.

The drive up to the sign, which was originally constructed in 1923 to advertise a local housing development but has since become synonymous with the city’s celluloid heritage, reminds me of Guildford - lots of greenery and high hedges, the intimation of great riches but nothing to see.

On the streets of Los Angeles proper, you can walk for four miles and see nobody who isn’t pushing a lawnmower. Up here, in the Santa Monica mountains, there is a purposeful hiking, together with, granted, a lot of cars. The viewing platform is a fair way from the sign itself, and there is no way I can see of scrambling any closer, irrespective of the trespassing signs. But it can’t be this, surely? This 10ft square lay-by of people taking pictures: nobody could mind this?

Michael, 34, and Vanessa, 32, were on holiday from the east coast. “The calibre of individual that would live up here,” he said, “I can imagine there would be animosity. When you pay $30m for a house, you want your privacy.” “Maybe they want their privacy,” Vanessa interjected, “but then they shouldn’t live here.” I aired some scepticism that anybody really does get up there, and Michael said gamely, “If I’d come 10 years ago, with 10 of my friends, I’m sure one of us would have made it up there.” We all paused respectfully to consider the passing of time and the way fellowship cedes to coupledom. Then I backed away, satisfied that I had opened up at least two serious faultlines in their relationship.

Mandy and Dean, 49 and 50 respectively, were here from Wakefield. “It’s too many cars coming up and down, that’s what it is,” said Dean, authoritatively. “I think they’re mad,” said Mandy. “They should have a little shop or a cafe, they’d make a killing.”

Most people don’t mind tourists because they spend so much money. When you already have all the money in the world, the upsides are less apparent. It makes you wonder how the Queen feels about Buckingham Palace.

Sebastian, 20, was a real-life resident, though he was studying in New York and was just visiting his parents. “With iconic stuff, it can be washed away with the tourism, but there’s a beauty to it. I would go to the Chinese theatre just to photograph the tourists. Because I find them as interesting as they find it.”

Deidre, 27, Melissa, 31, and Chenoa, 30, were a mixture of local and tourist, meeting for Melissa’s birthday. “I went past the ‘no trespassing’ sign once,” Deidre said, “but I didn’t make it that far. I don’t think you could get up there.” She was seriously dubious that anybody had ever urinated on the sign. The closest resident, Jeffrey Kleiser, has insisted upon this fiercely to the Hollywood reporter, claiming that people are always falling off it and knocking on his door, asking for medical assistance.

“I would love to climb up there,” said Chenoa. “I would just love to see how small I was compared to one of those letters.” I suggested to her that she just stand next to any given thing that was 45ft high. “No, I want it to be the O.” “The O?” said Deidre. “Don’t you want to be in the Y?” I appear to have sown yet more discord.

“In the end, the Hollywood sign was here first,” Chenoa adjudicated. “It’s been here longer than any of them.” It probably isn’t accurate down to its core, this statement (there will be somebody in these hills who is incredibly old). But it’s true enough.