Farewell Atlantis – what would you like to watch in the Doctor Who slot?
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Version 0 of 1. Goodbye, Atlantis, we hardly knew ye. Once this second series comes to a close, the boisterous if unlovably featherweight action-fantasy will be no more, thanks to the BBC’s “difficult” decision to send it to the knacker’s yard of expensive, Saturday-night Doctor-Who alternatives. There it will join Merlin, which managed a respectable five series, and Robin Hood, which limped forlornly to three. And, like them, there it will be forgotten, alongside the inevitably shortlived Twitter campaign to see it renewed on Amazon, Ripper Street-style. The issue of what to with the Doctor Who slot when Doctor Who isn’t on is a persistent stone in the shoe of the BBC. Since the Doctor’s rebirth in 2005, the corporation has dredged folklore for popular myths and legends, in the hope that updating them with spry, plucky, improbably good-looking young male leads will eventually pay dividends. Since it has also displayed an almost compulsive habit of killing these shows off, it clearly hasn’t yet. So how do you solve a problem like the Doctor Who slot? Make more Doctor Who It’s simple: fill the Doctor Who void with Doctor Who, milking the Doctor Who teat until it’s an arid, depleted hickory nut. In practice, this is of course untenable – Doctor Who’s 14-episode run (if you count various specials) is already generous by British standards, and expanding it even to a US-style 22-episode series would stretch the actors and production teams beyond breaking point. Capaldi would pack it in. Moffat would have to sacrifice Sherlock. The show would inevitably suffer filler episodes of sub-Love and Monsters terribleness. Audiences would soon tire. Doctor Who would die. The world would end. Still, you can bet this idea’s been considered at some point. Make a Doctor Who spinoff The long-awaited introduction of a female Time Lord, perhaps? Clara’s post-Doctor exploits in the same vein as the The Sarah Jane Adventures? Madame Vastra kicking the neon snot out of all manner of Victorian alien ne’er-do-wells? It’s the next-best thing to the Tardis whooshing across our HDs, could use different writers, actors and production teams and, like Torchwood, could veer off in a direction all of its own while retaining a borrowed fistful of the magic of its parent show. In fact, the BBC could just produce a more family-skewed series of Torchwood. Why don’t they just do that? Torchwood was brilliant. Exhume more myths and legends If it’s clearly broken, why fix it? The Musketeers would have bedded itself into the Saturday teatime slot perfectly but that ship has sailed. Instead we could have a throwaway fantasy-action series set in the world of the Roman gods, or Norse mythology. This is probably what will happen. ITV’s just nabbed Beowulf, so expect The Swashbuckling Adventures of the Young, Spry, Plucky, Improbably Good-Looking Pied Piper soon. Cancelled after one series. An American import People would protest: “What are we even paying a licence fee for?!” But, amid a dearth of alternatives, perhaps the BBC should be looking out for the next Agents of Shield, or Arrow, or Flash, or Gotham. The long-mooted but as-yet illusive Star Wars TV show, perhaps? Doctor Who is an established, popular franchise. Replacing it with another one makes sense. The only problem here is that the existing shows mentioned above are all, in their own unique ways, a bit rubbish. Imagine dross such as The Tomorrow People being on the telly every Saturday night. The pubs would be packed; the streets ransacked by rampaging hordes of entertainment-bereft kids setting fire to anything that isn’t already on fire. Or everyone would quietly watch something else on Netflix. Take a risk A homegrown intelligent, high-concept drama that isn’t based on anything or set in ancient something-or-other, with an established writer at its helm, a talented young cast and a steadfast belief placed in it by the BBC? Sounds perfect. Consider the recent cancellation of the superb In the Flesh, and then consider the likelihood of this happening in 2015. And ITV’s pratfalls with the not exactly cheap Primeval or the woeful Demons are a warning to anyone attempting something similarly ambitious on a Saturday night. Still, if money was no object, worth a try. Though, it has to be pointed out, money is definitely still an object. Admit Doctor Who is irreplaceable and make Strictly five hours long When Doctor Who is on, the family watches Doctor Who, even though one member of the family always feels the need to keep the others fully appraised of the extent to which they hate it. When Doctor Who isn’t on, the family can watch a new extended series of Strictly and enjoy the glamour of celebrities who have never danced dancing poorly, and celebrities who are semi-professional dancers dancing well. Anyone who doesn’t like Strictly can go and do one of the dozen or so alternative activities available to humankind. Meanwhile, the world keeps spinning interminably on its axis. |