Rock stars’ riders: square melons, emergency limes and Monster Munch
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Version 0 of 1. When Jack White’s on-tour guacamole recipe was leaked this week, many fans’ first thought was to wonder whether it was any good. Won’t the chunks of avocado snap your Kettle Chips? This, perhaps, represents a change in the way that we see rock stars. Maybe you can have nice food on the road, and still be a hard-rocking, street-fighting guitar virtuoso like the ex-White Stripes man? Related: Jack White’s guacamole recipe: perfect for the avocado obsessive For years, the document from which the recipe came, the “rider”, has been a rich source of information from which to mock musicians. Primarily designed to tell the concert venue what technical specifications they will need, it also deals with the talent’s dietary and other requirements. According to tour manager Richard Ames, who has escorted the Grateful Dead, Duran Duran and Supertramp, among others: “In the early days, if bands weren’t careful they would be given chicken on every night of the tour. So the first riders would just specify chicken Monday, vegetarian Tuesday, fish Wednesday and so on.” Inevitably, these demands became more specific. He remembers driving from London with a bootful of emergency limes for Fleetwood Mac, who had discovered they couldn’t find them anywhere in the benighted corner of the UK where they were playing that night. Happily for rock historians, dozens of these riders, from the Beatles to Britney Spears, are now stored on theSmokingGun.com. They provide a history of the changing tastes of touring bands, from the decadence of the 70s to the hummus and mineral water of the present day. The 80s were, perhaps, the golden age of the rider. This was when Iggy Pop drew up his 18-page parody, which included “Cauliflower/broccoli, cut into individual florets and thrown immediately into the garbage.” It was also the decade of Van Halen’s M&Ms with the brown ones taken out. The band later claimed that this was just to test whether the venue was actually reading their important but fantastically tedious technical specs for amp sockets and so on. “If I saw a brown M&M in that bowl, I’d line-check the whole production,” says vocalist David Lee Roth in his autobiography. “Guaranteed you’d run into a problem.” It is these little details, hidden away, that are the most interesting part of riders. Guns N’ Roses, for example, used to insist on “shop-bought” cookies, perhaps a testament to too many years of being brought the home-baked variety by groupies vainly trying to form some kind of a bond. Too many cookies evidently took their toll on Axl Rose, who, in 2012, asked for “square melon” – a fruit that is not only extremely rare (just a few hundred square watermelons are produced a year), but also doesn’t taste as nice as normal melon. In the past 15 years, though, as the music industry slowly winds down, this kind of rock’n’roll excess has begun to disappear. In 2003, Eminem was still clinging on to the golden age of fancy booze and meals served “on china with linen napkins and proper glassware”. By 2010, he had forgotten all about the linen, eliminated the high-end alcohol and was asking for low-calorie pickles, as well as a long, melancholy list of condiments. (“Hellmans Real mayo. Kraft Range dressing. Light Miracle Whip. French’s Yellow Mustard. Meijer’s Honey mustard. Grey Poupon mustard.”) Most demands simply reflect the increasing awareness we all have of what we eat, though some take this to extremes – Morrissey famously refuses to have anything to do with carnivores, once cancelling a gig in Iceland because of the venue’s refusal to go meat-free. (“I shall leave the Harpa Concert Hall to their cannibalistic, flesh-eating bloodlust,” he said.) Lady Gaga has been accused of making diva-ish demands, but, unless you’re Morrissey, is it really so unreasonable to ask for a piping hot roast chicken, ready to eat the moment you step off stage? Most modern acts are happy enough with getting the right flavour of crisps and decent beer. Adele has a strict “no American beer” rule. Lily Allen asks for 12 packs of Monster Munch, while the Foo Fighters hark back to the golden age of rider jokes with their demands for Cup O Noodles, “but only on Wednesday”. The really big bands, of course, don’t need any extra food. Ames says: “The Rolling Stones go on tour with what is essentially a travelling five-star restaurant.” The truth about riders, however, is that they’re not really about the artist. White’s management responded to the leak of his rider by claiming that they don’t even know whether he likes guacamole. “Contrary to what some believe,” they said, “Jack doesn’t write the rider nor make demands about his favourite snacks that must be in his dressing room.” So who has the phobia about guacamole that has been reduced to a smooth mulch? Step forward Lalo Medina, White’s long-standing tour manager. “Try Lalo’s recipe,” urge his management, “it’s delicious.” Tour managers are expected to have control over every little detail. Often, that’s impossible. With guacamole, though, there’s just a chance that you can get it right. If rock stars’ food is getting better, they may not even notice, but behind them are numerous hungry roadies who deserve the very best guacamole that they can eat. |