Someone loves me, but my upbringing means I don’t know how to respond
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Version 0 of 1. I’m a 28-year-old woman who has never had the confidence to be with anybody. When someone approached me for a date or even a kiss on my nights out in my university days, I would always make up an excuse and shy away. For many years, I thought it was my weight that was an issue, but as that is coming down, I realise I truly am a confident person happy in myself in all matters of life except the one which matters the most. All I’m left with is a childhood filled with violently abusive parents that showed me a very distorted view of how relationships work. I have since cut all ties with them and am managing my mental health. Now there is someone who loves me, I know she does, but I don’t know how to respond or where to start. It’s too painful. I feel broken. • When leaving a message on this page, please be sensitive to the fact that you are responding to a real person in the grip of a real-life dilemma, who wrote to Private Lives asking for help, and may well view your comments here. Please consider especially how your words or the tone of your message could be perceived by someone in this situation, and be aware that comments which appear to be disruptive or disrespectful to the individual concerned will be removed. • If you would like fellow readers to respond to a dilemma of yours, send us an outline of the situation of about 150 words. For advice from Pamela Stephenson Connolly on sexual matters, send us a brief description of your concerns. • All correspondence should reach us by Wednesday morning. Email: private.lives@theguardian.com (please don’t send attachments). |