Who killed Lucy Beale? EastEnders' main suspects under the spotlight
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Version 0 of 1. This week, after what seems like an eternity, EastEnders is finally going to reveal who killed Lucy Beale. According to the BBC website, there are currently 14 suspects, all of whom have their own nefarious motives. Fortunately, since the poor lamb’s already been through enough, Danny Dyer’s Mick Carter has not made the list. But the following characters have. Allow me to present them to you, in order of increasing suspicion. Ian BealeIan can’t possibly have killed Lucy. For starters, when she was being murdered, he was off bonking a prostitute somewhere. Plus, he obviously doesn’t have it in him to commit murder. He doesn’t even have it in him to grow convincing facial hair. Lauren BranningLauren is out of the picture, purely because she has been responsible for revealing the identity of the real murderer. That’s unless tottering around Albert Square all big-eyed like a cartoon lamb in a real-life abattoir is suddenly a sign of guilt, of course, in which case lock her up. Related: EastEnders: 30 years of booze, fights and faaaamily Lee CarterLee once had a fling with Lucy, but that doesn’t mean he killed her. Besides, if he went to prison, who’d stand around Albert Square breathing angrily through their nose all day like a Jeremy Kyle guest frustrated by their own inability to pronounce the word “paternity”? Cindy WilliamsCindy Williams has been in EastEnders since August 2013 and I still don’t know who she is. For that reason, she probably didn’t kill Lucy. Pam CokerA funeral director who doesn’t really take part in any storylines ever. If she killed Lucy, I’ll personally go and torch the EastEnders set as retribution for the show disappointing us so much. Les CokerAnother funeral director whose involvement in the murder would have no dramatic impact. Plus, he’s played by an actor who appeared in about 90% of the TV shows I loved as a kid. EastEnders wouldn’t be that cruel to us, surely. Denise FoxDenise was Ian Beale’s main romantic interest at the time of Lucy’s death. But now she’s an alcoholic. Is that because she has blood on her hands, or because she’s desperately trying to erase the memory of Ian Beale’s penis from her mind? It’s almost certainly the latter. Jay BrownLiterally only a suspect because he wore a hat on a bus once. Next. Whitney DeanWhitney’s barely been in EastEnders since Lucy was killed. Is that because the writers ran out of things to do with her after Patsy Palmer left, or because she’s been on the lam from the cops? You decide. Peter BealeLucy wouldn’t have been murdered by her own twin brother, would she? Especially not one with whom she shared a grossly underused psychic connection. Then again, the actor who plays Peter is about to leave the show. The backstage logistics alone make him a suspect. Ben MitchellAll Ben Mitchell does is bludgeon people. He bopped that boy on the head with a spanner in The Arches. He bopped poor Hev on the head with a photo frame and killed her. He must be a suspect. Unless he was dressing up as a dustbin and dancing around to Lady Gaga songs again at the time, which would be a pretty watertight alibi. Max BranningMax is a major suspect because he had an affair with Lucy Beale right before she died. But come on now. If everyone who came into contact with Max Branning’s genitals ended up dead, Albert Square would be like the blinking Mary Celeste. Abi BranningAbi Branning was once such a sweet young girl. But then the hormones kicked in and now she’s a monster. She has destroyed evidence. She has tried to drown her sister. She killed a dog, for crying out loud. A dog! EastEnders might be using her as the mother of all red herrings, but don’t be surprised if she’s revealed as the murderer on Thursday. Jane BealeJane definitely did it. I can’t remember exactly what my reasons are for accusing her, but I definitely remember thinking that she definitely killed Lucy during Friday’s episode. She had no reason to commit murder, and I hope she didn’t, because, to my eternal shame, I’ve become a bit of a Jane and Ian (Jian?) shipper in recent months. But Jane definitely killed Lucy Beale. Just you wait and see. |