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| Five things we’ve learnt about David Cameron from his kitchen interview | Five things we’ve learnt about David Cameron from his kitchen interview |
| (about 1 hour later) | |
| His family has their priorities right | His family has their priorities right |
| As leader of the country and of his household, it’s important that Dave instils a sense of moral duty in all who defer to him. Personally I only have to glance at the picture I keep of him on my bedside table and am immediately overcome with the need to recycle my plastic, pop along to church on Sundays and bloody well sort out the economy by kicking a few people on benefits in the shins during my morning commute. | As leader of the country and of his household, it’s important that Dave instils a sense of moral duty in all who defer to him. Personally I only have to glance at the picture I keep of him on my bedside table and am immediately overcome with the need to recycle my plastic, pop along to church on Sundays and bloody well sort out the economy by kicking a few people on benefits in the shins during my morning commute. |
| Sometimes I have a little cry about how Cameron triumphed over unfair discrimination against posh people | Sometimes I have a little cry about how Cameron triumphed over unfair discrimination against posh people |
| It’s good to know that his fatherly influence has shaped his children in his own, highly ethical image, as was revealed when Cameron told his (fellow Etonite) interviewer James Landale that his daughter Nancy had threatened to go on hunger strike if Jeremy Clarkson wasn’t reinstated on Top Gear. Clarkson, after all, is a family friend who lives in the same village and everyone finds it jolly hilarious when he punches people over arguments about steak at dinner parties. DC may have clarified that Nancy is “hardly Gandhi”, but she’s not far off, now, is she, Dave? The apple never falls far from the tree. | It’s good to know that his fatherly influence has shaped his children in his own, highly ethical image, as was revealed when Cameron told his (fellow Etonite) interviewer James Landale that his daughter Nancy had threatened to go on hunger strike if Jeremy Clarkson wasn’t reinstated on Top Gear. Clarkson, after all, is a family friend who lives in the same village and everyone finds it jolly hilarious when he punches people over arguments about steak at dinner parties. DC may have clarified that Nancy is “hardly Gandhi”, but she’s not far off, now, is she, Dave? The apple never falls far from the tree. |
| Poshness has never held him back | Poshness has never held him back |
| Has his debilitating poshness ever held him back? “Well, it hasn’t stopped me being prime minister,” Dave responded to the question, with admirable courage. Sometimes, when I’m alone, I have a little cry about how Cameron triumphed over unfair discrimination against posh people. And to think his father, who used a wheelchair, believed he was the one who had triumphed over adversity. Some people. | Has his debilitating poshness ever held him back? “Well, it hasn’t stopped me being prime minister,” Dave responded to the question, with admirable courage. Sometimes, when I’m alone, I have a little cry about how Cameron triumphed over unfair discrimination against posh people. And to think his father, who used a wheelchair, believed he was the one who had triumphed over adversity. Some people. |
| He owns a self-referential chopping board | He owns a self-referential chopping board |
| In the background of the kitchen interview, it was clear to see that the Camerons own a novelty “calm down dear” chopping board. Could this be a not-so-subtle head nod towards one of his proudest moments as prime minister, when he responded to a question from Angela Eagle in the Commons with: “Calm down, dear. Calm down and listen to the doctor”? Oh, Dave, you’re so lovable and mischievous. Even in the kitchen you keep those women calm. | In the background of the kitchen interview, it was clear to see that the Camerons own a novelty “calm down dear” chopping board. Could this be a not-so-subtle head nod towards one of his proudest moments as prime minister, when he responded to a question from Angela Eagle in the Commons with: “Calm down, dear. Calm down and listen to the doctor”? Oh, Dave, you’re so lovable and mischievous. Even in the kitchen you keep those women calm. |
| Related: Labour fury as David Cameron tells Angela Eagle: 'Calm down, dear' | Related: Labour fury as David Cameron tells Angela Eagle: 'Calm down, dear' |
| His wife likes him better than Ed Miliband | His wife likes him better than Ed Miliband |
| Surprisingly to everyone in the country, Samantha Cameron believes her own husband should be voted prime minister at the next general election rather than Ed Miliband. “He’s the right man for the job,” she told the nation in a confiding tone near the end of the interview. What’s important to note is that SamCam has nothing to personally gain from DC getting back in to Number 10 this time around, so her opinion really matters. You can trust a woman who has decked out her kitchen with all the “mod cons such as a blender and an ice-dispensing fridge freezer” (thanks, Daily Mail). | |
| None of the Conservative MPs have hit puberty yet | None of the Conservative MPs have hit puberty yet |
| Some of us might have already suspected this, but Cameron has now proven it once and for all. Everybody associated with him in the party is a “boy”, it turns out. William Hague is a “boy”, his colleagues are “boys”, and he himself is a “country boy” who presumably just wandered into No 10 one day, dusted off his wellies and got given a rather difficult job to do. Personally I have always suspected that the House of Commons installed a direct conveyor belt from Eton and Westminster schools. Today I feel vindicated. |