David Cameron, Shredded Wheat and the art of stopping after two
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Version 0 of 1. In David Cameron’s interview with the BBC this week, he revealed that he wanted to stand down as PM after serving two terms. Or as he put it, using that famous gift he has for speaking in the language of the everyman: “Terms are like Shredded Wheat – two are wonderful but three might just be too many.” But as we enter the last 40-odd days of the election campaign, what else should Cameron stop after only two? 1. Dodgy appointments. You can just about get away with Andy Coulson and Lord Green. But no more ... 2. Kitchens. One for upstairs and one for downstairs. This doesn’t apply to second homes. Or third or fourth homes. 3 Ukip defectors. Douglas Carswell and Mark Reckless can be explained away as rogue elements. Any more would be a trend. 4. Identities. It’s perfectly normal to be both Grant Shapps and Michael Green. To also be Sebastian Fox is pushing it. 5. TV debates. One for all the party leaders and the other ... a non-debate with the Labour leader in which the two men answer questions at different times. Anything else would detract from the possibility of re-election. 6. Aircraft carriers. As long as you don’t mind if one is decommissioned and the other is yet to be built. 7. Jokes at fundraising black tie ball. One about parliamentary expenses because we’ve all done it; and one about being on benefits because we all most certainly haven’t. Anything else isn’t funny. |