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How to travel with children – and still make it a holiday for everyone
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They bring endless joy, but there is no doubt that children change your life forever. Holidays, like weekends, change fairly radically after their arrival. You need to recalibrate your expectations: gone are the long lie-ins, hours on a sun-lounger reading a novel, moonlit suppers by the pool a deux, and in are child-centred holidays with all that they entail, usually including some sort of relay system with your partner as you take it in turns to look after the little darlings.
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Fortunately a proper break with some quality time, both with your children and with your partner and – whisper it where you will – on your own, is entirely possible. It’s all in the planning.
Get out the spreadsheet
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Plan, plan and plan some more. The secret, says Rachel Andrews-Ingram of totstotravel.co.uk, is all in the organising. You need to anticipate all the needs you’re trying to fulfil, and to make sure that as much as possible is in place. “Think through everything you’ll need, and be prepared,” says Rachel. “Every property booked through totstotravel has the kit you’ll need if you’re travelling with a baby or young child – the sterilising equipment, the blender, the toys. It makes life much less stressful, and a holiday is supposed to be a time that’s stress-free.”
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The old adage, that if the child or children are happy the parents will be too, definitely holds: but so too does its corollary, which is that if the parents are happy the kids will be as well. To that end, Andrews-Ingram recommends that, if you’re travelling as she will be this summer with a baby, you find somewhere with pleasant, private outside space – a terrace or poolside area, perhaps – where you and your partner can have a meal and a bottle of wine once the little one is in bed.
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Finding somewhere with childcare, if you’ve got small children, can be transformative (although bear in mind that the children have to be happy with the childcare, or it all falls apart). But remember that a bit of help can go a long way: even if you don’t want wall-to-wall crèche facilities, you might like to be somewhere with babysitting facilities. One or two nights out with your partner on a busy family holiday can make all the difference to re-connecting with your partner, and to feeling you’ve managed something different.
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Don’t do it alone
At home you no doubt have built in plenty of structure to your days of childcare - from coffee mornings and playgroups to swimming lessons and baby bounce sessions. Take that concept with you on your holiday and you’ll find life is easier with some focused entertainment for the kids while providing some sociable get-togethers for the parents. Look for a holiday with structure available or built in. That means hotels with kid’s clubs or accommodation with nearby activities that will lift the onus from your shoulders of having to organise everything for everyone.
Another idea is to organise a holiday with a like-minded family, or families. If you do this, the number one rule is: make sure the children get on. This is far, far more important than whether the adults are friendly, though this is of course a bonus. The big advantage of shared holidays, as well as being great fun and providing constant playmates for your brood, is that the other couple can occasionally babysit your kids, and you can babysit theirs, so you get time with your partner; and if you fancy it, there’s scope for a mums’ night out and a dads’ night out too.
A variation on the shared holiday is to take along the grandparents. This is a boon when it comes to having babysitters on hand, but its potential success lies in how willing the grandparents are to muck in and have fun.
Another idea worth considering is to take along an au pair or student to help take the load. If you’ve several small children, you don’t want to holiday with another family and don’t have grandparents who could help, this could be worth the investment. It should afford you and your partner time on your own, while the au pair helps the other partner, and you’ll definitely be able to have some evenings out.
Travelling with older kids
Once children are out of toddlerhood, you’ll need to re-calibrate again. When you’ve got a mix of pre-teens and teenagers, it’s no longer about keeping a constant eye on them. Instead you’re job is how to make sure that their burgeoning independence is satisfied, while being sure they’re safe and sound when you’re not with them.
The answer, according to Karen Simmonds of travelmatters.co.uk, which provides bespoke family holidays, is to include the children in all aspects of the planning of the holiday, so they’re able to input what they want and will feel properly engaged with the trip. “Another good tip is to look for a place with free wifi – and not just in the main areas, but throughout the resort or villa,” she says. “Teenagers today absolutely have to keep in touch with their friends while they’re away, and life will be calmer for all concerned if they can’t do that.”
Holidays that cater properly for older children and teenagers can be pricer than holidays for younger kids; but if you’re looking for a budget option with this age group, think carefully about camping. “Don’t forget that camping these days doesn’t mean in a boring tent or a mobile home,” says Karen Simmonds. “You can stay in a tree house, or a yurt, or a tepee – and teenagers love unusual places.” It’s hard to emphasise too strongly how important it is to engage teenagers with the holiday you’re planning: the happier they feel about it, the more relaxing a time you’re going to have.
And finally …
… being realistic in your expectations can make all the difference. Think about what’s genuinely possible, do your best to make it happen, but be prepared to go with the flow. And remember to pack your sense of humour along with your swimming costume.
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