Vacancy opens up for PC with an eye for offbeat crimes

http://www.theguardian.com/uk-news/2015/apr/03/vacancy-opens-up-for-pc-with-an-eye-for-offbeat-crimes

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Described as “quite possibly the most enviable policing post in the UK or even the world”, a new constable is being sought for the Isles of Scilly.

The islands, a popular tourist destination 30 miles off the Cornish coast with a population of about 2,000, are not renowned as a hotbed of crime but any potential candidate would need to know how to handle a stray seal in the high street or be able to pacify drunken chefs in a row over salt.

Crimes investigated by the officers recently include a goldfish found abandoned on the steps of the police station, a short-sighted horse vandalising cars and a 50-year-old row over a shed.

The current postholder, PC Faye Webb, is transferring to a new role in Plymouth so Devon and Cornwall police are trying to track down a replacement.

The successful candidate will no longer have to share an office with Mowgli the cat, given the honorary title of deputy chief constable, as he has recently retired.

As Sgt Colin Taylor explains on the force’s Facebook page, the skills required may not be the same as those for officers elsewhere in the UK: “The ability to explain cheerfully in infinite different ways to holidaymakers that ‘No you are not hallucinating, I am a real police officer’ and ‘Yes, there are things for me to do here’.

“The resolve to issue a parking ticket to your spouse so tactfully so as not find dinner in the dog thereafter.

“At 2am whilst still wearing pyjamas under your uniform and wiping sleep from your eyes having been called out on duty from deep REM sleep, resolve a disagreement originating hours beforehand regarding the merits of sea salt verses rock salt between a couple of drunk chefs.

“Unflinching confidence to know what to do when you are alerted to an abandoned seal pup making its way up the main street.”