Chris Ashton: seeing wing rivals take my England place left me sore

http://www.theguardian.com/sport/2015/apr/03/chris-ashton-wing-england-saracens

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Some resurrections are harder to complete than others. Chris Ashton’s has frequently been painful and still has a way to go regardless of his efforts this Easter weekend. “You can’t let it get to you and let coaches see you have a negative turn,” murmurs the Saracens wing, still grappling with the exquisite mental torture of exclusion from the England squad in a home World Cup year. “You can’t feel sorry for yourself.”

Such are the side-effects of national rejection in your sporting prime. Ashton has just turned 28 and feels in tip-top nick but has not played for England since the third Test against the All Blacks almost 10 months ago. If he could turn back the clock and alter anything it would be the fag end of last season: “Maybe in New Zealand in the summer I’d like to have had longer on the field in that second Test. For the third Test to go the way it did … that was a tough one for me. To have worked my way back to start only for that to happen kind of shot me back down again.”

On that grim evening in a grey Hamilton, it did indeed look as if Ashton had pressed the self-destruct button on his international career for the final time. His direct opponent, Julian Savea, scored a hat-trick; defensively England were overrun in the first-half of a game they had spoken about winning. They eventually lost 36-13 and Stuart Lancaster has not felt compelled to call on Ashton since.

Watching Semesa Rokoduguni, Jonny May, Anthony Watson and Jack Nowell – not to mention Marland Yarde and Christian Wade in the Saxons – pull on the red rose instead has been tough for the speedy Saracen. Recently he compared losing his Test place to “having an arm and leg ripped off” and says he has found recent months particularly problematic: “The difficult stage is the Six Nations … because you are a sideshow to the main event going on at Twickenham.

“That is the hard part – trying to keep your head in it then. I wouldn’t like to say I am used to it now but you do get used to watching other people play for England. It does get easier but it doesn’t mean my desire is any less. When anything you’ve had for a long time gets taken away then it’s sore. It’s difficult to take but as you get older you understand [what to do] a little more. Before I would have taken it very badly and gone about it in all the wrong ways.”

Instead Ashton has reacted the way any coach would admire, by knuckling down and scoring regularly. It was an open secret the England management felt his defence, back-field positioning and kicking all had to improve; top sides had begun to lick their lips. His Saracens director of rugby, Mark McCall, believes he has tightened up all those areas of his game significantly, as well as rediscovering the poacher’s instinct which was once his calling card.

His beautifully-judged chip-and-chase try against Harlequins at Wembley last weekend was a neat illustration. Together with his fleet-footed partner, David Strettle, he has been consistently supplying the sharpest of cutting edges and contributing right across the field, despite equalling Delon Armitage’s record last weekend for the most yellow cards received in the Premiership.

“For a long time I just thought: ‘Oh, I scored three tries there, nothing else matters,’” says Ashton. “Slowly as you get older – and teams figure out your weaknesses – you realise you have stuff to work on all the time. It has just been a case of improving my all-round game, rather than just being worried about scoring.”

The ever-optimistic example set by Strettle, another discarded England wing with a point to prove, has also rubbed off. “Stret will believe – and I know he believes – he is as good or better than any of the wingers who are in there at the moment,” Ashton says. “But he will never focus on what has happened, he’ll focus on what can happen and getting back in there. I think that’s the right way to go about it.”

So what happens next? Given Ashton registered 19 tries in 39 England appearances – and finished equal top try-scorer in the 2011 World Cup – it was interesting to hear McCall claim he is a better player now than in his “Ash-Splashing” heyday. Ashton has certainly grown up – the show-boating dial has definitely been turned down – and he is acutely aware the next few weeks could shape the remainder of his career.

Because if he keeps scoring in big matches, such as Saracens’ quarter-final against Racing Métro on Sunday, he knows a place in England’s extended World Cup squad of 45 may yet materialise. “Ultimately it comes down to what happens in these last few games. If you get into semi-finals and finals you’ll be playing in games which are replicating international intensity.

“People – and even Stu[art Lancaster] for that matter – can think whatever they think. But if I’m playing well and you’re making it hard to miss what you’re doing … that’s my goal. Then, if you get back in, you can change people’s perceptions if they’re negative in any way.”

It will not be straightforward for him this weekend, however. If ever there was a fly-half equipped to hoist challenging high balls in his direction it is Racing’s Johnny Sexton, with a pack of pedigree Parisian hounds in hot pursuit. “If they think they need to do that to stop us running then I’m up for the challenge,” retorts Ashton, cheerfully. “I don’t know if Racing’s chase will be as good as Ireland’s but I wouldn’t expect anything less.”

Nor does it bother him that England’s coaches have yet to be in touch. If, or when, Lancaster does ring, he will find a wiser, more self-aware athlete than the one he dropped.

“Everyone in the England squad has an X-factor. You can’t have one thing that’s amazing and one thing that’s right down,” Ashton says. “It’s got to be pretty steady across the board. That’s what drives me on – to get back in with England and win trophies here.”

The resurrection man still believes in himself, whatever anyone else thinks.