Four things we've learned from the weekend's TV – from Poldorks to beards
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Version 0 of 1. Burn your clothing after being exposed to stinky gangrene “Whose business is it where my eye delights?” Indeed. So let’s stop all this silliness about Poldark and sexism right here. It’s not wrong to go batty at the sight of a split-second view of the Captain’s back (BBC1, Sunday). Such glimpses merely exist to demonstrate that the Captain is not as other men. There is no shame in being a weak-at-the-knees Poldork. Especially when the one of the other things we were required to gaze upon was some seriously stinky gangrene. Main observation: it all seems to have got a bit slow and a bit muddled at the same time. But the character relationships sustain this piece, along with some flashes of knowing humour. Not those kind of flashes, fellow Poldorks, calm down. The brinksmanship of the card game meanwhile was electric. Related: Poldark gets second series after ratings help BBC1 to 10-year high Always season your prawn and clean your carrot The weekend afforded two MasterChef outings. On Friday nine contestants remained, some of them having survived a savaging by Monica “Terminator” Galleti. My idea of cooking something easy is Marmite on toast. On MasterChef (BBC1, Friday, Sunday), someone’s idea of “staying within the comfort zone” was a pan-fried duck breast with a za’atar crust. What is, however, recklessly dangerous? Serving fish with orange, apparently. And all this before Sunday’s semi-final warmup relay edition. Brutal. Great TV. All that was missing was the Gladiators referee who used to say: “Contenders, you will go on my first whistle.” You didn’t even know what you were supposed to be cooking. Crazy Moustache Man’s eyebrow went into orbit. But why on earth didn’t anyone go home? What was the point? Early tip for victory? Simon. “We might as well all go home now,” said one of his rivals. But on Sunday he didn’t clean the solitary carrot correctly. Scandal! And on Friday he forgot to season his prawn. (Not a euphemism.) He will almost certainly take the crown, though, not least by making everyone else physically sick with how perfect he is. Best thing about MasterChef? It features a person (Gregg) who has made an entire career out of really liking pudding a lot. That is some kind of talent in itself. And let’s not forget the real reason to tune in: Sexy Voice Lady, AKA unsung voiceover goddess India Fisher. Graham Norton is secretly an evil monster Not really. But it was interesting to see Stanley Tucci admit that Norton was the model (or at least part of the model) for the monstrous character of Caesar Flickerman in The Hunger Games (BBC1, Friday). This evening’s show displayed exactly why. If you were a Hollywood star preparing to method-act the Ultimate Chatshow Host, you would call in loads of Graham Norton footage. He’s just the daddy of this stuff, kidding us all that we’re all at some fun party where people just happen to throw in a mention of their latest book/film/show. The newly bearded Norton is as at ease ridiculing Czech women for their weird flagellatory Easter practices as he is coaxing Kim Cattrall to bust out her scouse accent. Next to him, Flickerman is Partridge. Bearded children should present all television programmes Here’s a new BBC idea. When you run out of presenters because they have lamped an Irishman in protest at the non-provision of steak, roll out a bearded child. Daniel Radcliffe was charming and genial on Have I Got News For You (Friday, BBC1), sending himself up by referencing his favourite spell (“glamorous imperatrix”). Armando Iannucci’s creepy staring-into-the-camera was genius. The bonus buzzer music was terrifying. And Cheryl Fernandez-Versini’s manshadow was rightly judged to be exceedingly sinister. A bumper edition, enhanced by the comfortable, self-effacing confidence of Radcliffe and endless irresistible numpty-ism during the pre-election period, not least the Lib Dems’ battle bus having a lighting system featuring “disco mode”. Also of note: Diane Morgan (a female woman, something rarely witnessed on this programme) was excellent. |