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| Version 0 | Version 1 |
|---|---|
| Football clockwatch: Premier League, Football League and more – as it happened | Football clockwatch: Premier League, Football League and more – as it happened |
| (18 days later) | |
| 5.12pm BST | |
| 17:12 | |
| And that’s yer lot. What a frantic day. The Football League is bloody brilliant. | And that’s yer lot. What a frantic day. The Football League is bloody brilliant. |
| Cheers for reading, now you have a choice; you can either join Barry Glendenning for the super-duper top o’ the table clash between Chelsea and Manchester United... | Cheers for reading, now you have a choice; you can either join Barry Glendenning for the super-duper top o’ the table clash between Chelsea and Manchester United... |
| ...or keep Scott Murray company for the FA Cup semi-final between Arsenal and Reading. | ...or keep Scott Murray company for the FA Cup semi-final between Arsenal and Reading. |
| Or both. Go for it. I’m not your dad. | Or both. Go for it. I’m not your dad. |
| Whatever you choose, stay safe kids. And be nice to each other. | Whatever you choose, stay safe kids. And be nice to each other. |
| 5.10pm BST | |
| 17:10 | |
| League Two full-times | League Two full-times |
| See the updated table here. | See the updated table here. |
| Updated | |
| at 5.16pm BST | |
| 5.08pm BST | |
| 17:08 | |
| League One full-times | League One full-times |
| See the updated table here. | See the updated table here. |
| Updated | |
| at 5.16pm BST | |
| 5.07pm BST | |
| 17:07 | |
| Championship full-times | Championship full-times |
| See the updated table here. | See the updated table here. |
| Updated | |
| at 5.16pm BST | |
| 5.03pm BST | |
| 17:03 | |
| Full-time at Dean Court there, and the Bournemouth players look crushed, as their fans accuse the referee of being more interested in onanism than officiating. Bournemouth 2-2 Sheffield Wednesday. | Full-time at Dean Court there, and the Bournemouth players look crushed, as their fans accuse the referee of being more interested in onanism than officiating. Bournemouth 2-2 Sheffield Wednesday. |
| 5.01pm BST | |
| 17:01 | |
| GOAL! Chris Maguire scores for Wednesday to surely rip two points from the Cherries’ grasp, which puts them second in the table and Watford top. Middlesbrough and Bournemouth are level on 84 points, Watford two ahead on 86. | GOAL! Chris Maguire scores for Wednesday to surely rip two points from the Cherries’ grasp, which puts them second in the table and Watford top. Middlesbrough and Bournemouth are level on 84 points, Watford two ahead on 86. |
| 4.59pm BST | |
| 16:59 | |
| PENALTY AT BOURNEMOUTH! | PENALTY AT BOURNEMOUTH! |
| Sheffield Wednesday have a chance to make it 2-2... | Sheffield Wednesday have a chance to make it 2-2... |
| 4.58pm BST | |
| 16:58 | |
| In the Conference, Dover and Bristol Rovers have drawn 1-1, which means Barnet, who themselves drew 1-1 with Kidderminster, go into the final day of the season atop the table by a single point. | In the Conference, Dover and Bristol Rovers have drawn 1-1, which means Barnet, who themselves drew 1-1 with Kidderminster, go into the final day of the season atop the table by a single point. |
| 4.57pm BST | |
| 16:57 | |
| Bristol City are League One champions | Bristol City are League One champions |
| And there it is. Fans flood onto the pitch, skipping gaily past some grasping stewards, as Bristol City secure the point they needed to confirm the League One title. | And there it is. Fans flood onto the pitch, skipping gaily past some grasping stewards, as Bristol City secure the point they needed to confirm the League One title. |
| 4.55pm BST | |
| 16:55 | |
| Premier League full-times | Premier League full-times |
| 4.54pm BST | |
| 16:54 | |
| GOAL! Barcelona 2-0 Valencia (Messi 90) | GOAL! Barcelona 2-0 Valencia (Messi 90) |
| That’s three points for Barca, and 400 goals for the club by Leo Messi, as he converts a rebound from his own shot. Decent, him. | That’s three points for Barca, and 400 goals for the club by Leo Messi, as he converts a rebound from his own shot. Decent, him. |
| Updated | |
| at 5.03pm BST | |
| 4.52pm BST | |
| 16:52 | |
| Quite a good - if utterly irrelevant - game at Ewood Park too. It’s been back and forth, but Michail Antonio has just bagged his second to make it Blackburn 3-3 Forest. | Quite a good - if utterly irrelevant - game at Ewood Park too. It’s been back and forth, but Michail Antonio has just bagged his second to make it Blackburn 3-3 Forest. |
| 4.51pm BST | |
| 16:51 | |
| Crivens! Bournemouth are down to ten men, after Simon Francis is dismissed, but they’re now 2-1 up and heading for the top of the table after Matt Ritchie belts one in from way out. As it stands the Cherries are top on 86 points, ahead of Watford on 85, Boro on 84 and Norwich on 82. | Crivens! Bournemouth are down to ten men, after Simon Francis is dismissed, but they’re now 2-1 up and heading for the top of the table after Matt Ritchie belts one in from way out. As it stands the Cherries are top on 86 points, ahead of Watford on 85, Boro on 84 and Norwich on 82. |
| 4.49pm BST | |
| 16:49 | |
| Eeeek, things contracting even further at the bottom of League One, as Walsall equalise at Crewe. | Eeeek, things contracting even further at the bottom of League One, as Walsall equalise at Crewe. |
| 4.48pm BST | |
| 16:48 | |
| GOAL! Leicester 2-0 Swansea (King ) | GOAL! Leicester 2-0 Swansea (King ) |
| And that looks like three wins on the spin and an unlikely survival bid for Leicester, as Andy King gobbles up the rebound after Lukasz Fabianski spills an Esteban Cambiasso free-kick. As it stands Leicester will be level on 28 points with Hull, and only one back from them on goal-difference too. | And that looks like three wins on the spin and an unlikely survival bid for Leicester, as Andy King gobbles up the rebound after Lukasz Fabianski spills an Esteban Cambiasso free-kick. As it stands Leicester will be level on 28 points with Hull, and only one back from them on goal-difference too. |
| Updated | |
| at 5.23pm BST | |
| 4.47pm BST | |
| 16:47 | |
| Haven’t really mentioned it as it’s a) inevitable and b) doesn’t really matter, but as things stand with their 0-0 draw against Coventry, Bristol City will be League One champions. | Haven’t really mentioned it as it’s a) inevitable and b) doesn’t really matter, but as things stand with their 0-0 draw against Coventry, Bristol City will be League One champions. |
| 4.43pm BST | |
| 16:43 | |
| Ooof. A quick turnaround in Colchester, where the second-bottom side have come from a goal down to lead 2-1 over Scunthorpe, meaning that if results stay as they are they will join Notts County (losing to Crawley) and Leyton Orient (now 6-1 down to MK Dons) on 47 points. A right twitcher at the bottom there. | Ooof. A quick turnaround in Colchester, where the second-bottom side have come from a goal down to lead 2-1 over Scunthorpe, meaning that if results stay as they are they will join Notts County (losing to Crawley) and Leyton Orient (now 6-1 down to MK Dons) on 47 points. A right twitcher at the bottom there. |
| 4.42pm BST | |
| 16:42 | |
| SERIOUSLY, WHAT A GAME AT HUDDERSFIELD! | SERIOUSLY, WHAT A GAME AT HUDDERSFIELD! |
| It’s now 4-4 (Four-Four), as Tom Ince has netted the eighth goal of that particular encounter to draw Derby level. Still ten minutes left of that one. | It’s now 4-4 (Four-Four), as Tom Ince has netted the eighth goal of that particular encounter to draw Derby level. Still ten minutes left of that one. |
| Updated | |
| at 4.55pm BST | |
| 4.41pm BST | |
| 16:41 | |
| Wigan are keeping their heads just about above water, with Marc Antoine Fortune or James Perch (accounts differ...because they look exactly alike...) putting them 2-1 up over Brighton, meaning they will not be going down. Today. | Wigan are keeping their heads just about above water, with Marc Antoine Fortune or James Perch (accounts differ...because they look exactly alike...) putting them 2-1 up over Brighton, meaning they will not be going down. Today. |
| 4.40pm BST | |
| 16:40 | |
| GOAL! Stoke 2-1 Southampton (Adam 84) | GOAL! Stoke 2-1 Southampton (Adam 84) |
| And the Potters are ahead, with Charlie Adam scoring, hitting the ball into the ground and it looping over the keeper to make it 2-1/ | And the Potters are ahead, with Charlie Adam scoring, hitting the ball into the ground and it looping over the keeper to make it 2-1/ |
| 4.39pm BST | |
| 16:39 | |
| The 2.30 kick-offs are all done in Germany, and here are the full-times: | The 2.30 kick-offs are all done in Germany, and here are the full-times: |
| Updated | |
| at 4.47pm BST | |
| 4.36pm BST | |
| 16:36 | |
| And speaking of comebacks, a big goal down at Dean Court, as Yann Kermorgant draws Bournemouth level against Sheffield Wednesday. | And speaking of comebacks, a big goal down at Dean Court, as Yann Kermorgant draws Bournemouth level against Sheffield Wednesday. |
| ALSO! Mark Davies has made it Brentford 2-2 Bolton. They really needed a win in this one to have a proper chance of getting into the playoffs. | ALSO! Mark Davies has made it Brentford 2-2 Bolton. They really needed a win in this one to have a proper chance of getting into the playoffs. |
| 4.35pm BST | |
| 16:35 | |
| WHAT A GAME IN HUDDERSFIELD! After letting a 3-1 lead slip, Chris Powell’s men are now 4-3 up over Derby, with Nahki Wells putting the Terriers ahead. | WHAT A GAME IN HUDDERSFIELD! After letting a 3-1 lead slip, Chris Powell’s men are now 4-3 up over Derby, with Nahki Wells putting the Terriers ahead. |
| 4.33pm BST | |
| 16:33 | |
| A cacophony of incompetence at the bottom of League Two. Cheltenham are now 2-0 down to Northampton, while Luton have bagged a third against Hartlepool. As you were at the foot of the Football League, then. And by that I of course mean ‘they’re all rubbish.’ | A cacophony of incompetence at the bottom of League Two. Cheltenham are now 2-0 down to Northampton, while Luton have bagged a third against Hartlepool. As you were at the foot of the Football League, then. And by that I of course mean ‘they’re all rubbish.’ |
| 4.30pm BST | |
| 16:30 | |
| THE ORIENT COMEBACK IS ON. | THE ORIENT COMEBACK IS ON. |
| Well, maybe. They’ve pulled one back at MK Dons, through Jay Simpson. Just the 5-1 now, then. | Well, maybe. They’ve pulled one back at MK Dons, through Jay Simpson. Just the 5-1 now, then. |
| 4.29pm BST | |
| 16:29 | |
| Tranmere look pretty doomed. Kemar Roofe has made it 3-0 to Oxford, although of course the two teams above them are both losing. Still, doesn’t look good for them. | Tranmere look pretty doomed. Kemar Roofe has made it 3-0 to Oxford, although of course the two teams above them are both losing. Still, doesn’t look good for them. |
| 4.24pm BST | |
| 16:24 | |
| Update from Scotland, courtesy of Simon McMahon: “An offside mis-hit deflection has given Aberdeen the lead against Dundee United, whose hot unbeaten streak looks like ending at 1 game. In the Scottish Championship Queen of the South and Rangers lead against Alloa and Dumbarton respectively, meaning a good day for the Blue Brazil of Cowdenbeath, who are not even playing.” | Update from Scotland, courtesy of Simon McMahon: “An offside mis-hit deflection has given Aberdeen the lead against Dundee United, whose hot unbeaten streak looks like ending at 1 game. In the Scottish Championship Queen of the South and Rangers lead against Alloa and Dumbarton respectively, meaning a good day for the Blue Brazil of Cowdenbeath, who are not even playing.” |
| 4.23pm BST | |
| 16:23 | |
| Another goal for Burton, who could be promoted today if Portsmouth equalise against Bury. Lucas Akins gets the second at Morcambe, as he did the first. | Another goal for Burton, who could be promoted today if Portsmouth equalise against Bury. Lucas Akins gets the second at Morcambe, as he did the first. |
| 4.22pm BST | |
| 16:22 | |
| And the Derby comeback is complete! Lovely stuff from the Rams, as Jesse Lingard makes it Huddersfield 3-3 Derby. Not been boring at Pride Park or whatever it’s called this season. | And the Derby comeback is complete! Lovely stuff from the Rams, as Jesse Lingard makes it Huddersfield 3-3 Derby. Not been boring at Pride Park or whatever it’s called this season. |
| 4.21pm BST | |
| 16:21 | |
| Nervy times for Middlesbrough players after their win last night... | Nervy times for Middlesbrough players after their win last night... |
| @Clayts15 pacing up and down like an absolute possessed lunatic listening to Gillette Soccer Special😂 #relax #NERVES pic.twitter.com/xxcCMOubz7 | @Clayts15 pacing up and down like an absolute possessed lunatic listening to Gillette Soccer Special😂 #relax #NERVES pic.twitter.com/xxcCMOubz7 |
| 4.20pm BST | |
| 16:20 | |
| Blimey. MK Dons 5-0 Leyton Orient. Rob Hall with another. Blimey. Crawley are still beating Notts County, meaning as it stands Orient and Notts are in the relegation zone. | Blimey. MK Dons 5-0 Leyton Orient. Rob Hall with another. Blimey. Crawley are still beating Notts County, meaning as it stands Orient and Notts are in the relegation zone. |
| 4.17pm BST | |
| 16:17 | |
| Life gets a little easier for Tranmere, despite them trailing, as Cheltenham - currently just a point above them - are losing to Northampton, Ivan Toney with the goal. | Life gets a little easier for Tranmere, despite them trailing, as Cheltenham - currently just a point above them - are losing to Northampton, Ivan Toney with the goal. |
| 4.16pm BST | |
| 16:16 | |
| “As a Liverpool fan I’d like to apologise to Derby,” writes Ian Copestake. “Am sure they have missed the dynamic Ibe (as have we).” | “As a Liverpool fan I’d like to apologise to Derby,” writes Ian Copestake. “Am sure they have missed the dynamic Ibe (as have we).” |
| 4.15pm BST | |
| 16:15 | |
| Huge goal at the top of the Championship, and it’s a belter, too. Watford are 1-0 up with a magnificent overhead kick by Craig Cathcart, acrobatically belting home from an Ikechi Anya cross. At the bottom of the table, Dale Stephens has equalised for Brighton at Wigan - the Latics will be down if it stays like that. | Huge goal at the top of the Championship, and it’s a belter, too. Watford are 1-0 up with a magnificent overhead kick by Craig Cathcart, acrobatically belting home from an Ikechi Anya cross. At the bottom of the table, Dale Stephens has equalised for Brighton at Wigan - the Latics will be down if it stays like that. |
| Updated | |
| at 4.27pm BST | |
| 4.13pm BST | |
| 16:13 | |
| Is the comeback on? All kicking off at Huddersfield, where Simon Dawkins has pulled on back for Derby, making it 3-2 to the home side. | Is the comeback on? All kicking off at Huddersfield, where Simon Dawkins has pulled on back for Derby, making it 3-2 to the home side. |
| 4.13pm BST | |
| 16:13 | |
| Couple of goals down in League Two - at the top (ish) Plymouth are now 2-0 down to Carlisle, while two quick goals have put bottom side Tranmere 2-0 down against Oxford United - Kemar Roofe with the first, Danny Rose the second. | Couple of goals down in League Two - at the top (ish) Plymouth are now 2-0 down to Carlisle, while two quick goals have put bottom side Tranmere 2-0 down against Oxford United - Kemar Roofe with the first, Danny Rose the second. |
| 4.11pm BST | |
| 16:11 | |
| GOAL! Crystal Palace 0-2 West Brom (Gardner 53) | GOAL! Crystal Palace 0-2 West Brom (Gardner 53) |
| Woof! Craig Gardner doubles the Baggies’ lead with a rip-snorter from way, way out, and that should probably quiet any fears of relegation for Tony Pulis’s men. | Woof! Craig Gardner doubles the Baggies’ lead with a rip-snorter from way, way out, and that should probably quiet any fears of relegation for Tony Pulis’s men. |
| 4.10pm BST | |
| 16:10 | |
| Another goal for Borussia Dortmund, and Shinji Kagawa has made it 3-0 over Paderborn. Possible I could’ve missed the second. Sorry. Pierre Emerick Aubameyang scored that one. | Another goal for Borussia Dortmund, and Shinji Kagawa has made it 3-0 over Paderborn. Possible I could’ve missed the second. Sorry. Pierre Emerick Aubameyang scored that one. |
| Updated | |
| at 4.21pm BST | |
| 4.05pm BST | |
| 16:05 | |
| GOAL! Stoke 1-1 Southampton (Diouf 47) | GOAL! Stoke 1-1 Southampton (Diouf 47) |
| And they haven’t wasted any time at the Britannia, as Mame Biram Diouf has equalised, slotting home after Kelvin Davis did an iffy job of palming out a Stephen Nzonzi shot. | And they haven’t wasted any time at the Britannia, as Mame Biram Diouf has equalised, slotting home after Kelvin Davis did an iffy job of palming out a Stephen Nzonzi shot. |
| 4.03pm BST | |
| 16:03 | |
| All the Championship half-times... | All the Championship half-times... |
| ...and League One... | ...and League One... |
| ...and League Two. | ...and League Two. |
| Updated | |
| at 4.07pm BST | |
| 3.59pm BST | |
| 15:59 | |
| Update from the glaring sun... | Update from the glaring sun... |
| Nervy first half from Bournemouth, who haven't really got into their stride. Wednesday going for it and lead 1-0 at the break. | Nervy first half from Bournemouth, who haven't really got into their stride. Wednesday going for it and lead 1-0 at the break. |
| 3.51pm BST | |
| 15:51 | |
| Pretty big goal in League Two, as Ryan Lowe gives Bury a 1-0 lead over Portsmouth. That keeps the Shakers snapping at the heels of Wycombe, two points back with a game in hand (as things stand). Wycombe are currently drawing 0-0 with AFC Wimbledon. | Pretty big goal in League Two, as Ryan Lowe gives Bury a 1-0 lead over Portsmouth. That keeps the Shakers snapping at the heels of Wycombe, two points back with a game in hand (as things stand). Wycombe are currently drawing 0-0 with AFC Wimbledon. |
| 3.50pm BST | |
| 15:50 | |
| Oy very, it’s all going down the toilet for Derby now, as Reece James has scored, and not only has Reece James scored, but he’s scored in the 47th minute of the first half, and not only has Reece James scored in the 47th minute of the first half, Reece James scored in the 47th minute of the first half direct from a corner. | Oy very, it’s all going down the toilet for Derby now, as Reece James has scored, and not only has Reece James scored, but he’s scored in the 47th minute of the first half, and not only has Reece James scored in the 47th minute of the first half, Reece James scored in the 47th minute of the first half direct from a corner. |
| 3.48pm BST | |
| 15:48 | |
| Premier League half-time scores | Premier League half-time scores |
| Updated | |
| at 3.54pm BST | |
| 3.48pm BST | |
| 15:48 | |
| RED CARD FOR BURNLEY | RED CARD FOR BURNLEY |
| Well, it’s all going a bit wrong for Sean Dyche’s men. Ashley Barnes has been sent off for a second yellow card, and their players surround the ref as they go off at the break. | Well, it’s all going a bit wrong for Sean Dyche’s men. Ashley Barnes has been sent off for a second yellow card, and their players surround the ref as they go off at the break. |
| Updated | |
| at 4.02pm BST | |
| 3.45pm BST | |
| 15:45 | |
| John Archdeacon’s had a little think: “Actually, on sober reflection, the Saints could just finish 8th in which case the offending comments would be wholly justified. I consider myself self-admonished. John, no longer offended.” | John Archdeacon’s had a little think: “Actually, on sober reflection, the Saints could just finish 8th in which case the offending comments would be wholly justified. I consider myself self-admonished. John, no longer offended.” |
| 3.45pm BST | |
| 15:45 | |
| And just as quickly as they are pegged back, Brentford are back in front, 2-1 up now courtesy of Jonathan Douglas. | And just as quickly as they are pegged back, Brentford are back in front, 2-1 up now courtesy of Jonathan Douglas. |
| 3.43pm BST | |
| 15:43 | |
| And it’s all going wrong for Derby, as Mark Hudson puts Huddersfield 2-1 up over them. Meanwhile, Adam Le Fondre has equalised for Bolton at Brentford. | And it’s all going wrong for Derby, as Mark Hudson puts Huddersfield 2-1 up over them. Meanwhile, Adam Le Fondre has equalised for Bolton at Brentford. |
| 3.41pm BST | |
| 15:41 | |
| Borussia Dortmund have managed to see the goal through the Kloppo-inspired tears, and have taken the lead over Paderborn. Henrikh Mkhitaryan with the headed goal. | Borussia Dortmund have managed to see the goal through the Kloppo-inspired tears, and have taken the lead over Paderborn. Henrikh Mkhitaryan with the headed goal. |
| 3.40pm BST | |
| 15:40 | |
| Eesh. Mk Dons 4-0 Leyton Orient. Rob Hall with the goal. Eesh. | Eesh. Mk Dons 4-0 Leyton Orient. Rob Hall with the goal. Eesh. |
| 3.39pm BST | |
| 15:39 | |
| Bournemouth’s bubble has been pricked ever so slightly, as Kieran Lee has given Sheffield Wednesday the lead over the Championship leaders. Meanwhile, the boy Alex Pritchard, on loan from Spurs, looks a bit special, and he’s given Brentford the lead over Bolton, keeping their playoff hopes just about alive, while Huddersfield have made it 1-1 against Derby through Oscar Gobern. | Bournemouth’s bubble has been pricked ever so slightly, as Kieran Lee has given Sheffield Wednesday the lead over the Championship leaders. Meanwhile, the boy Alex Pritchard, on loan from Spurs, looks a bit special, and he’s given Brentford the lead over Bolton, keeping their playoff hopes just about alive, while Huddersfield have made it 1-1 against Derby through Oscar Gobern. |
| 3.37pm BST | |
| 15:37 | |
| John Archdeacon is OFFENDED. A bit. Well, not really. He sounds quite nice: “Errrrr, Nick. You naughty man. Stoke are certainly mid-table... And I may just be a sensitive soul, but a goal that could put Southampton 5th, with an unlikely and very outside-punt at getting a run in the Big Cup, doesn’t really count as “upper mid table does it?” Yours, John, a mildly offended, sensitive Saints fan.” | John Archdeacon is OFFENDED. A bit. Well, not really. He sounds quite nice: “Errrrr, Nick. You naughty man. Stoke are certainly mid-table... And I may just be a sensitive soul, but a goal that could put Southampton 5th, with an unlikely and very outside-punt at getting a run in the Big Cup, doesn’t really count as “upper mid table does it?” Yours, John, a mildly offended, sensitive Saints fan.” |
| 3.35pm BST | |
| 15:35 | |
| All kicking off in Spain... | All kicking off in Spain... |
| More mayhem in Barca defence, Alcacer can swivel and shoot 15 yards out, and hits post with Bravo well beaten. | More mayhem in Barca defence, Alcacer can swivel and shoot 15 yards out, and hits post with Bravo well beaten. |
| Still 1-0 to Barca, though. | Still 1-0 to Barca, though. |
| 3.34pm BST | |
| 15:34 | |
| Burton could win promotion from League Two if results go their way, and they’re doing their part by taking the lead over Morecambe through Lucas Akins. They could replace Leyton Orient in League One, who are now 3-0 down to MK Dons, and/or Colchester, who are losing 1-0 to Scunthorpe. | Burton could win promotion from League Two if results go their way, and they’re doing their part by taking the lead over Morecambe through Lucas Akins. They could replace Leyton Orient in League One, who are now 3-0 down to MK Dons, and/or Colchester, who are losing 1-0 to Scunthorpe. |
| Updated | |
| at 3.34pm BST | |
| 3.31pm BST | |
| 15:31 | |
| Wigan will be relegated if they don’t win today, but they’re ahead so far, with Tim Chow putting them 1-0 up over Brighton. | Wigan will be relegated if they don’t win today, but they’re ahead so far, with Tim Chow putting them 1-0 up over Brighton. |
| 3.30pm BST | |
| 15:30 | |
| GOAL! Everton 1-0 Burnley (Mirallas 29) | GOAL! Everton 1-0 Burnley (Mirallas 29) |
| The scoring has been opened at Goodison, with the Belgian Darren Huckerby himself, Kevin Mirallas, having scored at the second attempt, having scuffed the first, firing home to give Burnley’s survival hopes a slap in the chops. | The scoring has been opened at Goodison, with the Belgian Darren Huckerby himself, Kevin Mirallas, having scored at the second attempt, having scuffed the first, firing home to give Burnley’s survival hopes a slap in the chops. |
| Updated | |
| at 3.43pm BST | |
| 3.28pm BST | |
| 15:28 | |
| Charles Antaki has his eyes on the Barca v Valencia match, which remains 1-0: “It’s all happening at the Camp Nou - misses, whacks, counter-attacks, fallings-over, more misses, more whacks, appalling defending, and amazingly no more goals yet. A matter of time.” | Charles Antaki has his eyes on the Barca v Valencia match, which remains 1-0: “It’s all happening at the Camp Nou - misses, whacks, counter-attacks, fallings-over, more misses, more whacks, appalling defending, and amazingly no more goals yet. A matter of time.” |
| 3.25pm BST | |
| 15:25 | |
| And there’s another - MK Dons are 2-0 up, with Will Grigg taking the credit. | And there’s another - MK Dons are 2-0 up, with Will Grigg taking the credit. |
| 3.24pm BST | |
| 15:24 | |
| Bad news for Leyton Orient, who are 1-0 down to MK Dons after Dean Bowditch opens the scoring among the concrete cows. No change at the top but Orient are in the bottom four as it stands. | Bad news for Leyton Orient, who are 1-0 down to MK Dons after Dean Bowditch opens the scoring among the concrete cows. No change at the top but Orient are in the bottom four as it stands. |
| 3.22pm BST | |
| 15:22 | |
| GOAL! Stoke 0-1 Southampton (Schneiderlin 22) | GOAL! Stoke 0-1 Southampton (Schneiderlin 22) |
| And in the biggie of the day, Morgan Schneiderlin seems to have bundled the ball over the line at the Britannia to give Southampton the lead in the vital scrap for honours in the upper mid-table of the Premier League. | And in the biggie of the day, Morgan Schneiderlin seems to have bundled the ball over the line at the Britannia to give Southampton the lead in the vital scrap for honours in the upper mid-table of the Premier League. |
| 3.21pm BST | |
| 15:21 | |
| Couple or three goals in the League One relegation scrap, as Crawley go 2-0 up over fellow strugglers Notts County through Kelly Youga and Darren Ward, while Crewe are 1-0 ahead over Walsall. | Couple or three goals in the League One relegation scrap, as Crawley go 2-0 up over fellow strugglers Notts County through Kelly Youga and Darren Ward, while Crewe are 1-0 ahead over Walsall. |
| 3.20pm BST | |
| 15:20 | |
| Derby look to be dispelling fears that they will slip out of the playoffs, taking the lead over Huddersfield through Tom Ince. | Derby look to be dispelling fears that they will slip out of the playoffs, taking the lead over Huddersfield through Tom Ince. |
| 3.18pm BST | |
| 15:18 | |
| In League Two, it looks like Shrewsbury are on their way straight back to League One, as Mark Ellis has given them a 1-0 lead over York, and if things stay as they are the Shrews will go top of the table. At the other end, it’s not getting any better for Hartlepool, who are now 2-0 down to Luton. | In League Two, it looks like Shrewsbury are on their way straight back to League One, as Mark Ellis has given them a 1-0 lead over York, and if things stay as they are the Shrews will go top of the table. At the other end, it’s not getting any better for Hartlepool, who are now 2-0 down to Luton. |
| 3.16pm BST | |
| 15:16 | |
| GOAL! Leicester 1-0 Swansea (Ulloa 15) | GOAL! Leicester 1-0 Swansea (Ulloa 15) |
| Well, well, well. Leicester had started well, and they’ve been given the lead by the man who wasn’t even going to start until just before the game. Leonardo Ulloa was only in the starting XI after David Nugent’s injury, and he’s given the Foxes the lead after smacking home Wes Morgan’s knock-down. | Well, well, well. Leicester had started well, and they’ve been given the lead by the man who wasn’t even going to start until just before the game. Leonardo Ulloa was only in the starting XI after David Nugent’s injury, and he’s given the Foxes the lead after smacking home Wes Morgan’s knock-down. |
| Updated | |
| at 3.41pm BST | |
| 3.15pm BST | |
| 15:15 | |
| VALENCIA PENALTY SAVED! | VALENCIA PENALTY SAVED! |
| And another! This time Valencia are given the chance to score from 12 after Gerard Pique fouls Rodrigo, but Dani Parejo’s effort is kept out by Claudio Bravo. | And another! This time Valencia are given the chance to score from 12 after Gerard Pique fouls Rodrigo, but Dani Parejo’s effort is kept out by Claudio Bravo. |
| 3.12pm BST | |
| 15:12 | |
| EVERTON PENALTY SAVED! | EVERTON PENALTY SAVED! |
| Everton are awarded a spot kick after Aaron Lennon is felled in the box, but curiously Ross Barkley steps up instead of Leighton Baines, and it’s saved by Burnley’s Tom Heaton. | Everton are awarded a spot kick after Aaron Lennon is felled in the box, but curiously Ross Barkley steps up instead of Leighton Baines, and it’s saved by Burnley’s Tom Heaton. |
| Updated | |
| at 3.23pm BST | |
| 3.11pm BST | |
| 15:11 | |
| The fans are turning on Massimo Cellino at Leeds, it seems... | The fans are turning on Massimo Cellino at Leeds, it seems... |
| Chants now of "sell the club and f*** off home." (SFW) | Chants now of "sell the club and f*** off home." (SFW) |
| The latest japes have been a selection of players mysteriously picking up injuries. Coincidentally, no connection to this at all, they all apparently have appearance-based bonuses in their contracts that are about to kick in... | The latest japes have been a selection of players mysteriously picking up injuries. Coincidentally, no connection to this at all, they all apparently have appearance-based bonuses in their contracts that are about to kick in... |
| 3.08pm BST | |
| 15:08 | |
| Bad news for Hartlepool, as their stalled recovery stalls further, falling behind to Luton, Cameron McGeehan opening the scoring in the fifth minute. As things stand Cheltenham will move out of the relegation zone by not doing a thing (sort of), for they’re drawing 0-0 with Northampton and have a better goal difference than the Pools. | Bad news for Hartlepool, as their stalled recovery stalls further, falling behind to Luton, Cameron McGeehan opening the scoring in the fifth minute. As things stand Cheltenham will move out of the relegation zone by not doing a thing (sort of), for they’re drawing 0-0 with Northampton and have a better goal difference than the Pools. |
| 3.05pm BST | |
| 15:05 | |
| GOAL! Barcelona 1-0 Valencia (Suarez 1) | GOAL! Barcelona 1-0 Valencia (Suarez 1) |
| Well they didn’t waste any time either, did they? Luis Suarez gets Barcelona underway in the first 60 seconds, polishing off a Leo Messi run with a driven right-footed finish. | Well they didn’t waste any time either, did they? Luis Suarez gets Barcelona underway in the first 60 seconds, polishing off a Leo Messi run with a driven right-footed finish. |
| Updated | |
| at 3.16pm BST | |
| 3.03pm BST | |
| 15:03 | |
| GOAL! Crystal Palace 0-1 West Brom (Morrison 2) | GOAL! Crystal Palace 0-1 West Brom (Morrison 2) |
| And we’re away, with the Baggies taking the lead in the Tony Pulis Demolition Derby, James Morrison the unlikely scorer with a back-post header from an early corner. More of this, please. | And we’re away, with the Baggies taking the lead in the Tony Pulis Demolition Derby, James Morrison the unlikely scorer with a back-post header from an early corner. More of this, please. |
| Updated | |
| at 3.28pm BST | |
| 3.02pm BST | |
| 15:02 | |
| Tying a couple of things in this here clocko together nicely, here’s Shourin Roy: | Tying a couple of things in this here clocko together nicely, here’s Shourin Roy: |
| “Did you know Jon Stewart was a soccer/football standout in his college days? His goal won them the 1983 Eastern Conference championship and an appearance in the NCAA finals. He was made an honorary All American in 2005 for his contribution to soccer. | “Did you know Jon Stewart was a soccer/football standout in his college days? His goal won them the 1983 Eastern Conference championship and an appearance in the NCAA finals. He was made an honorary All American in 2005 for his contribution to soccer. |
| “The College of William and Mary, his alma mater, awards the “Leibo” in honor of Stewart; it is given to the member of the men’s soccer team who experiences the most personal growth and provides the most laughs for his teammates.” | “The College of William and Mary, his alma mater, awards the “Leibo” in honor of Stewart; it is given to the member of the men’s soccer team who experiences the most personal growth and provides the most laughs for his teammates.” |
| 2.58pm BST | |
| 14:58 | |
| It’s still 0-0 there, by the way. As it is in all the Bundesliga games bar Bayer Leverkusen 1-0 Hannover. | It’s still 0-0 there, by the way. As it is in all the Bundesliga games bar Bayer Leverkusen 1-0 Hannover. |
| Updated | |
| at 3.01pm BST | |
| 2.56pm BST | |
| 14:56 | |
| Emotional scenes in Dortmund... | Emotional scenes in Dortmund... |
| Updated | |
| at 2.57pm BST | |
| 2.50pm BST | |
| 14:50 | |
| DRAMA at Leicester, where David Nugent has twanged something or other in the warm-up (a calf, according to The Internet), so Leonardo Ulloa will take his place in what for the moment we’ll call the Foxes ‘attack’. | DRAMA at Leicester, where David Nugent has twanged something or other in the warm-up (a calf, according to The Internet), so Leonardo Ulloa will take his place in what for the moment we’ll call the Foxes ‘attack’. |
| UPDATE: Late change to the #lcfc team as Leonardo Ulloa replaces the injured David Nugent. Tom Lawrence added to the bench. #LeiSwa | UPDATE: Late change to the #lcfc team as Leonardo Ulloa replaces the injured David Nugent. Tom Lawrence added to the bench. #LeiSwa |
| 2.44pm BST | |
| 14:44 | |
| This should be good... | This should be good... |
| Hello from Bournemouth. It's so sunny I can't see my laptop screen, so get ready for a great match report. pic.twitter.com/VhlQ7eO5BF | Hello from Bournemouth. It's so sunny I can't see my laptop screen, so get ready for a great match report. pic.twitter.com/VhlQ7eO5BF |
| 2.36pm BST | |
| 14:36 | |
| There’s also some pretty big Scottish football this weekend. Only one game in the Premiership (Aberdeen v Dundee United), but the first of the Scottish Cup semi-finals has just finished, and here’s Simon McMahon to update us on that... | There’s also some pretty big Scottish football this weekend. Only one game in the Premiership (Aberdeen v Dundee United), but the first of the Scottish Cup semi-finals has just finished, and here’s Simon McMahon to update us on that... |
| “Peter Houston has done it again. Manager of Dundee United when we won the Scottish Cup in 2010, he’ll be back at Hampden next month, this time with Falkirk who have beaten Hibs 1-0 in the first of this weekend’s Scottish Cup semis. They’ll play the winners of tomorrow’s Inverness v. Celtic tie. Todays league action sees high-flying Dundee United looking to extend their unbeaten run to two games as they travel to Pittodrie to face Aberdeen, and in the Scottish Championship the battle for promotion and relegation play-off places hots up as it’s Alloa v. Queen of the South and Dumbarton v. Rangers.” | “Peter Houston has done it again. Manager of Dundee United when we won the Scottish Cup in 2010, he’ll be back at Hampden next month, this time with Falkirk who have beaten Hibs 1-0 in the first of this weekend’s Scottish Cup semis. They’ll play the winners of tomorrow’s Inverness v. Celtic tie. Todays league action sees high-flying Dundee United looking to extend their unbeaten run to two games as they travel to Pittodrie to face Aberdeen, and in the Scottish Championship the battle for promotion and relegation play-off places hots up as it’s Alloa v. Queen of the South and Dumbarton v. Rangers.” |
| Updated | |
| at 2.42pm BST | |
| 2.34pm BST | |
| 14:34 | |
| Some pre-match reading, from Richard Williams on the Uruguayan writer Eduardo Galeano, who died this week aged 74... | Some pre-match reading, from Richard Williams on the Uruguayan writer Eduardo Galeano, who died this week aged 74... |
| He was widely mourned as a great historian and novelist but none of the obituaries failed to mention that he was also the author of Football in Sun and Shadow. First published in translation in 1997, it established itself as a firm favourite among a certain kind of reader of the game’s literature. | He was widely mourned as a great historian and novelist but none of the obituaries failed to mention that he was also the author of Football in Sun and Shadow. First published in translation in 1997, it established itself as a firm favourite among a certain kind of reader of the game’s literature. |
| He had been nine years old when Brazil suffered an earlier football trauma at the hands of his own compatriots in the 1950 World Cup final. “Like every other Uruguayan,” he wrote, “I was glued to the radio. When the voice of Carlos Solé broadcast the melancholy news of Brazil’s first goal, my heart sank to the floor. Then I turned to my most powerful friend. I promised God a heap of sacrifices if He would appear in the Maracanã and change the course of the game. | He had been nine years old when Brazil suffered an earlier football trauma at the hands of his own compatriots in the 1950 World Cup final. “Like every other Uruguayan,” he wrote, “I was glued to the radio. When the voice of Carlos Solé broadcast the melancholy news of Brazil’s first goal, my heart sank to the floor. Then I turned to my most powerful friend. I promised God a heap of sacrifices if He would appear in the Maracanã and change the course of the game. |
| “I never managed to remember all those promises, so I couldn’t keep them. Besides, although Uruguay’s victory was certainly a miracle, it was the work of a flesh-and-blood mortal named Obdulio Varela, who carried the entire team on his shoulders. At the end of the game, reporters surrounded the hero. Obdulio didn’t stick out his chest or boast about being the best. ‘It was one of those things,’ he murmured, shaking his head. And when they wanted to take his picture, he turned his back. | “I never managed to remember all those promises, so I couldn’t keep them. Besides, although Uruguay’s victory was certainly a miracle, it was the work of a flesh-and-blood mortal named Obdulio Varela, who carried the entire team on his shoulders. At the end of the game, reporters surrounded the hero. Obdulio didn’t stick out his chest or boast about being the best. ‘It was one of those things,’ he murmured, shaking his head. And when they wanted to take his picture, he turned his back. |
| “The next day he dodged the crowd at Montevideo airport, where his name hung in lights. In the midst of the euphoria he slipped away, dressed like Humphrey Bogart in a raincoat with the lapels turned up and a fedora pulled down to his nose. The top brass of Uruguayan football rewarded themselves with gold medals. They gave the players silver medals and some money. Obdulio’s prize money was enough to buy a 1931 Ford. It was stolen a week later.” | “The next day he dodged the crowd at Montevideo airport, where his name hung in lights. In the midst of the euphoria he slipped away, dressed like Humphrey Bogart in a raincoat with the lapels turned up and a fedora pulled down to his nose. The top brass of Uruguayan football rewarded themselves with gold medals. They gave the players silver medals and some money. Obdulio’s prize money was enough to buy a 1931 Ford. It was stolen a week later.” |
| 2.32pm BST | |
| 14:32 | |
| Lovely stuff... | Lovely stuff... |
| Albion regular Les James, 89, is one of the 2,600 Baggies fans at Selhurst Park this afternoon #wba #COYB pic.twitter.com/0WE89Wu7RO | Albion regular Les James, 89, is one of the 2,600 Baggies fans at Selhurst Park this afternoon #wba #COYB pic.twitter.com/0WE89Wu7RO |
| 2.28pm BST | |
| 14:28 | |
| Thoughts? | Thoughts? |
| 2.22pm BST | |
| 14:22 | |
| Barcelona v Valencia team news | Barcelona v Valencia team news |
| Bravo; Alves, Pique, Mathieu, Adriano; Busquets, Mascherano, Xavi; Messi, Suarez, Neymar. | Bravo; Alves, Pique, Mathieu, Adriano; Busquets, Mascherano, Xavi; Messi, Suarez, Neymar. |
| Barragan, Mustafi, Otamendi, Orban, Parejo, J.Fuego, Andre Gomes, Feghouli, Alcacer, Rodrigo. | Barragan, Mustafi, Otamendi, Orban, Parejo, J.Fuego, Andre Gomes, Feghouli, Alcacer, Rodrigo. |
| 2.11pm BST | |
| 14:11 | |
| It’s done in the Championship, and the final score is Wolves 1-1 Ipswich. That leaves Wolves three points off the playoffs, leaving things out of their hands, while Ipswich remain in sixth place. | It’s done in the Championship, and the final score is Wolves 1-1 Ipswich. That leaves Wolves three points off the playoffs, leaving things out of their hands, while Ipswich remain in sixth place. |
| 2.10pm BST | |
| 14:10 | |
| Premier League team news | Premier League team news |
| Crystal Palace v West Brom | Crystal Palace v West Brom |
| Speroni; Ward, Delaney, Dann, Ledley; Bolasie, Jedinak, McArthur, Zaha; Puncheon; Murray. Subs: Hennessey, Hangeland, Kelly, Souare, Ameobi, Gayle, Sanogo. | Speroni; Ward, Delaney, Dann, Ledley; Bolasie, Jedinak, McArthur, Zaha; Puncheon; Murray. Subs: Hennessey, Hangeland, Kelly, Souare, Ameobi, Gayle, Sanogo. |
| Myhill, Dawson, McAuley, Lescott, Brunt, Gardner, Fletcher, Yacob, Morrison, Berahino, Anichebe. Subs: Rose, Wisdom, Olsson, Baird, McManaman, Sessegnon, Ideye. | Myhill, Dawson, McAuley, Lescott, Brunt, Gardner, Fletcher, Yacob, Morrison, Berahino, Anichebe. Subs: Rose, Wisdom, Olsson, Baird, McManaman, Sessegnon, Ideye. |
| Everton v Burnley | Everton v Burnley |
| Howard, Baines, Jagielka, Stones, Coleman, Barry, McCarthy, Mirallas, Barkley, Lennon, Kone. Subs: Joel, McGeady, Lukaku, Naismith, Besic, Garbutt, Alcaraz. | Howard, Baines, Jagielka, Stones, Coleman, Barry, McCarthy, Mirallas, Barkley, Lennon, Kone. Subs: Joel, McGeady, Lukaku, Naismith, Besic, Garbutt, Alcaraz. |
| Heaton, Arfield, Shackell, Jones, Barnes, Mee, Arfield, Duff, Boyd, Trippier, Ings. Subs: Gilks, Wallace, Kightly, Taylor, Jutkiewicz, Ward, Keane. | Heaton, Arfield, Shackell, Jones, Barnes, Mee, Arfield, Duff, Boyd, Trippier, Ings. Subs: Gilks, Wallace, Kightly, Taylor, Jutkiewicz, Ward, Keane. |
| Leicester v Swansea | Leicester v Swansea |
| Schmeichel; Wasilewski, Huth, Morgan; Albrighton, King, Cambiasso, Schlupp; Nugent, Vardy, Kramarić. Subs: De Laet, Konchesky, Drinkwater, James, Ulloa, Mahrez, Schwarzer. | Schmeichel; Wasilewski, Huth, Morgan; Albrighton, King, Cambiasso, Schlupp; Nugent, Vardy, Kramarić. Subs: De Laet, Konchesky, Drinkwater, James, Ulloa, Mahrez, Schwarzer. |
| Fabianski, Rangel, Fernandez, Williams (c), Amat, Cork, Ki, Shelvey, Sigurdsson, Routledge, Oliveira. Subs: Tremmel, Bartley, Britton, Grimes, Montero, Dyer, Emnes. | Fabianski, Rangel, Fernandez, Williams (c), Amat, Cork, Ki, Shelvey, Sigurdsson, Routledge, Oliveira. Subs: Tremmel, Bartley, Britton, Grimes, Montero, Dyer, Emnes. |
| Stoke v Southampton | Stoke v Southampton |
| Begovic; Cameron, Shawcross, Wollscheid, Pieters; Nzonzi, Whelan; Walters, Ireland, Arnautovic; Diouf. Subs: Butland, Bardsley, Wilson, Adam, Sidwell, Teixeira, Crouch. | Begovic; Cameron, Shawcross, Wollscheid, Pieters; Nzonzi, Whelan; Walters, Ireland, Arnautovic; Diouf. Subs: Butland, Bardsley, Wilson, Adam, Sidwell, Teixeira, Crouch. |
| K. Davis, Clyne, Fonte, Alderweireld, Yoshida, Bertrand, Schneiderlin, S. Davis, Tadić, Mané, Pellè. Subs: Gazzaniga, Gardos, Long, Ward-Prowse, Elia, Reed, Targett. | K. Davis, Clyne, Fonte, Alderweireld, Yoshida, Bertrand, Schneiderlin, S. Davis, Tadić, Mané, Pellè. Subs: Gazzaniga, Gardos, Long, Ward-Prowse, Elia, Reed, Targett. |
| 2.01pm BST | |
| 14:01 | |
| If you’re not much interested in football, then you’re probably in the wrong place, but then perhaps Hadley Freeman’s interview with Jon Stewart might be more to your tastes. Of course, you’re still allowed to read if you are interested in football. Just, you know, come back here after. | If you’re not much interested in football, then you’re probably in the wrong place, but then perhaps Hadley Freeman’s interview with Jon Stewart might be more to your tastes. Of course, you’re still allowed to read if you are interested in football. Just, you know, come back here after. |
| At 52, Stewart has the bouncy energy of a man half his age and, unlike most in the public eye, has an aversion to compliments. If I tell him I liked something about the film, he will immediately deflect the compliment and insist it was all down to Bahari, or the film’s star Gael García Bernal, or the crew. For all the claims of his detractors that Stewart is the epitome of East Coast elitism, there is more self-deprecating New Jersey grit here than arrogant Manhattan elan. | At 52, Stewart has the bouncy energy of a man half his age and, unlike most in the public eye, has an aversion to compliments. If I tell him I liked something about the film, he will immediately deflect the compliment and insist it was all down to Bahari, or the film’s star Gael García Bernal, or the crew. For all the claims of his detractors that Stewart is the epitome of East Coast elitism, there is more self-deprecating New Jersey grit here than arrogant Manhattan elan. |
| Much as he might wince to hear it, for the past 16 years Stewart has occupied a place in America’s cultural and political life far greater than the small audience of his cable show would suggest. The Daily Show’s simple format consists of a mix of reports from roving reporters (who have included Steve Carell, Stephen Colbertand John Oliver), monologues delivered by Stewart and an end-of-show interview. Over time, Stewart has evolved from a satirist to a broadcaster celebrated as the voice of US liberalism, the one who will give the definitive progressive take on a story. | Much as he might wince to hear it, for the past 16 years Stewart has occupied a place in America’s cultural and political life far greater than the small audience of his cable show would suggest. The Daily Show’s simple format consists of a mix of reports from roving reporters (who have included Steve Carell, Stephen Colbertand John Oliver), monologues delivered by Stewart and an end-of-show interview. Over time, Stewart has evolved from a satirist to a broadcaster celebrated as the voice of US liberalism, the one who will give the definitive progressive take on a story. |
| 1.49pm BST | |
| 13:49 | |
| It remains 1-1 in the Championship at Molineux. Ipswich took the lead through a Richard Stearman own-goal, but as has been so often the case Wolves were dragged back from oblivion by Nouha Dicko. | It remains 1-1 in the Championship at Molineux. Ipswich took the lead through a Richard Stearman own-goal, but as has been so often the case Wolves were dragged back from oblivion by Nouha Dicko. |
| 1.24pm BST | |
| 13:24 | |
| Preamble | Preamble |
| So. Here we are. We find ourselves in this situation once more. Again, we have football to watch. Quite a bit of it, too. Now, you may think that, today being the day of the FA Cup semi-final between Arsenal and Reading and the big Premier League clash as Chelsea duke it out with Manchester United, that all the proper action is saved for later. Well oh no sir, think again madam, for there is plenty in football today to stir feelings you may have thought long-dead. ground down by the essential pointlessness of existence and crushing reality that only a very small percentage of us will ever really achieve our dreams and a decent number will die alone. | So. Here we are. We find ourselves in this situation once more. Again, we have football to watch. Quite a bit of it, too. Now, you may think that, today being the day of the FA Cup semi-final between Arsenal and Reading and the big Premier League clash as Chelsea duke it out with Manchester United, that all the proper action is saved for later. Well oh no sir, think again madam, for there is plenty in football today to stir feelings you may have thought long-dead. ground down by the essential pointlessness of existence and crushing reality that only a very small percentage of us will ever really achieve our dreams and a decent number will die alone. |
| Indeed, one could make a reasonable argument that the supposed ‘big’ Premier League match of the day is actually the least meaningful, given that Chelsea are probably going to win the league whatever happens later on at Stamford Bridge, and the most Manchester United are playing for is whether they finish second or third and forgive us dear reader if we don’t get all whooped-up about that prospect. | Indeed, one could make a reasonable argument that the supposed ‘big’ Premier League match of the day is actually the least meaningful, given that Chelsea are probably going to win the league whatever happens later on at Stamford Bridge, and the most Manchester United are playing for is whether they finish second or third and forgive us dear reader if we don’t get all whooped-up about that prospect. |
| Take Crystal Palace against West Brom, for example. Of course we have the obvious narrative of Tony Pulis wondering what could’ve been, playing the club he rescued from oblivion and plonked neatly in the warm blanket of mid-table by using little more than common-or-garden, genuine, real magic. But there’s also the very real notion that, against many of the odds, West Brom could be in some trouble, having been taken out back and given a thorough paddlin’ in their last three games, leaving them seven points from trouble with a good few of the teams below them showing some signs of life. And, as Paul Doyle wrote, there could be some slapstick enjoyment down the flanks... | Take Crystal Palace against West Brom, for example. Of course we have the obvious narrative of Tony Pulis wondering what could’ve been, playing the club he rescued from oblivion and plonked neatly in the warm blanket of mid-table by using little more than common-or-garden, genuine, real magic. But there’s also the very real notion that, against many of the odds, West Brom could be in some trouble, having been taken out back and given a thorough paddlin’ in their last three games, leaving them seven points from trouble with a good few of the teams below them showing some signs of life. And, as Paul Doyle wrote, there could be some slapstick enjoyment down the flanks... |
| Instead Pulis returns to Selhurst Park with his new team in trouble. West Brom have lost their last three matches and conceded 10 goals in the process, leaving Pulis with important questions to resolve. In particular, he needs to get his full-back selections right – if he sticks with Chris Brunt on the left and Craig Dawson on the right, then we can look forward to more thrilling capers from Yannick Bolasie. | Instead Pulis returns to Selhurst Park with his new team in trouble. West Brom have lost their last three matches and conceded 10 goals in the process, leaving Pulis with important questions to resolve. In particular, he needs to get his full-back selections right – if he sticks with Chris Brunt on the left and Craig Dawson on the right, then we can look forward to more thrilling capers from Yannick Bolasie. |
| One of those teams twitching like a goldfish you’ve just put in the toilet thinking it was dead, only for it to perk up just as you’re reaching for the flush, is Leicester. Drill Sergeant Nigel Pearson has clearly upped the ‘calling his squad worthless maggots and making them march up and down a disused airfield’ stakes of late, for they have won their last two games, against Wests Ham and Brom to move within a measly three points of safety. Three points that, as keen students of the game will have worked out, they can collect today with a win over Swansea. Burnley, too, who admittedly haven’t been collecting the magic tokens of the Premier League at the same lick, but have certainly been showing some bravado, spunk and joie de vivre in their performances that might suggest a surge up the table is not out of the question. That surge probably needs to start at Everton today, mind. | One of those teams twitching like a goldfish you’ve just put in the toilet thinking it was dead, only for it to perk up just as you’re reaching for the flush, is Leicester. Drill Sergeant Nigel Pearson has clearly upped the ‘calling his squad worthless maggots and making them march up and down a disused airfield’ stakes of late, for they have won their last two games, against Wests Ham and Brom to move within a measly three points of safety. Three points that, as keen students of the game will have worked out, they can collect today with a win over Swansea. Burnley, too, who admittedly haven’t been collecting the magic tokens of the Premier League at the same lick, but have certainly been showing some bravado, spunk and joie de vivre in their performances that might suggest a surge up the table is not out of the question. That surge probably needs to start at Everton today, mind. |
| And then there’s Stoke v Southampton and, erm, well, there’s...yeah...the thing that’s interesting about this one is...it’s actually quite an intriguing enco...hmmm, actually, no, you’re right, I’ve got nothing. The boy Doyle, super trouper that he is, had a little more imagination, though: | And then there’s Stoke v Southampton and, erm, well, there’s...yeah...the thing that’s interesting about this one is...it’s actually quite an intriguing enco...hmmm, actually, no, you’re right, I’ve got nothing. The boy Doyle, super trouper that he is, had a little more imagination, though: |
| Ronald Koeman claimed he left Nathaniel Clyne on the bench last week because the right-back was tired and not because of the stalled contract talks and mounting transfer speculation surrounding an excellent player. So it will be interesting to see whether the 24-year-old starts on Saturday. The uncertainty around Clyne offers a reminder of the upheaval Southampton endured last summer and, of course, of the splendid job done since then. Indeed, the team coped fine without Clyne last week, with Maya Yoshida looking assured in central defence as Toby Alderweireld manned the right-back slot. Whoever Koeman selects at the Britannia, surely all right-thinking folks will be hoping for a Southampton win? Nothing against Stoke, who have also been admirable this season, it is just that it would be heartening to see Saints gatecrash the top four and take a Champions League spot. A win this weekend could help tee up a mouthwatering showdown with Manchester City on the final day of the season. | Ronald Koeman claimed he left Nathaniel Clyne on the bench last week because the right-back was tired and not because of the stalled contract talks and mounting transfer speculation surrounding an excellent player. So it will be interesting to see whether the 24-year-old starts on Saturday. The uncertainty around Clyne offers a reminder of the upheaval Southampton endured last summer and, of course, of the splendid job done since then. Indeed, the team coped fine without Clyne last week, with Maya Yoshida looking assured in central defence as Toby Alderweireld manned the right-back slot. Whoever Koeman selects at the Britannia, surely all right-thinking folks will be hoping for a Southampton win? Nothing against Stoke, who have also been admirable this season, it is just that it would be heartening to see Saints gatecrash the top four and take a Champions League spot. A win this weekend could help tee up a mouthwatering showdown with Manchester City on the final day of the season. |
| That’s not all though, kids. It’s tighter than a duck’s bottom at the top of the Championship, and many of the key players are in action. As I type Ipswich and Wolves are at 1-1, but such is the nature of sport and indeed time, when you actually read this it might all be different. Middlesbrough clambered atop the division by besting Norwich with a fine defensive display last night, but Bournemouth could continue their utterly implausible dance towards promotion by beating Sheffield Wednesday today. Watford, who look the most stylish of the lot, face Birmingham and a victory will mos def put them in the automatic spots, and in the interests of aesthetics let’s hope that does happen. Derby have been clinging onto their playoff spot by their very fingernails, but should results go their way then they will assure themselves a place in the end of season bowel-looseners. They face Huddersfield, while Brentford, four points back from them in seventh, play Bolton. | That’s not all though, kids. It’s tighter than a duck’s bottom at the top of the Championship, and many of the key players are in action. As I type Ipswich and Wolves are at 1-1, but such is the nature of sport and indeed time, when you actually read this it might all be different. Middlesbrough clambered atop the division by besting Norwich with a fine defensive display last night, but Bournemouth could continue their utterly implausible dance towards promotion by beating Sheffield Wednesday today. Watford, who look the most stylish of the lot, face Birmingham and a victory will mos def put them in the automatic spots, and in the interests of aesthetics let’s hope that does happen. Derby have been clinging onto their playoff spot by their very fingernails, but should results go their way then they will assure themselves a place in the end of season bowel-looseners. They face Huddersfield, while Brentford, four points back from them in seventh, play Bolton. |
| There are permutations wide and varied in Leagues One and Two as well, including a particularly spicy relegation tussle in the former, where Yeovil are down but four teams - Crawley, Leyton Orient, Notts County and Crewe - are separated by a single point above them, with Colchester, three points back from that lot, are still in with a sniff too. Plus there’s Hartlepool’s revival in the bottom division, which has stalled slightly with two defeats and draws in their last four - they play Luton today. Barnet could seal promotion back to the football league from the Conference too, should they win and Bristol Rovers lose. | There are permutations wide and varied in Leagues One and Two as well, including a particularly spicy relegation tussle in the former, where Yeovil are down but four teams - Crawley, Leyton Orient, Notts County and Crewe - are separated by a single point above them, with Colchester, three points back from that lot, are still in with a sniff too. Plus there’s Hartlepool’s revival in the bottom division, which has stalled slightly with two defeats and draws in their last four - they play Luton today. Barnet could seal promotion back to the football league from the Conference too, should they win and Bristol Rovers lose. |
| And, if that wasn’t enough, there’s interest on the continent as well, notably Barcelona v Valencia, with Luis Enrique’s side looking to pull away from Real Madrid (in action tomorrow), while there could be emotion flying all over t’shop in Dortmund, where Jurgen Klopp will don his hoodie and baseball cap for the first time since announcing his departure, as his boys face Paderborn at home. Bayern Munich are playing too, but we’ll just leave you to assume that they’re winning by plenty unless told otherwise. | And, if that wasn’t enough, there’s interest on the continent as well, notably Barcelona v Valencia, with Luis Enrique’s side looking to pull away from Real Madrid (in action tomorrow), while there could be emotion flying all over t’shop in Dortmund, where Jurgen Klopp will don his hoodie and baseball cap for the first time since announcing his departure, as his boys face Paderborn at home. Bayern Munich are playing too, but we’ll just leave you to assume that they’re winning by plenty unless told otherwise. |
| Blimey. Lot of football that. Good, innit? | Blimey. Lot of football that. Good, innit? |
| Updated | |
| at 1.44pm BST | |
| 12.04pm BST | |
| 12:04 | |
| Nick will be here soon. | Nick will be here soon. |