The speed camera never lies

http://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2015/apr/26/speed-camera-never-lies-motoring-road-safety

Version 0 of 1.

Over the last five years, speeding convictions around Britain have gone up by nearly a half.

Why are we in so much more of a hurry than we were in 2010? Are we kinder, quicker to rush to the aid of a friend in need? Keener to arrive on time for all those fantastic new plays and films in our massively improved culture? Or simply proceeding faster due to our new, traffic-free and excellent-quality roads? Clearly not.

It seems likely that people aren’t actually speeding more, so much as being caught more. That being so, I’d like to speak up on behalf of a group that is never discussed when speeding is on the agenda: those of us who are breaking the law through stupidity alone. Until our considerable numbers are recognised, the obvious solutions will never be put in place.

This latest shock story of a 43% speeding rise is couched in the language of boy racers, Mr Toads, inveterate nose-thumbers at the law. The assumptions are of daredevil types racing about like the Dukes of Hazzard – heads full of mischief, boots full of moonshine – who found it easy to evade the slow-witted local sheriff, but are hamstrung by the invention of the speed camera.

From those assumptions, the world proceeds merrily on to debate whether the speed camera is an excellent thing (Zero tolerance! Firm clampdown! Nothing matters but the safety of kiddies!) or an evil robot of oppression (Big Brother! Civil Liberties! My old man drove everywhere at 100mph, pissed, never did me any harm!).

Hence, the proposed solutions to the “increase in speeding” include: more cameras, fewer cameras, harsher fines, lesser fines, more licence points and no licence points.

But none of that would make any difference to, for example, me. And my opinions might be even more useful than yours, because I bet I’ve been done for speeding more often than you have. Each and every time through stupidity. Not wilfulness, not carelessness, not thoughtlessness, not forgetfulness: full-on, duh-brained, inability to understand.

Any speeding offences I’ve committed since going on a “speed awareness course” a few years ago, for example, have been done while consciously and simultaneously attempting to obey the speed limit. But failing. Out of stupidity.

Subjecting me to more cameras, more points and harsher penalties is just hitting the donkey harder with the stick. The donkey gets sadder, more bruised and more scared, but it still doesn’t actually understand.

I don’t really think of myself as stupid – but then, who does? There is no other explanation. The Highway Code can’t be that difficult to understand, and yet my brain seems to treat it as a set of nuclear fission instructions in Old Japanese.

My speeding offences (whether caught or not) are always in situations where the speed limit is 30 but I think it’s 40. And I’m never doing 40, always a careful 37.

I do understand that anyone with a driving licence should be able to distinguish between the rules on various types of road. The distinctions are thus.

A 40mph speed limit is often (but not always) found on the surrounding roads of a town or city. The 50mph limit is also used on such roads. But sometimes it’s 30mph.

Street lights often (but not always) denote 30, but they can also be found when it’s 40. You can assume that the limit is 30 in a built-up area (except when it’s 20) and 70 on a dual carriageway (except when it’s 50). The quirky 60mph is usually to be found on open country roads, except when they are 50 or 40, which they sometimes are, at the discretion of local officials.

I MEAN, WHAT AM I, BARUCH SPINOZA? (See? I know who Baruch Spinoza was. But I still can’t understand the speed limit.)

With further cloudiness, the government website gov.co.uk/speed-limits advises: “A speed limit of 30 mph or 48km/h usually applies, unless you see signs showing otherwise.”

They might want to reword that. Whether or not you see the signs is not, I’m pretty sure, the crucial issue.

There never seem to be as many signs as speed cameras, but that’s only a problem because the system’s so complicated. Why can’t it just be 30mph everywhere but the motorway? What is the point of all these baffling 40s and 50s and 60s? For the mass confusion they cause, we’d better be damn sure they’re shaving precious minutes off the time it’s taking top research scientists to reach the cancer laboratory.

All I want is to be legal and safe. I pay higher premiums because my speeding points spell “recklessness” to the insurance company, but you can’t imagine how risk-averse I am at the wheel. I only go over 30 at all because it’s dangerous to drive too much slower than everyone else. I hear a satnav will tell you the speed limit wherever you are – but I don’t have one, because I think it’s hazardous to look at a screen while driving a car.

And I think there are millions of us, being cursed and punished as deliberate flouters rather than failed triers. This is unfair, dangerous and wrong. It’s not what the law is supposed to be for. There’s no rule saying: “Murder is illegal except on country roads, without lamp posts, where you haven’t seen a sign.”

With my careful 37mph driving, I’d never be stopped by live, busy police. So, yes, I’m a “victim” of speed cameras, but that doesn’t mean I disapprove of them. They highlight a big problem. But let’s be clear: the problem they highlight is not that we are a nation of daredevils. It’s that we have an over-complicated system and not enough signs. Sort that out and we’d see this 43% rise disappear by the end of the month.