New Labour MPs, do yourselves a favour, get an editor

http://www.theguardian.com/politics/2015/may/17/new-labour-mps-get-yourselves-an-editor

Version 0 of 1.

The letter from 10 newly elected Labour MPs (16 May) is clearly heartfelt and makes reasonable points. As an exercise in political communication, however, it may inadvertently expose one factor in why the party did so badly on May 7. Consider: 300 words, just six sentences, ranging from 31 to 65 words in length, most no more than serial cliches. In all, a struggle to get through, tiring to comprehend, and an excellent illustration of how best to lose the attention of ordinary readers. Did none of the 10 signatories give a thought to whether their six sentences would actually catch the attention of their hoped-for audience? Is there no talent for editorial revision among their number or in their offices? Have they given any thought at all to how to communicate effectively?Henning SievertsWoodbridge, Suffolk