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| Newcastle United v West Ham United: Premier League – live! | Newcastle United v West Ham United: Premier League – live! |
| (38 minutes later) | |
| 3.19pm BST15:19 | |
| 18 min: Gutierrez sees his shot from the edge of the box blocked by Reid. Janmaat, who has spent more time in the West Ham area than his own, smashes the loose ball wide. | |
| 3.18pm BST15:18 | |
| St. James' Park unites in applause in memory of John Alder and Liam Sweeney. #NUFC | |
| 3.17pm BST15:17 | |
| 17 min: Downing looks to thread a pass through to the onrushing Kouyate but the ball is a little too heavy. | |
| 3.16pm BST15:16 | |
| 15 min: Song makes a bit of a rick inside the centre circle and Newcastle are able to break onto the West Ham back four. Janmaat heads over to take a throw-in and tries to whip up the crowd. | |
| 3.14pm BST15:14 | |
| 13 min: Cole chases a long ball down the right channel and Williamson tidies up, playing the ball back to Krul. Krul, though, plays the riskiest of short passes out and the ball evades Valencia’s toes by a whisker. A few hearts skipped a beat there. | |
| 3.12pm BST15:12 | |
| 12 min: Janmaat surges forward on the right and cuts inside but his shot is a weak one, bobbling straight through to Adrian. | |
| 3.11pm BST15:11 | |
| 11 min: Dummett forces his way down the Newcastle left but his cross pinballs between himself and a defender and goes out for a goal kick. | |
| 3.10pm BST15:10 | |
| 10 min: It’s still 0-0 in the other game that matters at the bottom. | |
| Hull started sharp and at it.. | |
| 3.09pm BST15:09 | |
| 9 min: Sissoko plops a cross straight into the hands of Adrian. | |
| 3.08pm BST15:08 | |
| 8 min: The atmosphere inside SJP really is rocking and both sets of players have responded to it thus far. | |
| A bold new strategy from Newcastle today. They appear to have decided to give a shit. And it’s working. | |
| 3.06pm BST15:06 | |
| 6 min: This has been a 100mph start. Riviere attempts a spectacular overhead kick at the back post and connects reasonably well. The effort scuds into the side-netting. | |
| 3.05pm BST15:05 | |
| 5 min: Downing swirls in a corner and Krul tumbles under pressure in the box. Atkinson sees enough contact on this occasion to award the foul. | |
| 3.04pm BST15:04 | |
| 4 min: I think that fell into the section marked You’ve Seen Them Given. | |
| Updated at 3.04pm BST | |
| 3.04pm BST15:04 | |
| 3 min: Is this a penalty? Well, no, but should it have been? Valencia turns past Williamson in the box, the Newcastle defender dangling a leg awkwardly towards the forward. He goes down but referee Atkinson, who was well placed, isn’t interested. | |
| 3.02pm BST15:02 | |
| 1 min: CLOSE TO THE PERFECT START FOR NEWCASTLE! They break down the right, get a couple of favourable bobbles as the ball is sent low into the area by Sissoko from over on the right. Both Cisse and Riviere are closing in and the ball breaks to the latter, who lashes across goal. | |
| 3.00pm BST15:00 | |
| Peep! Off we go then. Newcastle have 90 minutes to save themselves. | |
| 3.00pm BST15:00 | |
| St James’ Park is noisy as the players line up pre-kick-off. A cauldron, if you will. Though quite why large pots are considered noisy I’m not entirely sure. | |
| 2.56pm BST14:56 | |
| The players are in the tunnel. Even the Newcastle mascots look nervous. | |
| 2.51pm BST14:51 | |
| “From this day forward we will be making our own luck”? I’m not sure luck works like that, Mike old bean. | |
| Mike Ashley not selling Newcastle - 2016-19 TV deals likely to be £8.5bn; now not the time to sell a cash cow. #nufc https://t.co/YM07ORyOmu | |
| 2.50pm BST14:50 | |
| Ashley’s interview on Sky Sports has just aired. A quick summary (courtesy of Newcastle’s official website): | |
| Where does the blame lie? My door. I didn’t envisage us being in this position at Christmas. Obviously, after the last couple of weeks I’m still a little bit shocked at where we find ourselves today. | |
| I will continue the policy of investing in the football club. | |
| We have got the club on a very sound financial footing, so we are able to spend and punch above our weight thanks to the current financial situation the club finds itself in. | |
| What’s your plan now? To definitely win something and, by the way, I won’t be selling until I do. | |
| [The club is not for sale] at any price. And when I say ‘win something’, if we ever get into a position of being in a Champions League place, that also counts as winning something. | |
| From this day forward we will be making our own luck. | |
| 2.44pm BST14:44 | |
| WHAT’S YOU PLAN MIKE?! “We have the financial cart, we now have to bolt the horse on.” Erm, OK. | |
| 2.35pm BST14:35 | 2.35pm BST14:35 |
| Mike Ashley has apparently just told broadcast journalists that he has no plans to leave the club until they’ve won something. League One title in 2016-17? | Mike Ashley has apparently just told broadcast journalists that he has no plans to leave the club until they’ve won something. League One title in 2016-17? |
| Hard to see Mike Ashley sell Newcastle. Stay up: TV cheque £60m+. Go down, £65m parachute. Easier money than flogging cheap sportswear #nufc | Hard to see Mike Ashley sell Newcastle. Stay up: TV cheque £60m+. Go down, £65m parachute. Easier money than flogging cheap sportswear #nufc |
| 2.26pm BST14:26 | 2.26pm BST14:26 |
| The fans' view | The fans' view |
| The Observer hunted down fans of every Premier League team to get their reviews of the season. Here’s what the fans of these clubs thought: | The Observer hunted down fans of every Premier League team to get their reviews of the season. Here’s what the fans of these clubs thought: |
| Newcastle – Richard & David Holmes | Newcastle – Richard & David Holmes |
| 2/10 Applying the business model of a downmarket sports retailer (degrade the brand, maximise profits) to a football club has, unsurprisingly, had disastrous consequences. By limiting ambition to staying in the Premier Leagueand treating cups with contempt, Mike Ashley has created a soulless entity and shattered the hopes of generations of fans. Alan Pardew performed as well as he could as an apologist for Ashley, while John Carver has proved completely out of his depth. He might “bleed black and white” but he’s proved to be inept at both man management and tactics … and couldn’t even inspire his players to put up a fight in a derby. The owner, management, coaching staff and most of the players deserve to go down – the fans don’t. | 2/10 Applying the business model of a downmarket sports retailer (degrade the brand, maximise profits) to a football club has, unsurprisingly, had disastrous consequences. By limiting ambition to staying in the Premier Leagueand treating cups with contempt, Mike Ashley has created a soulless entity and shattered the hopes of generations of fans. Alan Pardew performed as well as he could as an apologist for Ashley, while John Carver has proved completely out of his depth. He might “bleed black and white” but he’s proved to be inept at both man management and tactics … and couldn’t even inspire his players to put up a fight in a derby. The owner, management, coaching staff and most of the players deserve to go down – the fans don’t. |
| The stars Ayoze Pérez has been a bright spark in a dark season, Daryl Janmaat has had us wondering why we were so upset about Mathieu Debuchy leaving and Jack Colback has been consistent. And Jonás Gutiérrez deserves credit, for obvious reasons. The flops Everyone else, more or less. | The stars Ayoze Pérez has been a bright spark in a dark season, Daryl Janmaat has had us wondering why we were so upset about Mathieu Debuchy leaving and Jack Colback has been consistent. And Jonás Gutiérrez deserves credit, for obvious reasons. The flops Everyone else, more or less. |
| Summer targets This clearly depends on what division we’re in. But players with guts, determination and experience wouldn’t go amiss. We hear Joey Barton might be available on a free … | Summer targets This clearly depends on what division we’re in. But players with guts, determination and experience wouldn’t go amiss. We hear Joey Barton might be available on a free … |
| Best and worst away fans Burnley were best; Manchester United worst. They were arrogant without having much to be arrogant about. | Best and worst away fans Burnley were best; Manchester United worst. They were arrogant without having much to be arrogant about. |
| Highlights montage music Tom Petty – Free Fallin’ | Highlights montage music Tom Petty – Free Fallin’ |
| West Ham – Pete May – HammersInTheHeart.blogspot.co.uk | West Ham – Pete May – HammersInTheHeart.blogspot.co.uk |
| 6/10 A bizarre season: great before Christmas and then relegation form after. On the positive side we were safe in March. Injuries haven’t helped – including Enner Valencia being crocked by crockery – and numerous points thrown away in added time suggest a concentration problem. Big Sam delivered what he was asked to early on with good signings, more attacking football and great wins over Man City and Liverpool. But the board dithering over his position has left gaffer and team looking demotivated. A large section of the crowd will never like him, but, unless we get an A-list replacement, letting Allardyce go is a high-risk strategy. | 6/10 A bizarre season: great before Christmas and then relegation form after. On the positive side we were safe in March. Injuries haven’t helped – including Enner Valencia being crocked by crockery – and numerous points thrown away in added time suggest a concentration problem. Big Sam delivered what he was asked to early on with good signings, more attacking football and great wins over Man City and Liverpool. But the board dithering over his position has left gaffer and team looking demotivated. A large section of the crowd will never like him, but, unless we get an A-list replacement, letting Allardyce go is a high-risk strategy. |
| The stars Aaron Cresswell, Diafra Sakho, Adrián, Kouyaté and Jenkinson – a big improvement at right-back. The flops The ageing Kevin Nolan doesn’t have a goal threat any more. Valencia looks skilful but hasn’t scored the goals his price tag demands. And Andy Carroll was the season’s fitness flop. | The stars Aaron Cresswell, Diafra Sakho, Adrián, Kouyaté and Jenkinson – a big improvement at right-back. The flops The ageing Kevin Nolan doesn’t have a goal threat any more. Valencia looks skilful but hasn’t scored the goals his price tag demands. And Andy Carroll was the season’s fitness flop. |
| Summer targets We need to sign Jenkinson permanently from Arsenal, plus a fit striker and a leader to replace Nolan. | Summer targets We need to sign Jenkinson permanently from Arsenal, plus a fit striker and a leader to replace Nolan. |
| Best and worst away fans Crystal Palace were noisy. Worst were Chelsea for celebrating like they’d won the league, as if… | Best and worst away fans Crystal Palace were noisy. Worst were Chelsea for celebrating like they’d won the league, as if… |
| Highlights montage music Stealers Wheel – Stuck in the Middle with You. | Highlights montage music Stealers Wheel – Stuck in the Middle with You. |
| 2.21pm BST14:21 | 2.21pm BST14:21 |
| Mike Ashley is in attendance at St James’s Park today, where he is sure to be showered in gifts, bombarded with flowers and have his name to sung to the rafters. Well-wishers will queue up around the ground to shake his hand and congratulate him on a job well done. | Mike Ashley is in attendance at St James’s Park today, where he is sure to be showered in gifts, bombarded with flowers and have his name to sung to the rafters. Well-wishers will queue up around the ground to shake his hand and congratulate him on a job well done. |
| Or maybe not. | Or maybe not. |
| 2.10pm BST14:10 | 2.10pm BST14:10 |
| So Papiss Cissé makes his first start for Newcastle since that fateful saliva-filled afternoon at Old Trafford back on 4 March. What we expect to be Sam Allardyce’s final West Ham XI is pretty much as expected. | So Papiss Cissé makes his first start for Newcastle since that fateful saliva-filled afternoon at Old Trafford back on 4 March. What we expect to be Sam Allardyce’s final West Ham XI is pretty much as expected. |
| 2.04pm BST14:04 | 2.04pm BST14:04 |
| The teams | The teams |
| Newcastle (4-2-3-1): Krul, Janmaat, Coloccini (c), Williamson, Dummett; Anita, Colback; Gutierrez, Sissoko, Rivière; Cissé. Subs: Woodman, R.Taylor, Gouffran, Ameobi, Cabella, de Jong, Perez. | Newcastle (4-2-3-1): Krul, Janmaat, Coloccini (c), Williamson, Dummett; Anita, Colback; Gutierrez, Sissoko, Rivière; Cissé. Subs: Woodman, R.Taylor, Gouffran, Ameobi, Cabella, de Jong, Perez. |
| West Ham (4-5-1): Adrian; Jenkinson, Burke, Reid, Cresswell; Downing, Song, Nolan (c), Kouyate, Valencia; Cole. Subs: Jaaskelainen, O’Brien, Tomkins, Amalfitano, Jarvis, Lee, Nene. | West Ham (4-5-1): Adrian; Jenkinson, Burke, Reid, Cresswell; Downing, Song, Nolan (c), Kouyate, Valencia; Cole. Subs: Jaaskelainen, O’Brien, Tomkins, Amalfitano, Jarvis, Lee, Nene. |
| Updated at 2.06pm BST | Updated at 2.06pm BST |
| 2.00pm BST14:00 | 2.00pm BST14:00 |
| Preamble | Preamble |
| Cheese with fruit in it. Mrs Brown’s Boys. Paper cuts. Own-brand tomato ketchup … some things are just rubbish. But nothing has been quite as rubbish as the 2015 version of Newcastle United. Remember when the season was almost a third over and Newcastle were fifth? Since then … | Cheese with fruit in it. Mrs Brown’s Boys. Paper cuts. Own-brand tomato ketchup … some things are just rubbish. But nothing has been quite as rubbish as the 2015 version of Newcastle United. Remember when the season was almost a third over and Newcastle were fifth? Since then … |
| LDWLLLWDLLWDDLWLLLLLLLLDL | LDWLLLWDLLWDDLWLLLLLLLLDL |
| Almost half the points they’ve mustered this season were earned in a four-week spell in late October and early November. That, though, has proved an island of success in an ocean of uselessness. So useless have they been since the champagne corks stopped popping on New Year’s Eve that they go into the final day knowing that anything other than a victory over that West Ham could see them relegated. | Almost half the points they’ve mustered this season were earned in a four-week spell in late October and early November. That, though, has proved an island of success in an ocean of uselessness. So useless have they been since the champagne corks stopped popping on New Year’s Eve that they go into the final day knowing that anything other than a victory over that West Ham could see them relegated. |
| If John Carver’s team (and at the moment you feel that word should be surrounded by inverted commas) can find a win against the Hammers then everything’s gravy. Anything other than a win and it’s up to Hull, who face Manchester United on the final day knowing that only a victory can save them. Beating Manchester United on the final day to survive? That would never happen, would it? | If John Carver’s team (and at the moment you feel that word should be surrounded by inverted commas) can find a win against the Hammers then everything’s gravy. Anything other than a win and it’s up to Hull, who face Manchester United on the final day knowing that only a victory can save them. Beating Manchester United on the final day to survive? That would never happen, would it? |