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Running out of Greek allusions? Try my literary bailout Running out of Greek allusions? Try my literary bailout
(35 minutes later)
An air of inevitability has hung over journalists’ notebooks this past week. Not the certainty of economic chaos in the Aegean. No, I’m talking about the near 100% chance of finding a classical allusion in their copy. Multiple Greek tragedies, achilles heels and mentions of Icarus flying too close to the sun have now given way to a slew of pyrrhic victories as prime minister Alexis Tsipras emerges triumphant from his referendum gamble.An air of inevitability has hung over journalists’ notebooks this past week. Not the certainty of economic chaos in the Aegean. No, I’m talking about the near 100% chance of finding a classical allusion in their copy. Multiple Greek tragedies, achilles heels and mentions of Icarus flying too close to the sun have now given way to a slew of pyrrhic victories as prime minister Alexis Tsipras emerges triumphant from his referendum gamble.
Greek myth has been plundered for its riches, just as the real treasuries of Athens are running dry. Nothing wrong with that: but hacks are going to have to dig a little deeper if they want to avoid repeating themselves. How about Horkos, the god who punishes those who break oaths? Or Moros, the spirit of impending doom?Greek myth has been plundered for its riches, just as the real treasuries of Athens are running dry. Nothing wrong with that: but hacks are going to have to dig a little deeper if they want to avoid repeating themselves. How about Horkos, the god who punishes those who break oaths? Or Moros, the spirit of impending doom?
Lalochezia, from lalia (speech) and chezo (to defecate) – to relieve stress through swearingLalochezia, from lalia (speech) and chezo (to defecate) – to relieve stress through swearing
As well as the complex tapestry of myth, the Greeks have supplied us with a vast repository of underused words. The following seem particularly relevant: onychophagy, from onuks (nail) and phagein (to eat) – the act of biting ones nails; lalochezia, from lalia (speech) and chezo (to defecate) – to relieve stress through swearing; nepenthe, from ne- (not) and penthos (grief) – a drug causing one to forget one’s sorrows. You’ve got no excuses now.As well as the complex tapestry of myth, the Greeks have supplied us with a vast repository of underused words. The following seem particularly relevant: onychophagy, from onuks (nail) and phagein (to eat) – the act of biting ones nails; lalochezia, from lalia (speech) and chezo (to defecate) – to relieve stress through swearing; nepenthe, from ne- (not) and penthos (grief) – a drug causing one to forget one’s sorrows. You’ve got no excuses now.
Crackpots and cracked ribsCrackpots and cracked ribs
Hot weather causes British people to behave strangely, and I have two cautionary tales from the weekend.Hot weather causes British people to behave strangely, and I have two cautionary tales from the weekend.
First: striking up conversations with strangers. Normally an extremely unusual event, except in the presence of significant quantities of alcohol. And perhaps with good reason. Sitting in the sunshine at a popular bathing spot I and a friend got talking to a woman who offered us her hummus. We were able to respond in kind with marinated artichoke. Ice broken, we started talking about the state of the world – Greece, Iran, Saudi Arabia.First: striking up conversations with strangers. Normally an extremely unusual event, except in the presence of significant quantities of alcohol. And perhaps with good reason. Sitting in the sunshine at a popular bathing spot I and a friend got talking to a woman who offered us her hummus. We were able to respond in kind with marinated artichoke. Ice broken, we started talking about the state of the world – Greece, Iran, Saudi Arabia.
She turned out to be a bit of a lefty. So far so good. And then: “Of course Iran and Cuba are the only countries whose banks aren’t controlled by the Rothschilds.” Oh. “Yep. The Bank of England – that’s run by the Rothschilds.”She turned out to be a bit of a lefty. So far so good. And then: “Of course Iran and Cuba are the only countries whose banks aren’t controlled by the Rothschilds.” Oh. “Yep. The Bank of England – that’s run by the Rothschilds.”
Like rabbits in the headlights, we no longer knew how to proceed: random antisemitism from hummus-sharing strangers is just not in the script. Yes, I should have confronted her. But, in my experience, trying to convince conspiracy theorists they’re wrong just makes you part of the conspiracy. Instead, I reacted in a consummately 21st-century manner, discreetly WhatsApping my friend to suggest that we terminate the conversation.Like rabbits in the headlights, we no longer knew how to proceed: random antisemitism from hummus-sharing strangers is just not in the script. Yes, I should have confronted her. But, in my experience, trying to convince conspiracy theorists they’re wrong just makes you part of the conspiracy. Instead, I reacted in a consummately 21st-century manner, discreetly WhatsApping my friend to suggest that we terminate the conversation.
Second: playing frisbee. We get so little practice at this that when the weather is good enough, parks become dangerously flooded with plastic discs spinning unpredictably away from their targets, into picnics and over walls. Attempting to catch one I kept my eyes focused on it – though sadly not on the lamp-post I was hurtling towards. One cracked rib later, I’ve decided to stick to safer sports, like free running.Second: playing frisbee. We get so little practice at this that when the weather is good enough, parks become dangerously flooded with plastic discs spinning unpredictably away from their targets, into picnics and over walls. Attempting to catch one I kept my eyes focused on it – though sadly not on the lamp-post I was hurtling towards. One cracked rib later, I’ve decided to stick to safer sports, like free running.
Damon’s carried awayDamon’s carried away
Related: Are we out of time? Damon Albarn carried off stage following five-hour setRelated: Are we out of time? Damon Albarn carried off stage following five-hour set
How long is too long when it comes to seeing musicians perform? Damon Albarn and Africa Express tested the limits of audience indulgence with a five-hour set at the Roskilde festival, in Denmark. In the end the Blur singer had to be carried offstage.How long is too long when it comes to seeing musicians perform? Damon Albarn and Africa Express tested the limits of audience indulgence with a five-hour set at the Roskilde festival, in Denmark. In the end the Blur singer had to be carried offstage.
He was obviously enjoying himself, but was the crowd? Maybe those whose feet hadn’t turned into numb blocks of flesh two hours and 45 minutes before. And as for your never-before-heard experimental compositions, we’ll give those a miss, thanks. Five of your best songs, then wrap it up. Leave us wanting more, not wishing we could have gone home already. He was obviously enjoying himself, but was the crowd? Maybe those whose feet hadn’t turned into numb blocks of flesh two hours and 45 minutes before. And as for your never-before-heard experimental compositions, we’ll give those a miss, thanks. Five of your best songs, then wrap it up. Leave us wanting more, not wishing we could go home already.