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Celebrities on Tinder ruin regular people's chance to find love Celebrities on Tinder ruin regular people's chance to find love
(about 5 hours later)
As of Tuesday, for every real-life celebrity on Tinder, there’s now a verified blue tick. But hold your Periscope-wired ponies: this doesn’t mean that you’ll necessarily be able to use Tinder to hit on RiRi, JLo and LiLo. Celebrities don’t want what you’re having; they’re infiltrating the dating app to advertise themselves and their wares, hijacking the one space where we were meant to be eyeing up regular folk, filter-watch aside. Is no online space sacred?As of Tuesday, for every real-life celebrity on Tinder, there’s now a verified blue tick. But hold your Periscope-wired ponies: this doesn’t mean that you’ll necessarily be able to use Tinder to hit on RiRi, JLo and LiLo. Celebrities don’t want what you’re having; they’re infiltrating the dating app to advertise themselves and their wares, hijacking the one space where we were meant to be eyeing up regular folk, filter-watch aside. Is no online space sacred?
Used by 7% of American cellphone owners, here’s the glorious thing about dating apps: in a pixelated sea of fame-gamers, they’ve managed to remain the one island of social media where the featured malcontents really are the little people. Dating apps may pander simultaneously to our sense of ego and our baser instincts, but really we are on them looking for connection, whether that’s the hot hook-up or the fully committed dinner-and-a-movie deal. We’re not on them looking to admire Bey’s latest lo-fi jiggle – Instagram, TMZ and a coconut-oil-slick of online gossip blogs do that job just fine. And we’re not on them to be reminded of the album or jeans or toilet seat cover we’ve yet to buy. We’re meant to be looking for love (or lust) in our own real lifetimes.Used by 7% of American cellphone owners, here’s the glorious thing about dating apps: in a pixelated sea of fame-gamers, they’ve managed to remain the one island of social media where the featured malcontents really are the little people. Dating apps may pander simultaneously to our sense of ego and our baser instincts, but really we are on them looking for connection, whether that’s the hot hook-up or the fully committed dinner-and-a-movie deal. We’re not on them looking to admire Bey’s latest lo-fi jiggle – Instagram, TMZ and a coconut-oil-slick of online gossip blogs do that job just fine. And we’re not on them to be reminded of the album or jeans or toilet seat cover we’ve yet to buy. We’re meant to be looking for love (or lust) in our own real lifetimes.
Of course, just because an app has an initial purpose doesn’t mean we only use it one way. According to research by GlobalWebIndex, nearly half of Tinder’s 50m users aren’t even single. As much as a source of soul-sex searching, Tinder can be for guffawing with friends, or for distraction during the commercial break, or out of tactile habit or as mere lust-lorn window-shopping. But there is something about perusing tangible, possible people, rather than fantasy figures, that is good for us. It reminds us that beauty comes in multitudinous variety, as does style, as does substance. It reminds us that people have bad angles, but also good ones, and that they have unfiltered, self-professed interests of which half might be genuine, and which stretch beyond self-promotion.Of course, just because an app has an initial purpose doesn’t mean we only use it one way. According to research by GlobalWebIndex, nearly half of Tinder’s 50m users aren’t even single. As much as a source of soul-sex searching, Tinder can be for guffawing with friends, or for distraction during the commercial break, or out of tactile habit or as mere lust-lorn window-shopping. But there is something about perusing tangible, possible people, rather than fantasy figures, that is good for us. It reminds us that beauty comes in multitudinous variety, as does style, as does substance. It reminds us that people have bad angles, but also good ones, and that they have unfiltered, self-professed interests of which half might be genuine, and which stretch beyond self-promotion.
Related: Tinder matches want to drool over my hobbies. What if I don't have any?
And aside from that jolt of dopamine generated by the ‘hunt’, dating apps allow us to engage with our hopes and dreams in a medium that might just generate an amazing outcome. We’ve all had a celebrity fantasy or two – they’re a natural perving-off point in the process of sexual maturity. But it’s too easy, in our time-poor lives, to find ourselves putting off real love with all its foibles because it cannot compete with the celebrity cropped-and-Photoshopped kind. Why poison the already murky well with yet more reminders that real life is rarely that fabulous? Doesn’t the commercial world already plunder our dreams often enough?And aside from that jolt of dopamine generated by the ‘hunt’, dating apps allow us to engage with our hopes and dreams in a medium that might just generate an amazing outcome. We’ve all had a celebrity fantasy or two – they’re a natural perving-off point in the process of sexual maturity. But it’s too easy, in our time-poor lives, to find ourselves putting off real love with all its foibles because it cannot compete with the celebrity cropped-and-Photoshopped kind. Why poison the already murky well with yet more reminders that real life is rarely that fabulous? Doesn’t the commercial world already plunder our dreams often enough?
Aside from telling us about the commercial value of Tinder and the online love business at large, the infiltration of official celebs also tells us something about authenticity, the new holy grail of celebrity branding. Beyoncé seems to have the balance best. She is a mistress of at-ease, authentic shots of her hyper-fantastical life. But for every Beyoncé, there are a hundred others with less self-assured stardom. Throwing them into the Tinder mix seems like a desperate attempt, not just to infiltrate our sexual fantasies, but to rub them up in some of our grit, shrinking the virtual gap, but never the actual one, between the gods and goddesses of Instagram and us side-swiped mortals. But they’re taking advantage of our space to flirt, fancy and forge real connection.Aside from telling us about the commercial value of Tinder and the online love business at large, the infiltration of official celebs also tells us something about authenticity, the new holy grail of celebrity branding. Beyoncé seems to have the balance best. She is a mistress of at-ease, authentic shots of her hyper-fantastical life. But for every Beyoncé, there are a hundred others with less self-assured stardom. Throwing them into the Tinder mix seems like a desperate attempt, not just to infiltrate our sexual fantasies, but to rub them up in some of our grit, shrinking the virtual gap, but never the actual one, between the gods and goddesses of Instagram and us side-swiped mortals. But they’re taking advantage of our space to flirt, fancy and forge real connection.
Whether dating apps contribute to greater success in love and greater human happiness is a good question, one that researchers with the Association of Psychological Science have tried to answer (the finding: “yes and no”). There certainly hasn’t been a slew of Tinder weddings, or you can bet your bottom-dollar the app would have exploited it, even if more happy marriages were never its mission. But dating apps have certainly helped us cast wider nets, ensuring marrying one’s neighbor will never be the only option ever again.Whether dating apps contribute to greater success in love and greater human happiness is a good question, one that researchers with the Association of Psychological Science have tried to answer (the finding: “yes and no”). There certainly hasn’t been a slew of Tinder weddings, or you can bet your bottom-dollar the app would have exploited it, even if more happy marriages were never its mission. But dating apps have certainly helped us cast wider nets, ensuring marrying one’s neighbor will never be the only option ever again.
That net of course, would never quite be large enough to capture a celebrity. Even in Los Angeles, where dating is akin to playing baseball with your heart on the bench, celebrities don’t use tech to actually cross into our corner of the field. Yes, Dita Von Teese once enlisted the services of a matchmaking company I moonlighted for, but that was because she was so loftily arranged she couldn’t ask anyone out herself. Are we really to believe that celebrities would run the security risk that comes with a swipe-right?That net of course, would never quite be large enough to capture a celebrity. Even in Los Angeles, where dating is akin to playing baseball with your heart on the bench, celebrities don’t use tech to actually cross into our corner of the field. Yes, Dita Von Teese once enlisted the services of a matchmaking company I moonlighted for, but that was because she was so loftily arranged she couldn’t ask anyone out herself. Are we really to believe that celebrities would run the security risk that comes with a swipe-right?
So now that celebrities have invaded our dating apps, it’s time to decamp, to a land forgotten by technology and Tinder alike. The park bench, the street corner, the Wi-Fi-free bar. Anywhere celebrities melt away, and we can finally, albeit briefly, have eyes for one another.So now that celebrities have invaded our dating apps, it’s time to decamp, to a land forgotten by technology and Tinder alike. The park bench, the street corner, the Wi-Fi-free bar. Anywhere celebrities melt away, and we can finally, albeit briefly, have eyes for one another.