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| Planes, traders and apocalyptic glitches: tech-quake shakes loose internet jokes | Planes, traders and apocalyptic glitches: tech-quake shakes loose internet jokes |
| (about 1 hour later) | |
| Nothing makes the end of the world quite as easy to survive as bad jokes on social media – especially when it’s not the end of the world at all. | Nothing makes the end of the world quite as easy to survive as bad jokes on social media – especially when it’s not the end of the world at all. |
| Related: New York stock exchange suspends trading after technical glitch | Related: New York stock exchange suspends trading after technical glitch |
| There were nearly as many conspiracy theories, movie references and almost-funny apocalyptic analogies online on Wednesday as there were actual technical glitches across some of the largest institutions in the United States. | There were nearly as many conspiracy theories, movie references and almost-funny apocalyptic analogies online on Wednesday as there were actual technical glitches across some of the largest institutions in the United States. |
| Hours after United Airlines flights were grounded across the country (with attendant annoyed passengers), the New York stock exchange stopped in its tracks, right around the time the Wall Street Journal’s homepage went down – and Twitter sprang into action. | Hours after United Airlines flights were grounded across the country (with attendant annoyed passengers), the New York stock exchange stopped in its tracks, right around the time the Wall Street Journal’s homepage went down – and Twitter sprang into action. |
| “BREAKING: The lame Twitter jokes you’re reading are neither a glitch nor a hack, they are a normal part of a socially dysfunctional platform,” tweeted Jon Favreau, Barack Obama’s former speechwriter. | “BREAKING: The lame Twitter jokes you’re reading are neither a glitch nor a hack, they are a normal part of a socially dysfunctional platform,” tweeted Jon Favreau, Barack Obama’s former speechwriter. |
| Others were less forgiving: | Others were less forgiving: |
| all these goddamn technical glitches, yet twitter remains available for great jokes, we deserve this world | all these goddamn technical glitches, yet twitter remains available for great jokes, we deserve this world |
| Our parents got "Black Monday." We get "Clusterfuck Wednesday." #NYSEdown | Our parents got "Black Monday." We get "Clusterfuck Wednesday." #NYSEdown |
| To add to such a glitchy day, and to fill the vacuum of hot takes from Twitter users with nothing better to do, about 2,500 people lost power in Washington DC – the bad-joke capital of the media world. | To add to such a glitchy day, and to fill the vacuum of hot takes from Twitter users with nothing better to do, about 2,500 people lost power in Washington DC – the bad-joke capital of the media world. |
| “My conspiracy theory: it’s July and nobody wants to do any work,” tweeted the writer Austin Kleon. | “My conspiracy theory: it’s July and nobody wants to do any work,” tweeted the writer Austin Kleon. |
| While the Guardian’s own business and tech team joked that this may or may not be Y2K all over again (hint: it’s not, even though our internet was down for a few minutes this morning), there was one conspiracy with legs: the hacking collective Anonymous sent out an ominous Twitter message late on Tuesday evening … | |
| Wonder if tomorrow is going to be bad for Wall Street.... we can only hope. | Wonder if tomorrow is going to be bad for Wall Street.... we can only hope. |
| Although, there are those actual financial crises in China, Greece and now New York, where the exchange was preparing to reopen before the end of the trading day on Wednesday afternoon. | Although, there are those actual financial crises in China, Greece and now New York, where the exchange was preparing to reopen before the end of the trading day on Wednesday afternoon. |
| Not that reality stopped the Batman references … | Not that reality stopped the Batman references … |
| Not the first time NYSE's had trouble #Bane pic.twitter.com/6o74aQ6qne | Not the first time NYSE's had trouble #Bane pic.twitter.com/6o74aQ6qne |
| … or the 80s movie “jokes”: | … or the 80s movie “jokes”: |
| Are we sure the #NYSE thing isn't these guys? Be sure to closely monitor frozen orange juice concentrate... pic.twitter.com/shfsTV0KUv | Are we sure the #NYSE thing isn't these guys? Be sure to closely monitor frozen orange juice concentrate... pic.twitter.com/shfsTV0KUv |
| While Gawker declared that “it’s time to panic”, artist and writer Molly Crabapple had the last word – even mid-“panic” – with some live narration. | While Gawker declared that “it’s time to panic”, artist and writer Molly Crabapple had the last word – even mid-“panic” – with some live narration. |
| "I am the god of light and math" a trader screams, then dives into the pit of the Google data center. The tubes rise to consume him #NYSE | "I am the god of light and math" a trader screams, then dives into the pit of the Google data center. The tubes rise to consume him #NYSE |
| "Man's inhumanity to man" I whisper to my phone cam while clenching my jaw in a tough but vulnerable way. Behind me Tiffanys burns #NYSE | "Man's inhumanity to man" I whisper to my phone cam while clenching my jaw in a tough but vulnerable way. Behind me Tiffanys burns #NYSE |
| You can read Crabapple’s complete thoughts here at Guardian US. But take a deep breath first: the world is not ending, and all of the bad jokes have been taken. And maybe have a drink – because, hey, that’s what the United passengers did. | You can read Crabapple’s complete thoughts here at Guardian US. But take a deep breath first: the world is not ending, and all of the bad jokes have been taken. And maybe have a drink – because, hey, that’s what the United passengers did. |
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