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I left care at 15 and soon went to borstal. Young people can’t just be abandoned I left care at 15 and soon went to borstal. Young people can’t just be abandoned
(34 minutes later)
I still find this difficult to believe, but when I was 15, my local social services sent me to live independently, with three other care leavers, on a sink estate with such a bad reputation that people referred to it as Alcatraz. I had been in care all of my life. My mum was a rural white woman and my father Nigerian, they were not married, and placed me in private foster care as a baby; when they stopped paying, I was taken into the care of Essex social services.I still find this difficult to believe, but when I was 15, my local social services sent me to live independently, with three other care leavers, on a sink estate with such a bad reputation that people referred to it as Alcatraz. I had been in care all of my life. My mum was a rural white woman and my father Nigerian, they were not married, and placed me in private foster care as a baby; when they stopped paying, I was taken into the care of Essex social services.
At the age of 10 I was labelled “institutionalised”. I suppose I was lucky compared to many kids in today’s care system. Apart from several fostering failures, I only spent time in three institutions, and experienced some continuity in my life – many kids today find themselves changing placement 10, 20, even 30 times.At the age of 10 I was labelled “institutionalised”. I suppose I was lucky compared to many kids in today’s care system. Apart from several fostering failures, I only spent time in three institutions, and experienced some continuity in my life – many kids today find themselves changing placement 10, 20, even 30 times.
This week the children’s commissioner for England, Anne Longfield, said that young people should be allowed to stay in care until they’re 25. This followed a survey of almost 3,000 children and young people who have experienced care, nearly a third of whom said they had been forced to fend for themselves at too early an age. I strongly agree with the findings and the suggestion that support and advice as well as financial assistance are needed – what a young person needs is somebody who will be there for them as they start their 20s, preferably a supported volunteer without a time limit. A relationship is what is needed.This week the children’s commissioner for England, Anne Longfield, said that young people should be allowed to stay in care until they’re 25. This followed a survey of almost 3,000 children and young people who have experienced care, nearly a third of whom said they had been forced to fend for themselves at too early an age. I strongly agree with the findings and the suggestion that support and advice as well as financial assistance are needed – what a young person needs is somebody who will be there for them as they start their 20s, preferably a supported volunteer without a time limit. A relationship is what is needed.
I’ll never forget that first night on my own, aged 15. I had never been alone before; in care, I was always surrounded by lots of other kids and staff. The silence was so loud I could hear ringing in my ears. And I was scared – really scared. The house had been derelict and people had been squatting there; I can still smell the piss which had soaked into the fabric of the building. It wasn’t long before I turned to my glue bag and my first night was spent out of my head, completely terrified. The other residents were not at home and the sliding door to the outside world would not lock – I remember doing something that could have killed me and others that night: wiring the door up to the electrics.I’ll never forget that first night on my own, aged 15. I had never been alone before; in care, I was always surrounded by lots of other kids and staff. The silence was so loud I could hear ringing in my ears. And I was scared – really scared. The house had been derelict and people had been squatting there; I can still smell the piss which had soaked into the fabric of the building. It wasn’t long before I turned to my glue bag and my first night was spent out of my head, completely terrified. The other residents were not at home and the sliding door to the outside world would not lock – I remember doing something that could have killed me and others that night: wiring the door up to the electrics.
Everything looked OK. But I was in my teens, and like any other kid of that age left unsupervised, life became a gameEverything looked OK. But I was in my teens, and like any other kid of that age left unsupervised, life became a game
I was still at school and was expected to get myself up at 7am to ensure I arrived on the other side of town by 9am. I am proud to say I never missed a day of school – being disruptive was my skill, not bunking off. Unusually for someone in care, I stayed on into sixth form, because the influence of my birth father meant I had a respect for education. My father was a professor who always maintained an interest in my education, and asked about it in letters, even though he was not present physically. I was still at school and was expected to get myself up at 7am to ensure I arrived on the other side of town by 9am. I am proud to say I never missed a day of school – being disruptive was my skill, not bunking off. Unusually for someone in care, I stayed on into sixth form, because the influence of my birth father meant I had a respect for education. My father was a professor who always maintained an interest in my education, and asked about it in letters even though he was not present physically.
So here I was, going to school; on the surface, everything looked OK. But I was in my mid-teens, and like any other kid of that age, left unsupervised, life became a game. My house was like a youth club and I attracted the other kids who had been abandoned by their parents. Trouble soon followed. My mates and I started nicking cars late at night when we should have been at home. We would drive from Basildon to, say, Clacton, in a stolen car, and nick another one to drive back. We organised fights with people from other towns, and broke into a swimming pool and chucked everything we could find into the water.So here I was, going to school; on the surface, everything looked OK. But I was in my mid-teens, and like any other kid of that age, left unsupervised, life became a game. My house was like a youth club and I attracted the other kids who had been abandoned by their parents. Trouble soon followed. My mates and I started nicking cars late at night when we should have been at home. We would drive from Basildon to, say, Clacton, in a stolen car, and nick another one to drive back. We organised fights with people from other towns, and broke into a swimming pool and chucked everything we could find into the water.
We caused havoc locally, but went undiscovered for a couple of years. By the time I was 17 I was attending Basildon college, studying for my A-Levels, and still living in “Alcatraz”. On my 18th birthday I was given a brand new flat not too far away. But the law was about to catch up with me. I was expelled from college and took revenge by smashing it up with my mates. Finger prints were left, and once they caught us for this, we were linked to hundreds of crimes and charged. We caused havoc locally, but went undiscovered for a couple of years. By the time I was 17 I was attending Basildon college, studying for my A-levels, and still living in “Alcatraz”. On my 18th birthday I was given a brand new flat not too far away. But the law was about to catch up with me. I was expelled from college and took revenge by smashing it up with my mates. Fingerprints were left, and once they caught us for this, we were linked to hundreds of crimes and charged.
To be honest, it was no surprise to go straight from care into custody. I’d grown up being told I’d make nothing of my life and Borstal was, and still is, part of the expected journey – many of the boys I knew left care for jail, while the girls left with babies. I was 18 when I was locked up, and hadn’t had anyone looking after me officially for three years. I had just been given a flat and left to get on with it. To be honest, it was no surprise to go straight from care into custody. I’d grown up being told I’d make nothing of my life and borstal was, and still is, part of the expected journey – many of the boys I knew left care for jail, while the girls left with babies. I was 18 when I was locked up, and hadn’t had anyone looking after me officially for three years. I had just been given a flat and left to get on with it.
But unlike many in care, I had someone who continued to watch out for me in an official capacity as my “social aunt” – Jenni Randall, who had been my social worker from the age of eight until I was 14. That was when she moved to another area in the county, but she fought hard to stay involved in my life. She knew I had no one and wanted to continue to have a positive influence on me. When I was sent to Borstal, it was she who made sure I got housing benefits – otherwise I would have lost my flat. She visited, wrote to me, and made me feel like someone cared. I always say I gave up crime for her, not me. It hurt to see her cry when she saw me on a prison visit, beaten to a pulp. I didn’t want her to have to drive miles every two weeks to visit me. When I came out of Borstal, she was there. She fed me, did my washing and encouraged me to follow the path I did. But unlike many in care, I had someone who continued to watch out for me in an official capacity as my “social aunt” – Jenni Randall, who had been my social worker from the age of eight until I was 14. That was when she moved to another area in the county, but she fought hard to stay involved in my life. She knew I had no one, and wanted to continue to have a positive influence on me. When I was sent to borstal, it was she who made sure I got housing benefit – otherwise I would have lost my flat. She visited, wrote to me, and made me feel like someone cared. I always say I gave up crime for her, not me. It hurt to see her cry when she saw me on a prison visit, beaten to a pulp. I didn’t want her to have to drive miles every two weeks to visit me. When I came out of borstal, she was there. She fed me, did my washing and encouraged me to follow the path I did.
I began a 25-year career making current affairs programmes for all the main broadcasters, campaigned for others in care through the National Association of Young People in Care, became a Prince’s Trust board member for a decade, and have been involved in many projects designed to help young people. Jenni is my role model, and I try to be to others what she was for me. I’d hate to think of where I would be now had she not been there.I began a 25-year career making current affairs programmes for all the main broadcasters, campaigned for others in care through the National Association of Young People in Care, became a Prince’s Trust board member for a decade, and have been involved in many projects designed to help young people. Jenni is my role model, and I try to be to others what she was for me. I’d hate to think of where I would be now had she not been there.
The biggest problem youngsters from care face is not having someone to walk alongside them as they move into adulthood. I mentor scores of care leavers and ex-offenders; for 15 years I ran a hostel which catered for young single homeless people, and many of my clients were care leavers. The whole system fails if we take kids away from their parents and families, then just let them out in their late teens, straight to custody or a life hardly worth living. What real difference have we made, apart from containing them until they’re 18? The biggest problem youngsters from care face is not having someone to walk alongside them as they move into adulthood. I mentor scores of care leavers and ex-offenders; for 15 years I ran a hostel which catered for young single homeless people, and many of my clients were care-leavers. The whole system fails if we take kids away from their parents and families, then just let them out in their late teens, straight to custody or a life hardly worth living. What real difference have we made, apart from containing them until they’re 18?
Of course I was delighted and excited as a 15-year-old on being told I could live unsupervised – who wouldn’t be? A care leaver told me this week, “Many of us couldn’t wait to escape the clutches of the care system – but all of us needed continued support.” How many people would honestly leave their 16-, 17- or 18-year-old child to fend for themselves? I can remember having to decide whether to steal food or clothes; in care, I had never missed a meal, but independence at such an early age meant I was often hungry. Of course I was delighted and excited as a 15-year-old on being told I could live unsupervised – who wouldn’t be? A care leaver told me this week, “Many of us couldn’t wait to escape the clutches of the care system – but all of us needed continued support.” How many people would honestly leave their 16-, 17- or 18-year-old child to fend for themselves? I can remember having to decide whether to steal food or clothes; in care I had never missed a meal, but independence at such an early age meant I was often hungry.
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When I sorted out my life and began mixing with people who had the exact opposite upbringing to mine, I soon realised that people rely on their parents throughout their lives. No good family cuts their children off at 18, and I worked with people whose parents paid deposits and rent while they got a foot on the ladder, who babysat, offered loans, rescued them from difficult situations and provided hot meals. This is rarely an option for kids in care. They often have strong emotional reasons not to ask for help from parents who may have already failed them. Social workers and carers are encouraged not to keep in touch, in order to maintain professional boundaries, and the friends they mix with are often hopeless too.When I sorted out my life and began mixing with people who had the exact opposite upbringing to mine, I soon realised that people rely on their parents throughout their lives. No good family cuts their children off at 18, and I worked with people whose parents paid deposits and rent while they got a foot on the ladder, who babysat, offered loans, rescued them from difficult situations and provided hot meals. This is rarely an option for kids in care. They often have strong emotional reasons not to ask for help from parents who may have already failed them. Social workers and carers are encouraged not to keep in touch, in order to maintain professional boundaries, and the friends they mix with are often hopeless too.
For the last few years, on Christmas day, I’ve been part of a group of care leavers who have provided a meal and presents for others on the day itself. All of us feel passionate that we want to do something to make a difference. Although I am deeply ashamed of my behaviour in the past, I am also angry, as I know I need not have gone down that route. I was not a bad kid. I was abandoned twice. Once by my parents, and then by a system that left me at a point in my life when I needed support. I made it despite this, but only because Jenni was, and still is, there for me. For the last few years, on Christmas day, I’ve been part of a group of care leavers who have provided a meal and presents for others on the day itself. All of us feel passionately that we want to do something to make a difference. Although I am deeply ashamed of my behaviour in the past, I am also angry, as I know I need not have gone down that route. I was not a bad kid. I was abandoned twice. Once by my parents, and then by a system that left me at a point in my life when I needed support. I made it despite this, but only because Jenni was, and still is, there for me.