If you are single and whine about it online prepare to stay that way
|
Version 0 of 1. There have been times where I am alone in my home clutching a glass of wine and contemplating when my life will resemble one long loop of Toni’s Braxton’s Find Me A Man or one of the many other celebratory R&B tracks about finding true love that I enjoy. And sure, there are moments where the thought of boo-less life makes me feel as bitter as a post-breakup Rob Kardashian Twitter tirade. However, I have the good damn sense not to ever reveal these thoughts on social media – and certainly not at length. Yet I increasingly see folks I know whine about their single status online. It is by far one of the most obnoxious traits of social media users, which says a lot, given there are so many varying ways to come across as a terrible person on the internet. People are free to express themselves as ever they see fit, of course. As a wise pop star once sang: “Express yourself, don’t repress yourself.” If you are guilty of complaining about being single on Twitter, Facebook, Instagram, Snapcat, Vine and every other social media app invented, ask yourself this very important question: is my complaining going to make me any less single? Have you ever seen someone ranting and raving about not having a boyfriend or girlfriend and said: “I’m so turned on by this display of bitterness” Or: “Oh, baby. Your lack of self-awareness touches my soul. Let me take you out to dinner and find out exactly why no one wants you.” If you answered yes, you just told me a lie. Stop it. Stop it right now. The answer is no with a hell in front of it because it’s not hot to have a personality that mirrors that taste of grapefruit. Admittedly, I have trashed men on Twitter before for reasons that include not being able to speak in complete sentences without pausing for a water break, being a sexist jerk, or making you regret not having the power of teleportation. In my defense, I blast awful people all the time. It’s just a fun little hobby of mine. But you’ll never catch me lamenting at length about how upset I am that Trey Songz, Frank Ocean, Ryan Phillippe, Jesse Williams or Michael B Jordan have failed not only to propose marriage, but even take me on a date. Nor do I talk about how, since moving to New York City, I’ve had so-so experiences with dating in the city. Would I like things to change? Yes, but I’m well aware that you’ve got to push until you get it right. I keep on swiping to the right hoping for a match, speak to a beautiful man at the gym or bar if we make eye contact and let Facebook DM and Instagram DM work their magic. I aim to be proactive, not a crybaby. Maybe you don’t like my methodology, but if your friends won’t tell you, I will: you need to stop complaining about your abysmal romantic life on Al Gore’s internet. You are not Carrie Bradshaw, your feed is not an episode of Sex & the City, and truth be told, Carrie was annoying as hell a lot of the time. If Carrie Bradshaw was on social media, I imagine Miranda and Samantha would’ve blocked her on Twitter. Maybe this bad habit is rooted in folks not having a free space among the people in their life to vent. If so, that’s likely caused by their loved ones behind fed up with their whining. So do yourself a world of good and buy a journal. Bury your thoughts in it. Stop telling the rest of the world about it. It won’t help you land a bae. I promise. |