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Bumpy flight for Mr Airfix as he encounters blue-on-blue flak Bumpy flight for Mr Airfix as he encounters blue-on-blue flak
(about 5 hours later)
The loudest sound was of one hand wringing. The prime minister’s speech at Ninestiles school in Birmingham had come heavily trailed as fighting extremism with extremism.The loudest sound was of one hand wringing. The prime minister’s speech at Ninestiles school in Birmingham had come heavily trailed as fighting extremism with extremism.
Anyone who even thought that someone else might be thinking about an act of extremism would be banged up under the new thought crime prevention bill.Anyone who even thought that someone else might be thinking about an act of extremism would be banged up under the new thought crime prevention bill.
Sometime between Sunday night and lunch on Wednesday, David Cameron had realised this might not only be both rather tricky to enforce but could also see a few of the more rightwing members of his own party placed under house arrest.Sometime between Sunday night and lunch on Wednesday, David Cameron had realised this might not only be both rather tricky to enforce but could also see a few of the more rightwing members of his own party placed under house arrest.
So it was a rather more measured Dave than usual that turned up in the Midlands. So measured that there was nothing in his speech even someone as notoriously fickle as himself might be able to disagree with on a later day.So it was a rather more measured Dave than usual that turned up in the Midlands. So measured that there was nothing in his speech even someone as notoriously fickle as himself might be able to disagree with on a later day.
The closest he got to a policy was the announcement that the right of middle-class parents to confiscate the passports of any of their children under the age of 16 whom they suspected of planning to bunk off to a rave in Ibiza would be extended to Muslim parents who were worried their under 16-year-olds were planning a staycation in Syria.The closest he got to a policy was the announcement that the right of middle-class parents to confiscate the passports of any of their children under the age of 16 whom they suspected of planning to bunk off to a rave in Ibiza would be extended to Muslim parents who were worried their under 16-year-olds were planning a staycation in Syria.
The prime minister tried to sound fierce, but there was no getting round the fact he was being entirely reasonable. Terrorism was a very bad thing and joining terrorist organisations was terribly bad.The prime minister tried to sound fierce, but there was no getting round the fact he was being entirely reasonable. Terrorism was a very bad thing and joining terrorist organisations was terribly bad.
And un-British. The whole point of being British was that you could never be too certain about anything because you could always see the other chap’s point of view. But enough was enough. It was time for British people to fight extreme intolerance with a little less tolerance.And un-British. The whole point of being British was that you could never be too certain about anything because you could always see the other chap’s point of view. But enough was enough. It was time for British people to fight extreme intolerance with a little less tolerance.
“It’s a very difficult problem,” the prime minister admitted with rather less certainty than he had the day before in an interview on American TV. Then, he had eyed up the cowboy boots Tony Blair had been given by George Bush and happily declared Britain would be happy to join the US in bombing Syria sometime real soon.“It’s a very difficult problem,” the prime minister admitted with rather less certainty than he had the day before in an interview on American TV. Then, he had eyed up the cowboy boots Tony Blair had been given by George Bush and happily declared Britain would be happy to join the US in bombing Syria sometime real soon.
Yeeee-ha! As parliament had specifically voted against Syrian air strikes in 2013, this announcement could have given his defence minister a tricky hour or so in the Commons but for Mr Airfix’s uncanny ability to come unstuck all on his own.Yeeee-ha! As parliament had specifically voted against Syrian air strikes in 2013, this announcement could have given his defence minister a tricky hour or so in the Commons but for Mr Airfix’s uncanny ability to come unstuck all on his own.
Over the past few months Michael Fallon has repeatedly told the Commons that no British servicemen would be deployed in Syria without another vote: under the pressure of a freedom of information request, Mr Airfix had last Friday been forced to fess up that a few Brits had already flown on US strikes on Syria.Over the past few months Michael Fallon has repeatedly told the Commons that no British servicemen would be deployed in Syria without another vote: under the pressure of a freedom of information request, Mr Airfix had last Friday been forced to fess up that a few Brits had already flown on US strikes on Syria.
“I wasn’t trying to hide anything,” Mr Airfix said defensively. “I was asked to respond to a freedom of information request and I did so. How could that be construed as concealment?” Quite easily to judge by the looks on the faces of almost everyone on both sides of the chamber. “I wasn’t trying to hide anything,” Mr Airfix said defensively. “I was asked to respond to a freedom of information request and I did so. How could that be construed as concealment?” Quite easily, to judge by the looks on the faces of almost everyone on both sides of the chamber.
Mr Airfix couldn’t help but dig himself in deeper. What had happened was this. When you’re building so many model aircraft kits at once, it’s quite easy to accidentally put the wrong pilot into the wrong plane. At international model conventions, this kind of error is known as “embedding” and it’s quite usual for exhibitors to keep stumm and hope the judges don’t notice.Mr Airfix couldn’t help but dig himself in deeper. What had happened was this. When you’re building so many model aircraft kits at once, it’s quite easy to accidentally put the wrong pilot into the wrong plane. At international model conventions, this kind of error is known as “embedding” and it’s quite usual for exhibitors to keep stumm and hope the judges don’t notice.
It was no big deal. Yes, five British airmen had been “embedded” on US air strikes since last autumn but because they weren’t flying in British aircraft he hadn’t felt it worth mentioning.It was no big deal. Yes, five British airmen had been “embedded” on US air strikes since last autumn but because they weren’t flying in British aircraft he hadn’t felt it worth mentioning.
There was a fair amount of embedding taking place on the government front benches. No fewer than 12 ministers had been forced out to support Mr Airfix and none of them looked at all happy to be used as cannon fodder.There was a fair amount of embedding taking place on the government front benches. No fewer than 12 ministers had been forced out to support Mr Airfix and none of them looked at all happy to be used as cannon fodder.
Ken Clarke tried to offer support by suggesting five aircrew wasn’t very many and that international borders weren’t all they were once cracked up to be, but merely provoked laughter from the opposition benches. And his own.Ken Clarke tried to offer support by suggesting five aircrew wasn’t very many and that international borders weren’t all they were once cracked up to be, but merely provoked laughter from the opposition benches. And his own.
Labour was always going to give Mr Airfix a hard time but it was the blue-on-blue friendly fire that did the most harm. Andrew Mitchell said he would give Fallon the “benefit of the doubt” while making it clear he didn’t.Labour was always going to give Mr Airfix a hard time but it was the blue-on-blue friendly fire that did the most harm. Andrew Mitchell said he would give Fallon the “benefit of the doubt” while making it clear he didn’t.
Both Julian Lewis and Crispin Blunt observed that the government seemed to be making up policy on the hoof and didn’t know whether Britain was supposed to be bombing Bashar al-Assad or Isis.Both Julian Lewis and Crispin Blunt observed that the government seemed to be making up policy on the hoof and didn’t know whether Britain was supposed to be bombing Bashar al-Assad or Isis.
Mr Airfix couldn’t see why any of this mattered. After truth, he may be the first casualty of the coming war.Mr Airfix couldn’t see why any of this mattered. After truth, he may be the first casualty of the coming war.