Sometimes I have to leave work early to pick up my kids. Deal with it
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Version 0 of 1. “Never tell anyone you need to leave work early because of your children. Make something up – you, your partner, your dog – but never say it’s your kids.” This was the advice a female colleague whispered to me when I returned to work after having my first child. My son’s childcare centre called me the day before to tell me he had a temperature and was vomiting. With my nervous new-mother heart in my mouth I stood up from my desk and announced I was leaving to collect my sick baby. Related: Abbott’s paid parental leave will do little to bring women to the workforce Apparently this was a big mistake because professional women don’t discuss their children at work. It was better if I told everyone I was leaving to collect my dog from the vet. Meanwhile, the all-male executive team of that same company wore their children like badges of honour. The more kids the better for those powerful breadwinners; the CEO’s five children made him a legend. That said, I don’t recall seeing them dash out the door for the school run. Nor did I hear them discuss remedies for croup as they flicked through their weekly board papers. These issues were obviously delegated to others. Since that day other people have told me to hide my motherhood at work. “Don’t describe yourself as a working mother because it suggests you might be prone to slacking off,” said the senior partner of a professional services firm. “Don’t put maternity leave on your resume, it will only act as a mark against you,” said the recruiter. Australian women account for only 17% of CEOs, 28% of executives and general managers, and 31% of senior managers. One-third of companies that provide gender diversity data to the Workplace Agenda Equality Agency have no female executives or general managers at all. Woeful statistics that refuse to budge, despite the constant chatter about the need for greater female participation in corporate Australia. Every day I read about benchmarks, quotas and targets – business leaders publicly imploring: “Why can’t I get more women to work for me?” Not long after I received the advice to hide my son I contributed to those woeful statistics, opting out of permanent full-time employment in favour of short-term contracts and freelancing. And with the number of female sole traders increasing by 25% in the past 10 years (for male sole traders it’s only 1%) there are many women like me. But I have also made the decision to always be honest about my kids with my clients. If my child is sick, I say I need to leave early because my child is sick. If my child needs to see a doctor, I say I need to come in a little late because my child needs to see a doctor. I’m not ashamed to say I need to do these things for my kids because frankly I don’t want to outsource my role as a mother. I also work hard and fast to provide my clients the most productively rich hours possible in return for their flexibility. In fact, I work harder today than I ever did before I had kids; I am proud of what I can contribute. The desire to be with your children and the ambition that fuels a career are terribly conflicting emotions. But they are very real. And unless we start having some honest conversations about the demands of parenting it will always be difficult for parents to reconcile these two worlds. Thankfully I have worked with some CEOs who also make a point of writing “tuck shop” in their busy calendars. In some companies, the culture is changing and more men are beginning to take a stand about leaving work to pick up kids or attend or concerts or carnivals. They’re often greeted with much fawning: “Oh, isn’t he great, he picks up the kids!” which is pretty much the opposite reaction most women seem to get. Related: Women aren't dropping out of labor force just because they are pregnant At the launch of the Human Rights Commission’s Supporting Working Parents website on Thursday, it was once again highlighted how many women feel unwelcome when returning to work after maternity leave. This means many women, like me, don’t stay long after their return, if they return at all, keeping Australia’s workforce participation rate for women dismally low. While I understand that people may resent the fawning men get for a simple act of parenting, the fact is that when people at the top – whether male or female – blend their personal and professional lives, it normalises the working parent juggle and gives others permission to do the same. You tend to find these rare creatures in companies that truly understand the concept of flexibility. Companies that measure productivity in terms other than the amount of time a person is seen sitting at a desk. Unfortunately, these are still rare in corporate Australia. So working parents of Australia I implore you – next time you need to leave work early because your child has a nasty case of gastro, don’t blame the dog. Because all the workplace gender diversity benchmarks, quotas and targets won’t make a difference without the right attitude and empathy to support them. And if we all keep hiding the demands of parenting, how on earth will business leaders know what needs to change? |