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MLS fans may brawl but Americans will always be second-class hooligans The only thing the MLS brawlers proved is that they're second-class hooligans
(about 4 hours later)
America has made great strides in soccer in recent years. From the nationwide enthusiasm for the 2014 and 2015 World Cup teams to the growing attendance and TV ratings enjoyed by MLS, soccer culture in the United States is inching ever closer to what is found throughout the rest of the world.America has made great strides in soccer in recent years. From the nationwide enthusiasm for the 2014 and 2015 World Cup teams to the growing attendance and TV ratings enjoyed by MLS, soccer culture in the United States is inching ever closer to what is found throughout the rest of the world.
But there is still one vital area in which America is lagging far behind other soccer nations: hooliganism.But there is still one vital area in which America is lagging far behind other soccer nations: hooliganism.
The soccer hooligans of Europe and South America are far more advanced in their tactics, violence and hatred than the upstart stateside hooligan community. America may be the favorite in any military conflict, but our homegrown ruffians simply would stand no chance physically or strategically in a fight with their international counterparts.The soccer hooligans of Europe and South America are far more advanced in their tactics, violence and hatred than the upstart stateside hooligan community. America may be the favorite in any military conflict, but our homegrown ruffians simply would stand no chance physically or strategically in a fight with their international counterparts.
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This harsh reality was laid bare for all the world to see on Sunday in Newark, New Jersey, when, before the Red Bulls-New York FC match kicked off, a brawl broke out between supporters of the two sides. Of course, some may want to quickly dismiss the scene as not a soccer-induced melee, but just the average Sunday afternoon in downtown Newark. However, as the New York Daily News noted, “audio from the scene included chants consistent in tone with soccer supporter groups.” So there you go. This was a real American soccer hooligan-off. But it was a pathetic imitation brand compared to what one might see in Italy or Argentina.This harsh reality was laid bare for all the world to see on Sunday in Newark, New Jersey, when, before the Red Bulls-New York FC match kicked off, a brawl broke out between supporters of the two sides. Of course, some may want to quickly dismiss the scene as not a soccer-induced melee, but just the average Sunday afternoon in downtown Newark. However, as the New York Daily News noted, “audio from the scene included chants consistent in tone with soccer supporter groups.” So there you go. This was a real American soccer hooligan-off. But it was a pathetic imitation brand compared to what one might see in Italy or Argentina.
As the video reveals, the highlights of the uprising consisted of tossed sandwich boards, a pool cue waved about menacingly, and some hurled bags of garbage. And when police arrived, the entire mob dispersed. In short, it was child hooligan’s play. As the video reveals, the highlights of the uprising consisted of tossed sandwich boards, a pool cue waved about menacingly, and some hurled bags of garbage. And when police arrived, the entire mob dispersed. In short, it was child hooligan’s play. 
Your classically trained hooligan would never throw a sandwich board at someone. Not when, for example, a much heavier and potentially more destructive scooter can be thrown off the upper deck.  And why wield a pool stick when you can use a vibrator or dildo? Or many vibrators and dildos?  And garbage bags? Pffft. A severed pig’s head with its loose blood and tissue is far more disgusting than some tidily bagged collection of trash. Your classically trained hooligan would never throw a sandwich board at someone. Not when, for example, a much heavier and potentially more destructive scooter can be thrown off the upper deck.  And why wield a pool stick when you can use a vibrator or dildo? Or many vibrators and dildos?  And garbage bags? Pffft. A severed pig’s head with its loose blood and tissue is far more disgusting than some tidily bagged collection of trash. 
Yet Sunday’s Newark brawlers do deserve some credit for even making an effort to hooliganize. Many top European clubs have been around for more than a hundred years. Their supporters have been blessed with decades to develop their approaches to asymmetrical havoc. The art of mayhem and destruction has been passed down from generation to generation, each new era of fans refining and retooling the violence and adding modern elements.Yet Sunday’s Newark brawlers do deserve some credit for even making an effort to hooliganize. Many top European clubs have been around for more than a hundred years. Their supporters have been blessed with decades to develop their approaches to asymmetrical havoc. The art of mayhem and destruction has been passed down from generation to generation, each new era of fans refining and retooling the violence and adding modern elements.
Whereas NYC FC played its first ever league game on 8 March of this year. To be chucking sandwich boards down the street in broad daylight already is no small accomplishment. But still, the hooligan gap between the US and Europe is so wide, it’s foolish to think it will ever be closed. Supporters of European clubs have forgotten more about who they are to illogically hate and why than NYC FC fans have even begun to learn. Whereas NYC FC played its first ever league game on 8 March of this year. To be chucking sandwich boards down the street in broad daylight already is no small accomplishment. But still, the hooligan gap between the US and Europe is so wide, it’s foolish to think it will ever be closed. Supporters of European clubs have forgotten more about who they are to illogically hate and why than NYC FC fans have even begun to learn. 
America likes to think it is the best at everything, but the fact is that the United States may not be capable of developing a world class hooligan class. Soccer dominates the sporting landscape in Europe and South America. Other sports exist, sure, and have followings, but as far as engendering full-throated passion from large segments of society? Soccer is it. All of a community’s rage, all of its insecurities and perceived slights, all of its heartache and broken dreams, all of its prejudices and biases, everything negative can be directed with laser-sighted focus on the pitch, or at a pub near the pitch as the case may be, ready to billow over at any moment into violence.America likes to think it is the best at everything, but the fact is that the United States may not be capable of developing a world class hooligan class. Soccer dominates the sporting landscape in Europe and South America. Other sports exist, sure, and have followings, but as far as engendering full-throated passion from large segments of society? Soccer is it. All of a community’s rage, all of its insecurities and perceived slights, all of its heartache and broken dreams, all of its prejudices and biases, everything negative can be directed with laser-sighted focus on the pitch, or at a pub near the pitch as the case may be, ready to billow over at any moment into violence.
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In America, there is no singular team sport. The NFL is the most popular league, but throughout the entire Southeast it’s actually college football that is more popular. The NBA has its own large following. As does Major League Baseball. The NHL and college basketball have devoted fanbases, as well. And then there’s the growing popularity of MLS.In America, there is no singular team sport. The NFL is the most popular league, but throughout the entire Southeast it’s actually college football that is more popular. The NBA has its own large following. As does Major League Baseball. The NHL and college basketball have devoted fanbases, as well. And then there’s the growing popularity of MLS.
Many American sports fans have three or four favorite teams they all support equally with the seasons all overlapping. Your football team can lose on Sunday, but your hockey team win Monday. You can be a “diehard” fan of each team in your town, but to back all four teams to a hooligan level, necessitating violence, destruction of property and blinding hatred of rival clubs year-round? That’s exhausting. Few people have the energy for that kind of day-in, day-out, blood thirsty support. Even hooligans need to eat and sleep and occasionally go to work.Many American sports fans have three or four favorite teams they all support equally with the seasons all overlapping. Your football team can lose on Sunday, but your hockey team win Monday. You can be a “diehard” fan of each team in your town, but to back all four teams to a hooligan level, necessitating violence, destruction of property and blinding hatred of rival clubs year-round? That’s exhausting. Few people have the energy for that kind of day-in, day-out, blood thirsty support. Even hooligans need to eat and sleep and occasionally go to work.
America’s gun culture may also contribute to the nation’s lack of hooligan culture. When you can spend your evenings blowing off steam by blasting cans off a fence – or spend your vacations from your dental practice killing lions for amusement – the urge to break a bottle over the head of a person who happens to like a different team may not be quite as strong. And, really, why risk breaking a bottle over the head of a person who may very well be carrying an assault weapon? Those with hooligan inclinations may be drunk and insane, but they’re not stupid.America’s gun culture may also contribute to the nation’s lack of hooligan culture. When you can spend your evenings blowing off steam by blasting cans off a fence – or spend your vacations from your dental practice killing lions for amusement – the urge to break a bottle over the head of a person who happens to like a different team may not be quite as strong. And, really, why risk breaking a bottle over the head of a person who may very well be carrying an assault weapon? Those with hooligan inclinations may be drunk and insane, but they’re not stupid.
The US has the world’s best women’s soccer team. It has a pro league that continues to grow in global stature. It has a men’s program with the potential to be a true contender in the World Cup in the next generation. It has all that, but it will never be a true world player in hooliganism. We simply have no chance. We’re bringing sandwich boards to a severed pig’s head fight. The US has the world’s best women’s soccer team. It has a pro league that continues to grow in global stature. It has a men’s program with the potential to be a true contender in the World Cup in the next generation. It has all that, but it will never be a true world player in hooliganism. We simply have no chance. We’re bringing sandwich boards to a severed pig’s head fight.