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Go to Hell: town offers free weddings but anniversaries will be a problem Go to Hell: town offers free weddings but anniversaries will be a problem
(32 minutes later)
Hell, Michigan is offering a limited-time marriage deal: 29 free weddings on leap day, 29 February, at 2.29pmHell, Michigan is offering a limited-time marriage deal: 29 free weddings on leap day, 29 February, at 2.29pm
I have heard it said that there is no point in going to Heaven, because all the cool people will be in Hell. I now know this is probably not true – because not everyone would fit: Hell is a tiny town with a population of only 70,000, in Michigan. I have heard it said there’s no point in going to heaven, because all the cool people will be in hell. I now know this is probably not true – because not everyone would fit: Hell is a tiny town with a population of only 70 people in Michigan.
It’s also a place where you can get married for free. Which sounds like a good deal: as the popular Netflix movie Marriage Story makes marriage seem like the seventh circle of Dante’s inferno – so it’s a wonder anyone still pays for the privilege. It’s also a place where you can get married for free. Which sounds like a good deal, since the the popular Netflix movie Marriage Story makes marriage seem like the seventh circle of Dante’s inferno. It’s a wonder anyone still pays for the privilege.
Next week, on 29 February at 2.29 PM, 29 free weddings are up for grabs, for anyone who fancies getting married in Hell. It’s a leap day, so they’ll only have an anniversary every four years – but maybe the presents will be better. Next week, on 29 February at 2.29pm, 29 free weddings are up for grabs for anyone who fancies getting married in Hell. It’s a leap day, so they’ll only have an anniversary every four years – but maybe the presents will be better.
Where do we sign up? There is actually a process for that – one just needs to text the officiating Reverand, with their full name, address and confirmation they have secured a valid marriage license – according to the Detroit Free Press. Where do we sign up? There’s actually a process for that – one just needs to text the officiating reverend with their full name, address and confirmation they have secured a valid marriage license – according to the Detroit Free Press.
Hells’ Reverand, Yvonne Williams, who will officiate the ceremony next week, has a positive outlook on the whole affair: “When you get married in Hell, there’s nowhere for your marriage to go but up,” she says. There is, in fact, a 40% chance it will end in divorce – so I guess she hit the nail on the head. The Rev Yvonne Williams, who will officiate the ceremony next week, has a positive outlook on the whole affair. “When you get married in Hell, there’s nowhere for your marriage to go but up,” she says. There is, in fact, a 40% chance it will end in divorce – so I guess she hit the nail on the head.
It’s not the first time that Hell has been in the news. In 2017, one-time Mayor and one-time owner of Hell (more on that later), Elijah Daniel declared heterosexuality illegal in the town. Which is infuriating – because feeling constantly seen and heard can be exhausting enough as it is for straight person, OK? – but also, Hell looks like a pretty fun place to live. It’s not the first time Hell has been in the news. In 2017, one-time mayor and one-time owner of Hell (more on that later) Elijah Daniel declared heterosexuality illegal in the town. Which is infuriating – feeling constantly seen and heard can be exhausting enough as it is for straight person, OK? – but also, Hell looks like a pretty fun place to live.
Elijah paid town organizers to make him Mayor of Hell in 2017 and, as everyone who becomes Mayor of Hell does, was impeached shortly after the stunt. Which if today’s politics is anything to go by, means nothing anyway – all hail Mayor Daniel of the town of Hell! Elijah paid town organizers to make him the mayor of Hell in 2017; he was impeached shortly after the stunt. Which, if today’s politics is anything to go by, means nothing anyway – all hail Mayor Daniel of the town of Hell!
Daniel came back two years later and bought the town – anyone can become owner of Hell (for a limited amount of time) by going on their website and paying a fee. He renamed it Gay Hell and said only pride flags could fly there after the Trump administration banned embassies flying pride flags. Daniel came back two years later and bought the town – anyone can become owner of Hell (for a limited amount of time) by going on its website and paying a fee. He renamed it Gay Hell and said only pride flags could fly there after the Trump administration banned embassies flying pride flags.
So, you might call Trump and Daniel a match made in Hell. Needless to say, I don’t expect to see the two married anytime soon. So, you might call Trump and Daniel a match made in Hell. Needless to say, I don’t expect to see the two married any time soon.
Anyway, the temperature is currently below zero in Hell, so if you’ve been thinking for a while, “Yeah, right, I’ll marry that guy, when Hell freezes over” now just might be your time.Anyway, the temperature is currently below zero in Hell, so if you’ve been thinking for a while, “Yeah, right, I’ll marry that guy, when Hell freezes over” now just might be your time.