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Why I’m Letting My 7-Year-Old Fast During Ramadan Why I’m Letting My 7-Year-Old Fast During Ramadan
(1 day later)
Grieving the loss of a communal Ramadan, I found myself stuck with a self-created problem. Ramadan is the carrot I dangled before my daughters’ eyes when they stared longingly at gifts stacked under Christmas trees or at baskets of colorful Easter eggs. The math is unbeatable, I told them, Ramadan entails 28 nights of festivities followed by three days of gift exchange. During a pandemic, though, there are no gatherings after sunset for iftar, the fast-breaking meal, or rows of worshipers standing shoulder-to-shoulder in nighttime prayer. Fasting in isolation is depressing.Grieving the loss of a communal Ramadan, I found myself stuck with a self-created problem. Ramadan is the carrot I dangled before my daughters’ eyes when they stared longingly at gifts stacked under Christmas trees or at baskets of colorful Easter eggs. The math is unbeatable, I told them, Ramadan entails 28 nights of festivities followed by three days of gift exchange. During a pandemic, though, there are no gatherings after sunset for iftar, the fast-breaking meal, or rows of worshipers standing shoulder-to-shoulder in nighttime prayer. Fasting in isolation is depressing.
In a failed attempt at making Ramadan-in-quarantine relatable, I earmarked pages of my daughters’ religious books. Surely stories of Islamic prophets praying in solitude would inspire wonder. But neither Jonah’s repentance from inside a fish’s belly nor the mountaintop revelation of sacred texts to Muhammad and Moses sparked a connection. The girls, 4 and 7, listened for a few minutes, then quickly moved on to more engaging tasks. With no friends or Capri Sun to keep matters interesting, my efforts were a disappointing version of Sunday school.In a failed attempt at making Ramadan-in-quarantine relatable, I earmarked pages of my daughters’ religious books. Surely stories of Islamic prophets praying in solitude would inspire wonder. But neither Jonah’s repentance from inside a fish’s belly nor the mountaintop revelation of sacred texts to Muhammad and Moses sparked a connection. The girls, 4 and 7, listened for a few minutes, then quickly moved on to more engaging tasks. With no friends or Capri Sun to keep matters interesting, my efforts were a disappointing version of Sunday school.
We pressed on with our pre-Ramadan rituals. We strung lights, created prayer nooks and rolled out festive linen for the iftar table. My 7-year-old sat in a kitchen corner, folding meat-filled dough into triangular shaped samosas, like I had done decades earlier in my mother’s kitchen. Biting off the crisp edge of a samosa, she asked excitedly, “Mama, will you wake me up before Fajr so I can fast, too?”We pressed on with our pre-Ramadan rituals. We strung lights, created prayer nooks and rolled out festive linen for the iftar table. My 7-year-old sat in a kitchen corner, folding meat-filled dough into triangular shaped samosas, like I had done decades earlier in my mother’s kitchen. Biting off the crisp edge of a samosa, she asked excitedly, “Mama, will you wake me up before Fajr so I can fast, too?”
Fajr is the dawn canonical prayer, one that I encourage her to observe (by bribing her with Twisty Petz), but she prefers sleeping in. I hesitated, wanting to respond with a straightforward “no”; fasting for 15 hours is arduous for adults, it would be nearly impossible for a child. Reluctant but curious, I asked, “Why do you want to fast, beta?”Fajr is the dawn canonical prayer, one that I encourage her to observe (by bribing her with Twisty Petz), but she prefers sleeping in. I hesitated, wanting to respond with a straightforward “no”; fasting for 15 hours is arduous for adults, it would be nearly impossible for a child. Reluctant but curious, I asked, “Why do you want to fast, beta?”
“Because, Mama, so we can know what it feels like to not have food like the people who don’t have food and are hungry!”“Because, Mama, so we can know what it feels like to not have food like the people who don’t have food and are hungry!”
Her empathetic response caught me off guard; she was connecting with a world outside of her world of abundance. As a pediatric doctor, I have witnessed children lean into belief in the unseen when faced with crushing medical diagnoses. I assumed hardship accelerated early spirituality, the ability to transcend religiosity and foster a relationship with a higher being, motivating humans to contribute to the greater good.Her empathetic response caught me off guard; she was connecting with a world outside of her world of abundance. As a pediatric doctor, I have witnessed children lean into belief in the unseen when faced with crushing medical diagnoses. I assumed hardship accelerated early spirituality, the ability to transcend religiosity and foster a relationship with a higher being, motivating humans to contribute to the greater good.
Fasting during Ramadan is a pillar of the Islamic faith, but it is not required for children. I had to tackle my biases before attempting to offer any spiritual guidance. My daughters’ pain is notoriously unbearable for me; I cry when they receive routine immunizations (now a running joke at my clinic). Witnessing my child’s hunger would be particularly agonizing, and any threat imposed by fasting to her physical development would be prohibitive. But I could not ignore my daughter’s request to fast — her reasoning was evidence of nascent spirituality.Fasting during Ramadan is a pillar of the Islamic faith, but it is not required for children. I had to tackle my biases before attempting to offer any spiritual guidance. My daughters’ pain is notoriously unbearable for me; I cry when they receive routine immunizations (now a running joke at my clinic). Witnessing my child’s hunger would be particularly agonizing, and any threat imposed by fasting to her physical development would be prohibitive. But I could not ignore my daughter’s request to fast — her reasoning was evidence of nascent spirituality.
Attending to her physiological needs would be easy, I justified, especially now that we’re together all the time in quarantine. Like I do for my patients, I can manipulate her meals to make them nutritionally dense, and monitor her fluid balance, adjusting it to her weight and energy demands during the eating windows.Attending to her physiological needs would be easy, I justified, especially now that we’re together all the time in quarantine. Like I do for my patients, I can manipulate her meals to make them nutritionally dense, and monitor her fluid balance, adjusting it to her weight and energy demands during the eating windows.
I decided to honor my daughter’s decision to abstain from food and water for however long she chooses — be it 30 minutes, a few hours or the whole day. Fasting without reflection, however, is just starvation. Attempting to provoke thoughtfulness, she and I wrote “reflection prompts” on folded pieces of paper. Enthusiastic about a new ritual, she beamed at the anticipation of opening a new note at every iftar.I decided to honor my daughter’s decision to abstain from food and water for however long she chooses — be it 30 minutes, a few hours or the whole day. Fasting without reflection, however, is just starvation. Attempting to provoke thoughtfulness, she and I wrote “reflection prompts” on folded pieces of paper. Enthusiastic about a new ritual, she beamed at the anticipation of opening a new note at every iftar.
The prompts are brief, as everything that stands between hunger and a meal must be, but they ask big questions: What is something nice you heard or did today? What does it feel like to wait before eating? What are some things you did to stop thinking about food? What was the hardest thing you did while fasting? Is it easier being kind or being mean when you’re hungry?The prompts are brief, as everything that stands between hunger and a meal must be, but they ask big questions: What is something nice you heard or did today? What does it feel like to wait before eating? What are some things you did to stop thinking about food? What was the hardest thing you did while fasting? Is it easier being kind or being mean when you’re hungry?
Updated June 16, 2020Updated June 16, 2020
The steroid, dexamethasone, is the first treatment shown to reduce mortality in severely ill patients, according to scientists in Britain. The drug appears to reduce inflammation caused by the immune system, protecting the tissues. In the study, dexamethasone reduced deaths of patients on ventilators by one-third, and deaths of patients on oxygen by one-fifth.
The coronavirus emergency relief package gives many American workers paid leave if they need to take time off because of the virus. It gives qualified workers two weeks of paid sick leave if they are ill, quarantined or seeking diagnosis or preventive care for coronavirus, or if they are caring for sick family members. It gives 12 weeks of paid leave to people caring for children whose schools are closed or whose child care provider is unavailable because of the coronavirus. It is the first time the United States has had widespread federally mandated paid leave, and includes people who don’t typically get such benefits, like part-time and gig economy workers. But the measure excludes at least half of private-sector workers, including those at the country’s largest employers, and gives small employers significant leeway to deny leave.The coronavirus emergency relief package gives many American workers paid leave if they need to take time off because of the virus. It gives qualified workers two weeks of paid sick leave if they are ill, quarantined or seeking diagnosis or preventive care for coronavirus, or if they are caring for sick family members. It gives 12 weeks of paid leave to people caring for children whose schools are closed or whose child care provider is unavailable because of the coronavirus. It is the first time the United States has had widespread federally mandated paid leave, and includes people who don’t typically get such benefits, like part-time and gig economy workers. But the measure excludes at least half of private-sector workers, including those at the country’s largest employers, and gives small employers significant leeway to deny leave.
So far, the evidence seems to show it does. A widely cited paper published in April suggests that people are most infectious about two days before the onset of coronavirus symptoms and estimated that 44 percent of new infections were a result of transmission from people who were not yet showing symptoms. Recently, a top expert at the World Health Organization stated that transmission of the coronavirus by people who did not have symptoms was “very rare,” but she later walked back that statement.So far, the evidence seems to show it does. A widely cited paper published in April suggests that people are most infectious about two days before the onset of coronavirus symptoms and estimated that 44 percent of new infections were a result of transmission from people who were not yet showing symptoms. Recently, a top expert at the World Health Organization stated that transmission of the coronavirus by people who did not have symptoms was “very rare,” but she later walked back that statement.
Touching contaminated objects and then infecting ourselves with the germs is not typically how the virus spreads. But it can happen. A number of studies of flu, rhinovirus, coronavirus and other microbes have shown that respiratory illnesses, including the new coronavirus, can spread by touching contaminated surfaces, particularly in places like day care centers, offices and hospitals. But a long chain of events has to happen for the disease to spread that way. The best way to protect yourself from coronavirus — whether it’s surface transmission or close human contact — is still social distancing, washing your hands, not touching your face and wearing masks.Touching contaminated objects and then infecting ourselves with the germs is not typically how the virus spreads. But it can happen. A number of studies of flu, rhinovirus, coronavirus and other microbes have shown that respiratory illnesses, including the new coronavirus, can spread by touching contaminated surfaces, particularly in places like day care centers, offices and hospitals. But a long chain of events has to happen for the disease to spread that way. The best way to protect yourself from coronavirus — whether it’s surface transmission or close human contact — is still social distancing, washing your hands, not touching your face and wearing masks.
A study by European scientists is the first to document a strong statistical link between genetic variations and Covid-19, the illness caused by the coronavirus. Having Type A blood was linked to a 50 percent increase in the likelihood that a patient would need to get oxygen or to go on a ventilator, according to the new study.A study by European scientists is the first to document a strong statistical link between genetic variations and Covid-19, the illness caused by the coronavirus. Having Type A blood was linked to a 50 percent increase in the likelihood that a patient would need to get oxygen or to go on a ventilator, according to the new study.
The unemployment rate fell to 13.3 percent in May, the Labor Department said on June 5, an unexpected improvement in the nation’s job market as hiring rebounded faster than economists expected. Economists had forecast the unemployment rate to increase to as much as 20 percent, after it hit 14.7 percent in April, which was the highest since the government began keeping official statistics after World War II. But the unemployment rate dipped instead, with employers adding 2.5 million jobs, after more than 20 million jobs were lost in April.The unemployment rate fell to 13.3 percent in May, the Labor Department said on June 5, an unexpected improvement in the nation’s job market as hiring rebounded faster than economists expected. Economists had forecast the unemployment rate to increase to as much as 20 percent, after it hit 14.7 percent in April, which was the highest since the government began keeping official statistics after World War II. But the unemployment rate dipped instead, with employers adding 2.5 million jobs, after more than 20 million jobs were lost in April.
Mass protests against police brutality that have brought thousands of people onto the streets in cities across America are raising the specter of new coronavirus outbreaks, prompting political leaders, physicians and public health experts to warn that the crowds could cause a surge in cases. While many political leaders affirmed the right of protesters to express themselves, they urged the demonstrators to wear face masks and maintain social distancing, both to protect themselves and to prevent further community spread of the virus. Some infectious disease experts were reassured by the fact that the protests were held outdoors, saying the open air settings could mitigate the risk of transmission.Mass protests against police brutality that have brought thousands of people onto the streets in cities across America are raising the specter of new coronavirus outbreaks, prompting political leaders, physicians and public health experts to warn that the crowds could cause a surge in cases. While many political leaders affirmed the right of protesters to express themselves, they urged the demonstrators to wear face masks and maintain social distancing, both to protect themselves and to prevent further community spread of the virus. Some infectious disease experts were reassured by the fact that the protests were held outdoors, saying the open air settings could mitigate the risk of transmission.
States are reopening bit by bit. This means that more public spaces are available for use and more and more businesses are being allowed to open again. The federal government is largely leaving the decision up to states, and some state leaders are leaving the decision up to local authorities. Even if you aren’t being told to stay at home, it’s still a good idea to limit trips outside and your interaction with other people.States are reopening bit by bit. This means that more public spaces are available for use and more and more businesses are being allowed to open again. The federal government is largely leaving the decision up to states, and some state leaders are leaving the decision up to local authorities. Even if you aren’t being told to stay at home, it’s still a good idea to limit trips outside and your interaction with other people.
Common symptoms include fever, a dry cough, fatigue and difficulty breathing or shortness of breath. Some of these symptoms overlap with those of the flu, making detection difficult, but runny noses and stuffy sinuses are less common. The C.D.C. has also added chills, muscle pain, sore throat, headache and a new loss of the sense of taste or smell as symptoms to look out for. Most people fall ill five to seven days after exposure, but symptoms may appear in as few as two days or as many as 14 days.Common symptoms include fever, a dry cough, fatigue and difficulty breathing or shortness of breath. Some of these symptoms overlap with those of the flu, making detection difficult, but runny noses and stuffy sinuses are less common. The C.D.C. has also added chills, muscle pain, sore throat, headache and a new loss of the sense of taste or smell as symptoms to look out for. Most people fall ill five to seven days after exposure, but symptoms may appear in as few as two days or as many as 14 days.
If air travel is unavoidable, there are some steps you can take to protect yourself. Most important: Wash your hands often, and stop touching your face. If possible, choose a window seat. A study from Emory University found that during flu season, the safest place to sit on a plane is by a window, as people sitting in window seats had less contact with potentially sick people. Disinfect hard surfaces. When you get to your seat and your hands are clean, use disinfecting wipes to clean the hard surfaces at your seat like the head and arm rest, the seatbelt buckle, the remote, screen, seat back pocket and the tray table. If the seat is hard and nonporous or leather or pleather, you can wipe that down, too. (Using wipes on upholstered seats could lead to a wet seat and spreading of germs rather than killing them.)If air travel is unavoidable, there are some steps you can take to protect yourself. Most important: Wash your hands often, and stop touching your face. If possible, choose a window seat. A study from Emory University found that during flu season, the safest place to sit on a plane is by a window, as people sitting in window seats had less contact with potentially sick people. Disinfect hard surfaces. When you get to your seat and your hands are clean, use disinfecting wipes to clean the hard surfaces at your seat like the head and arm rest, the seatbelt buckle, the remote, screen, seat back pocket and the tray table. If the seat is hard and nonporous or leather or pleather, you can wipe that down, too. (Using wipes on upholstered seats could lead to a wet seat and spreading of germs rather than killing them.)
Taking one’s temperature to look for signs of fever is not as easy as it sounds, as “normal” temperature numbers can vary, but generally, keep an eye out for a temperature of 100.5 degrees Fahrenheit or higher. If you don’t have a thermometer (they can be pricey these days), there are other ways to figure out if you have a fever, or are at risk of Covid-19 complications.Taking one’s temperature to look for signs of fever is not as easy as it sounds, as “normal” temperature numbers can vary, but generally, keep an eye out for a temperature of 100.5 degrees Fahrenheit or higher. If you don’t have a thermometer (they can be pricey these days), there are other ways to figure out if you have a fever, or are at risk of Covid-19 complications.
The C.D.C. has recommended that all Americans wear cloth masks if they go out in public. This is a shift in federal guidance reflecting new concerns that the coronavirus is being spread by infected people who have no symptoms. Until now, the C.D.C., like the W.H.O., has advised that ordinary people don’t need to wear masks unless they are sick and coughing. Part of the reason was to preserve medical-grade masks for health care workers who desperately need them at a time when they are in continuously short supply. Masks don’t replace hand washing and social distancing.The C.D.C. has recommended that all Americans wear cloth masks if they go out in public. This is a shift in federal guidance reflecting new concerns that the coronavirus is being spread by infected people who have no symptoms. Until now, the C.D.C., like the W.H.O., has advised that ordinary people don’t need to wear masks unless they are sick and coughing. Part of the reason was to preserve medical-grade masks for health care workers who desperately need them at a time when they are in continuously short supply. Masks don’t replace hand washing and social distancing.
If you’ve been exposed to the coronavirus or think you have, and have a fever or symptoms like a cough or difficulty breathing, call a doctor. They should give you advice on whether you should be tested, how to get tested, and how to seek medical treatment without potentially infecting or exposing others.If you’ve been exposed to the coronavirus or think you have, and have a fever or symptoms like a cough or difficulty breathing, call a doctor. They should give you advice on whether you should be tested, how to get tested, and how to seek medical treatment without potentially infecting or exposing others.
If you’re sick and you think you’ve been exposed to the new coronavirus, the C.D.C. recommends that you call your healthcare provider and explain your symptoms and fears. They will decide if you need to be tested. Keep in mind that there’s a chance — because of a lack of testing kits or because you’re asymptomatic, for instance — you won’t be able to get tested.If you’re sick and you think you’ve been exposed to the new coronavirus, the C.D.C. recommends that you call your healthcare provider and explain your symptoms and fears. They will decide if you need to be tested. Keep in mind that there’s a chance — because of a lack of testing kits or because you’re asymptomatic, for instance — you won’t be able to get tested.
These questions reveal the lessons of fasting, which are not different from the ones of weathering a pandemic: If you look for ease during hardship, you will find it; reflection makes the mundane spiritual; patience requires practice (and distraction); and kindness is always a choice, even when we have no control.These questions reveal the lessons of fasting, which are not different from the ones of weathering a pandemic: If you look for ease during hardship, you will find it; reflection makes the mundane spiritual; patience requires practice (and distraction); and kindness is always a choice, even when we have no control.
The math of this Ramadan-in-quarantine is unbeatable: simplifying the food on our iftar table, adding a bowl full of notes to reflect on and multiplying the understanding of our tiny place in this big world.The math of this Ramadan-in-quarantine is unbeatable: simplifying the food on our iftar table, adding a bowl full of notes to reflect on and multiplying the understanding of our tiny place in this big world.
Asiya Shakir is a mother of two girls and a pediatric gastroenterologist in Atlanta. She is also a Muslim community organizer with an educational background in religion and psychology.Asiya Shakir is a mother of two girls and a pediatric gastroenterologist in Atlanta. She is also a Muslim community organizer with an educational background in religion and psychology.