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| Version 1 | Version 2 |
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| Being a stay-at home dad 'tiring but very rewarding' | Being a stay-at home dad 'tiring but very rewarding' |
| (40 minutes later) | |
| From April, fathers will be able to share maternity leave with their wives. Currently they get just two weeks off after a child is born, while women can take up to a year. So what is it like being a stay-at home dad? | From April, fathers will be able to share maternity leave with their wives. Currently they get just two weeks off after a child is born, while women can take up to a year. So what is it like being a stay-at home dad? |
| "At first, my dad kept sending me the jobs pages from the Telegraph," says Thom Chesser. | "At first, my dad kept sending me the jobs pages from the Telegraph," says Thom Chesser. |
| "I don't think he was really sure what I was doing all day. Then he looked after his two nephews for a week and realised I already had a full-time job." | "I don't think he was really sure what I was doing all day. Then he looked after his two nephews for a week and realised I already had a full-time job." |
| Thom, 41, has two boys, Jacob, four, and Isaac, two, and another child on the way. His wife Ann is a personnel manager for Network Rail and they live in London. | Thom, 41, has two boys, Jacob, four, and Isaac, two, and another child on the way. His wife Ann is a personnel manager for Network Rail and they live in London. |
| After what he admits was an "eclectic" job history - including working as an agent for circus performers and a graphic designer for a bank - he gave up work in 2006, just before Jacob was born. | After what he admits was an "eclectic" job history - including working as an agent for circus performers and a graphic designer for a bank - he gave up work in 2006, just before Jacob was born. |
| "The childcare costs were about what I was making and Ann wasn't keen to leave him in a nursery all day, so when she asked me I was more than happy to do it. | "The childcare costs were about what I was making and Ann wasn't keen to leave him in a nursery all day, so when she asked me I was more than happy to do it. |
| "My job was mostly designing bits of paper that were going to be thrown away. It could be exciting when deadlines were looming, but ultimately it wasn't particularly fulfilling. | "My job was mostly designing bits of paper that were going to be thrown away. It could be exciting when deadlines were looming, but ultimately it wasn't particularly fulfilling. |
| "I was fearful in that I didn't know what it was going to be like, but I was convinced I could do it." | "I was fearful in that I didn't know what it was going to be like, but I was convinced I could do it." |
| 'Lots of lists' | 'Lots of lists' |
| Ann took six months' maternity leave and during that time Thom helped in any way he could. | Ann took six months' maternity leave and during that time Thom helped in any way he could. |
| "When she went back to work she wrote me lots and lots of lists about what I should be doing and I just got on with it." | "When she went back to work she wrote me lots and lots of lists about what I should be doing and I just got on with it." |
| A report released by Demos says new parents are increasingly relying on friends, rather than family, for support, and the government should do more to help them develop local networks. | A report released by Demos says new parents are increasingly relying on friends, rather than family, for support, and the government should do more to help them develop local networks. |
| Thom agrees. | Thom agrees. |
| "NCT (National Childbirth Trust) classes teach you to change a nappy, but they also introduce you to five other couples in your area who are about to have a baby. It's an instant support network. I also go to a group on Fridays called Dads and Little 'Uns, which I help run, and to another group on a Saturday morning. | |
| "If you go to a park there'll always be a group of mums with babies chatting and having coffee. There'll be some dads too, but they'll be on their own - they're less gregarious than women. So I've spent four years collecting them. If I see a dad with a buggy I'll always go up and talk to them." | "If you go to a park there'll always be a group of mums with babies chatting and having coffee. There'll be some dads too, but they'll be on their own - they're less gregarious than women. So I've spent four years collecting them. If I see a dad with a buggy I'll always go up and talk to them." |
| 'Marvellous' | 'Marvellous' |
| Being a stay-at-home dad has transformed Thom's personal and professional life, he's now taking an NVQ in childcare and wants to do a primary school teaching course. | Being a stay-at-home dad has transformed Thom's personal and professional life, he's now taking an NVQ in childcare and wants to do a primary school teaching course. |
| And apart from his slightly sceptical father - who is now fully on board - Thom says he has received almost universal support. | And apart from his slightly sceptical father - who is now fully on board - Thom says he has received almost universal support. |
| "I've had the odd comment from random blokes in the street, but that's it. Women are very supportive. They always say 'it's marvellous what you're doing'. And I think 'why? It's no more marvellous than you doing it.' | "I've had the odd comment from random blokes in the street, but that's it. Women are very supportive. They always say 'it's marvellous what you're doing'. And I think 'why? It's no more marvellous than you doing it.' |
| "Clearly it's hard work. The kids can be frustrating and I'm so tired, but every day they'll do something new, something I taught them, and that's very rewarding. | "Clearly it's hard work. The kids can be frustrating and I'm so tired, but every day they'll do something new, something I taught them, and that's very rewarding. |
| "It would be lovely if more men got the chance to spend more time with their children. Fathers tend to take longer to bond with babies, so it can only be a positive. It's tiring, but very rewarding thing. And even where dads do go to work, if they didn't have to work such long hours it would make a big difference." | "It would be lovely if more men got the chance to spend more time with their children. Fathers tend to take longer to bond with babies, so it can only be a positive. It's tiring, but very rewarding thing. And even where dads do go to work, if they didn't have to work such long hours it would make a big difference." |
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| I looked after our daughter between the age of 1 and 2yrs.It was the most rewarding thing I have done although extremely challenging. Will always be grateful for SureStart! Now have a baby son and although I will be unable to take such time off again due to financial reasons the time looking after my daughter has helped make me a better father to both our children, as well as a better husband. | |
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| I have the best of both worlds! I work a full 35 hour week but in 4 days, and spend Wednesdays at home with my youngest two children.Going to a mum and toddler group for the first time can be intimidating, but the mums have been great.I now see the kids when they are not tired, and I wish I had done it years ago.Anys dads considering this move, all I can say is DO IT! | |
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| As I earn significantly more than my fiancé, he will stay at home with our child / children when they arrive. He is looking forward to it and is great with kids. I am not cut out to be a stay at home mum so it works perfectly for us. There is nothing emasculating about being man enough to be a dad. | |
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