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| Hard Times in Spain Force Feuding Couples to Delay Divorce | Hard Times in Spain Force Feuding Couples to Delay Divorce |
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| SABADELL, SPAIN — Esther Fernández, 45, was desperate for a divorce. A hairdresser, she had fallen in love with another man, who was dying of cancer. | SABADELL, SPAIN — Esther Fernández, 45, was desperate for a divorce. A hairdresser, she had fallen in love with another man, who was dying of cancer. |
| Her husband, Gaby Cuadrado, 47, had lost his factory job. Selling their house in a depressed market in this sleepy city outside Barcelona was impossible. Neither could afford a second home. They were already struggling to pay their mortgage. An expensive divorce was out of the question. | Her husband, Gaby Cuadrado, 47, had lost his factory job. Selling their house in a depressed market in this sleepy city outside Barcelona was impossible. Neither could afford a second home. They were already struggling to pay their mortgage. An expensive divorce was out of the question. |
| So for two years she stuck it out, leaving before dawn, hiding from Mr. Cuadrado, who said he became so obsessed with his wife that he would spy on her from his car. She had panic attacks. “I felt trapped,” she said. | So for two years she stuck it out, leaving before dawn, hiding from Mr. Cuadrado, who said he became so obsessed with his wife that he would spy on her from his car. She had panic attacks. “I felt trapped,” she said. |
| It was even worse for him. The situation, Mr. Cuardado said, pushed him to the brink of suicide. “Being forced to live with a woman I loved who had rejected me was psychological torture,” he said. They finally divorced in November, after moving to tiny apartments in bad parts of town. | It was even worse for him. The situation, Mr. Cuardado said, pushed him to the brink of suicide. “Being forced to live with a woman I loved who had rejected me was psychological torture,” he said. They finally divorced in November, after moving to tiny apartments in bad parts of town. |
| If marriage is for better or worse, richer or poorer, then these are the worst of times for a poorer Spain. Couples are paying the emotional price, especially when they cannot afford the price of divorce. | If marriage is for better or worse, richer or poorer, then these are the worst of times for a poorer Spain. Couples are paying the emotional price, especially when they cannot afford the price of divorce. |
| Fewer of them can. Accounts from judges, divorce lawyers and therapists — as well as couples themselves — indicate that many Spaniards are staying in troubled relationships longer as a result of an economic crisis that has ground on for nearly five years. | Fewer of them can. Accounts from judges, divorce lawyers and therapists — as well as couples themselves — indicate that many Spaniards are staying in troubled relationships longer as a result of an economic crisis that has ground on for nearly five years. |
| Last year, the number of divorces in Spain dropped 17 percent compared with 2006, according to the Spanish Judicial Council, a national association that represents the country’s judges. The divorce rate jumped in 2006 after changes to the divorce law made it easier to split up in 2005, but it has fallen with the crisis in Spain’s economy, according to the council. | Last year, the number of divorces in Spain dropped 17 percent compared with 2006, according to the Spanish Judicial Council, a national association that represents the country’s judges. The divorce rate jumped in 2006 after changes to the divorce law made it easier to split up in 2005, but it has fallen with the crisis in Spain’s economy, according to the council. |
| “There is no doubt that the crisis is pushing people to stay together,” said José María Redondo, the council’s spokesman, who attributed the drop in the divorce rate to a burst housing bubble and hard economic times. | “There is no doubt that the crisis is pushing people to stay together,” said José María Redondo, the council’s spokesman, who attributed the drop in the divorce rate to a burst housing bubble and hard economic times. |
| The crisis is not only slowing divorces but also transforming the process, according to divorce lawyers. Judges are reducing alimony payments and dueling spouses have moved from fighting over property to sparring over the critical issue of who assumes debts. | The crisis is not only slowing divorces but also transforming the process, according to divorce lawyers. Judges are reducing alimony payments and dueling spouses have moved from fighting over property to sparring over the critical issue of who assumes debts. |
| Some couples are literally dividing their homes in two, by sticking tape across the floor, said Álvaro Cavia, a leading Barcelona-based divorce lawyer. Unable to afford a divorce, other couples live together even as they engage openly in other romantic relationships. | Some couples are literally dividing their homes in two, by sticking tape across the floor, said Álvaro Cavia, a leading Barcelona-based divorce lawyer. Unable to afford a divorce, other couples live together even as they engage openly in other romantic relationships. |
| Squabbles over money — or the lack of it — are the biggest source of contention among couples seeking to mend fraying relationships, according to Myka Pedrero, a family psychologist in a suburb of Barcelona, who counseled Ms. Fernández, her sister. | Squabbles over money — or the lack of it — are the biggest source of contention among couples seeking to mend fraying relationships, according to Myka Pedrero, a family psychologist in a suburb of Barcelona, who counseled Ms. Fernández, her sister. |
| It is worst for jobless couples, she said, not just because of the money strains, but because they often spend all day together at home, treading on each others’ nerves. When warring couples share the same quarters it is especially confusing for children unable to accept their parents’ break-ups, she said. | It is worst for jobless couples, she said, not just because of the money strains, but because they often spend all day together at home, treading on each others’ nerves. When warring couples share the same quarters it is especially confusing for children unable to accept their parents’ break-ups, she said. |
| “The crisis makes things worse as it adds huge pressures to marriages when you don’t have a job and can’t pay the bills,” she said. “When people who want to split are forced to stay together it pollutes the whole ecosystem that is the family and drives both the man and the woman crazy.” | “The crisis makes things worse as it adds huge pressures to marriages when you don’t have a job and can’t pay the bills,” she said. “When people who want to split are forced to stay together it pollutes the whole ecosystem that is the family and drives both the man and the woman crazy.” |
| Until the crisis exploded, legal experts say, divorce was widely accepted as the easiest exit from a bad marriage after decades during which it was prohibited during the Franco dictatorship. | Until the crisis exploded, legal experts say, divorce was widely accepted as the easiest exit from a bad marriage after decades during which it was prohibited during the Franco dictatorship. |
| Divorce was first legalized in Spain 1981 but the law required couples to legally separate first, a period of reflection aimed at safeguarding the family in a socially conservative, Catholic country. The change in the law in 2005 has allowed couples to get “express divorces” without any separation. Couples need to have been married for at least three months to qualify. | Divorce was first legalized in Spain 1981 but the law required couples to legally separate first, a period of reflection aimed at safeguarding the family in a socially conservative, Catholic country. The change in the law in 2005 has allowed couples to get “express divorces” without any separation. Couples need to have been married for at least three months to qualify. |
| Even when couples can afford a divorce, the economic crisis has added new complications. | Even when couples can afford a divorce, the economic crisis has added new complications. |
| María José Varela, a leading divorce lawyer and advocate of women’s rights, said that while in the past dueling spouses would fight over who got to keep the house, now her clients were fighting over who got to get rid of it, because neither wanted to be saddled with debt. | María José Varela, a leading divorce lawyer and advocate of women’s rights, said that while in the past dueling spouses would fight over who got to keep the house, now her clients were fighting over who got to get rid of it, because neither wanted to be saddled with debt. |
| Special post-divorce mortgage sharing agreements had now become a new key component of divorce settlements, she said. | Special post-divorce mortgage sharing agreements had now become a new key component of divorce settlements, she said. |
| In court, she said she had noticed that men were using the economic crisis to reduce alimony payments. Many judges, she said, were agreeing. Due to the crisis, she said, women were accepting less spousal support in return for demanding better custody rights. | In court, she said she had noticed that men were using the economic crisis to reduce alimony payments. Many judges, she said, were agreeing. Due to the crisis, she said, women were accepting less spousal support in return for demanding better custody rights. |
| Ms. Varela’s own fees, which range anywhere from €200 to €10,000 — or about $265 to $13,200 — depending on the size of the settlement, had also been severely truncated, she said. She and many other divorce lawyers were engaging in more pro bono work. More of her mostly female clients were paying by credit, she said. | Ms. Varela’s own fees, which range anywhere from €200 to €10,000 — or about $265 to $13,200 — depending on the size of the settlement, had also been severely truncated, she said. She and many other divorce lawyers were engaging in more pro bono work. More of her mostly female clients were paying by credit, she said. |
| Women are especially vulnerable, she said, since they typically earned less than their husbands, prompting them in some cases to remain in abusive relationships because of economic considerations. When they did leave, they were moving back in with their parents. | Women are especially vulnerable, she said, since they typically earned less than their husbands, prompting them in some cases to remain in abusive relationships because of economic considerations. When they did leave, they were moving back in with their parents. |
| Indeed, some women said that their husbands were using the bad economic times to financially and emotionally blackmail them into staying in loveless marriages. | Indeed, some women said that their husbands were using the bad economic times to financially and emotionally blackmail them into staying in loveless marriages. |
| Marta López, 31, said that when she demanded a divorce from her husband of four years, who had begun spending nights out and partying with friends, even when she was seriously ill, he refused and insisted she pay off the mortgage in return for her freedom — something she could not afford after losing her secretarial job. | Marta López, 31, said that when she demanded a divorce from her husband of four years, who had begun spending nights out and partying with friends, even when she was seriously ill, he refused and insisted she pay off the mortgage in return for her freedom — something she could not afford after losing her secretarial job. |
| So for a year and half she slept on the couch and ate mostly pasta and rice, until she could afford a divorce lawyer. “It was worth it to get my life back,” she said. | So for a year and half she slept on the couch and ate mostly pasta and rice, until she could afford a divorce lawyer. “It was worth it to get my life back,” she said. |
| Some divorced couples are even moving back in together for financial reasons. | Some divorced couples are even moving back in together for financial reasons. |
| María Teresa, a 44-year-old broadcast journalist, divorced in 2008 and moved from Barcelona to Madrid with her two sons. But after the crisis exploded and she lost her job, she decided in 2011 to move back in with her ex-husband, an unemployed art dealer. They pooled their unemployment benefits and rented a two-bedroom apartment for €900 a month, putting the savings toward food, school and soccer uniforms for their children. She asked that her last name not be used to avoid embarrassing her family. | María Teresa, a 44-year-old broadcast journalist, divorced in 2008 and moved from Barcelona to Madrid with her two sons. But after the crisis exploded and she lost her job, she decided in 2011 to move back in with her ex-husband, an unemployed art dealer. They pooled their unemployment benefits and rented a two-bedroom apartment for €900 a month, putting the savings toward food, school and soccer uniforms for their children. She asked that her last name not be used to avoid embarrassing her family. |
| The week her husband moved in, she said she could not stop crying. Since they are both jobless and stuck at home, she said that she was obsessively inventing situations so that she could be alone. | The week her husband moved in, she said she could not stop crying. Since they are both jobless and stuck at home, she said that she was obsessively inventing situations so that she could be alone. |
| “I have a boyfriend now, and he comes to stay at my place sometimes, and it’s not going to work out if my ex husband is around,” she said. | “I have a boyfriend now, and he comes to stay at my place sometimes, and it’s not going to work out if my ex husband is around,” she said. |
| Some Spaniards say the hard times may have at least one benefit. If the crisis helps preserve the Spanish family by making it harder to divorce, that was no bad thing, said Julián M. Valón, a pioneering divorce lawyer who helped write the country’s 1981 divorce law. | Some Spaniards say the hard times may have at least one benefit. If the crisis helps preserve the Spanish family by making it harder to divorce, that was no bad thing, said Julián M. Valón, a pioneering divorce lawyer who helped write the country’s 1981 divorce law. |
| “If there’s something positive about the economic crisis it is that people have less money to fight about than before,” he said, “and this could help people to stay together, even through the tough times.” | “If there’s something positive about the economic crisis it is that people have less money to fight about than before,” he said, “and this could help people to stay together, even through the tough times.” |
Silvia Taulés contributed reporting from Barcelona. |