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'I'd love to have my own place': young Europeans on the struggle to fly the nest | 'I'd love to have my own place': young Europeans on the struggle to fly the nest |
(34 minutes later) | |
Maria Farrel, 28, Kells, Dublin | Maria Farrel, 28, Kells, Dublin |
I wanted to go back to university | I wanted to go back to university |
as a mature student to study teaching and the only way I could afford to | as a mature student to study teaching and the only way I could afford to |
do it was to move back home. The everyday is fine as I get on well with my parents. We both understand it's not a | do it was to move back home. The everyday is fine as I get on well with my parents. We both understand it's not a |
long term thing, it's just until I finish university. I think they're | long term thing, it's just until I finish university. I think they're |
happy that they are able to help me achieve my dreams of becoming a teacher. | happy that they are able to help me achieve my dreams of becoming a teacher. |
They wouldn't be able to afford the €1000 or more it would cost for | They wouldn't be able to afford the €1000 or more it would cost for |
myself and my sister to rent near university, and I wouldn't ask them to | myself and my sister to rent near university, and I wouldn't ask them to |
pay it either, but this way they contribute in a huge way to my | pay it either, but this way they contribute in a huge way to my |
education. I know my mother didn't like the house being empty when I was | education. I know my mother didn't like the house being empty when I was |
living away as they bought dogs! | living away as they bought dogs! |
I don't pay rent but I | I don't pay rent but I |
contribute by buying groceries or heating oil for example. I don't | contribute by buying groceries or heating oil for example. I don't |
really have rules or chores. I guess it's like living with any | really have rules or chores. I guess it's like living with any |
housemates, where I clean up after myself and try to be quiet when I get in | housemates, where I clean up after myself and try to be quiet when I get in |
late or leave early. And it hasn't really had any impact on my social life. | late or leave early. And it hasn't really had any impact on my social life. |
Although I do miss having people over for dinner and too many bottles of | Although I do miss having people over for dinner and too many bottles of |
wine. That's hard to do when your Mum might pop in to put on the kettle | wine. That's hard to do when your Mum might pop in to put on the kettle |
at any given moment! | at any given moment! |
The benefits are mainly financial, although | The benefits are mainly financial, although |
it's nice to have my parents around. My dad always has great practical | it's nice to have my parents around. My dad always has great practical |
advice and nobody can comfort you after a bad day quite like your mum | advice and nobody can comfort you after a bad day quite like your mum |
can. The worst thing is the guilt I feel when a package from Asos.com | can. The worst thing is the guilt I feel when a package from Asos.com |
arrives and my mum says "shopping again were we?!" The worst thing is | arrives and my mum says "shopping again were we?!" The worst thing is |
other people's reactions with them pitying me because it must be awful | other people's reactions with them pitying me because it must be awful |
for me or acting like I'm a failure somehow. I tell them I'm living at | for me or acting like I'm a failure somehow. I tell them I'm living at |
home by choice and I'm lucky my parents are so supportive. | home by choice and I'm lucky my parents are so supportive. |
I don't | I don't |
find out until I've finished university. I think I'd be too stressed | find out until I've finished university. I think I'd be too stressed |
financially. As soon as I'm qualified and working again, I will | financially. As soon as I'm qualified and working again, I will |
definitely move out. | definitely move out. |
I think, even though they've lowered since | I think, even though they've lowered since |
the beginning of the recession, property prices and rent prices are | the beginning of the recession, property prices and rent prices are |
still too high. Too many young people are left relying on their parents | still too high. Too many young people are left relying on their parents |
for deposits for houses. The government offers rental assistance for | for deposits for houses. The government offers rental assistance for |
people on social welfare but does very little for students. In Dublin, | people on social welfare but does very little for students. In Dublin, |
on campus accommodation is extortionate at €4500 per year. No young | on campus accommodation is extortionate at €4500 per year. No young |
person can afford that kind of rental outgoing along with paying fees | person can afford that kind of rental outgoing along with paying fees |
and the cost of living. I think more should be done to help young people | and the cost of living. I think more should be done to help young people |
attend college. | attend college. |
Gaia Paradiso, 26, Piacenza, Italy | Gaia Paradiso, 26, Piacenza, Italy |
When I | When I |
was 17 my | was 17 my |
dad said to 'go and explore the world and find your way.' Now I'm back in | dad said to 'go and explore the world and find your way.' Now I'm back in |
Piacenza, the provincial city where I was born, and I'm living with | Piacenza, the provincial city where I was born, and I'm living with |
them again. | them again. |
The | The |
advantages of living with your parents are the love and affection they | advantages of living with your parents are the love and affection they |
give you. And also the fact that everything is ready for you: I like | give you. And also the fact that everything is ready for you: I like |
cooking, for example, but they help me. Both my parents work, but my mum | cooking, for example, but they help me. Both my parents work, but my mum |
takes care of the house as well. | takes care of the house as well. |
So when you | So when you |
wake up, you have your cappuccino; then you start working and you apply | wake up, you have your cappuccino; then you start working and you apply |
for jobs. You don't have to worry about the management of the house, which is nice. | for jobs. You don't have to worry about the management of the house, which is nice. |
But the | But the |
problem is you don't feel empowered. And I think for us, for young | problem is you don't feel empowered. And I think for us, for young |
people, it's really important to have the power to control your life and | people, it's really important to have the power to control your life and |
say: "I can do this. I can have a job but I can manage my private | say: "I can do this. I can have a job but I can manage my private |
life as well." | life as well." |
You need to | You need to |
be able to learn to do all these things, because at the end of the day | be able to learn to do all these things, because at the end of the day |
you would like to build a family. It's not my priority at the | you would like to build a family. It's not my priority at the |
moment, but it would be nice to be prepared. | moment, but it would be nice to be prepared. |
I came back to Piacenza at the end of January, after a six-months stint working in Brussels. | I came back to Piacenza at the end of January, after a six-months stint working in Brussels. |
Before | Before |
that I had been studying for a masters in international relations and | that I had been studying for a masters in international relations and |
political science in Florence, and before that I spent a wonderful year | political science in Florence, and before that I spent a wonderful year |
in Brazil working for the United Nations Development Programme. | in Brazil working for the United Nations Development Programme. |
By that | By that |
point, I already had one masters- in international management- and my | point, I already had one masters- in international management- and my |
original degree, from the university here in Piacenza, in economics and | original degree, from the university here in Piacenza, in economics and |
business management, which involved spending two years in Boston, in the | business management, which involved spending two years in Boston, in the |
United States. | United States. |
I speak five | I speak five |
languages: English, French, Spanish and Portuguese, plus Italian, my | languages: English, French, Spanish and Portuguese, plus Italian, my |
mother tongue. But I feel if I want to work internationally I need to | mother tongue. But I feel if I want to work internationally I need to |
speak more, like Chinese or Arabic. | speak more, like Chinese or Arabic. |
Sometimes, it feels like it's never | Sometimes, it feels like it's never |
enough, like I cannot really find my place in this world. | enough, like I cannot really find my place in this world. |
I | I |
have different volunteer activities, I am writing opinion pieces for | have different volunteer activities, I am writing opinion pieces for |
the local newspaper about the European elections in May, and am | the local newspaper about the European elections in May, and am |
helping my old university establish an alumni network for the economics | helping my old university establish an alumni network for the economics |
faculty. I am also helping to coordinate the official Italian youth | faculty. I am also helping to coordinate the official Italian youth |
delegation to the G8. | delegation to the G8. |
But my main | But my main |
focus is looking for a real job. When I came back here, I said to | focus is looking for a real job. When I came back here, I said to |
myself: "I am not going to spend lot of money. I am going to stay at | myself: "I am not going to spend lot of money. I am going to stay at |
home, I will cook at home and hopefully something will come up." | home, I will cook at home and hopefully something will come up." |
By now I have | By now I have |
applied for so many jobs as well as internships, again, in | applied for so many jobs as well as internships, again, in |
Italy as well as in Brussels and in London, where my brother is | Italy as well as in Brussels and in London, where my brother is |
studying. I send my CV and I keep calling to check if they received the | studying. I send my CV and I keep calling to check if they received the |
application, if we can have a Skype talk, or an interview at some | application, if we can have a Skype talk, or an interview at some |
point. | point. |
I don't give up. Because if I give up, it's not going to happen. I need to make it work. | I don't give up. Because if I give up, it's not going to happen. I need to make it work. |
I | I |
think our generation is suffering a lot from this. Because if you don't | think our generation is suffering a lot from this. Because if you don't |
have a job, you don't have a family, you cannot really lead your own | have a job, you don't have a family, you cannot really lead your own |
life. If you have a job, then everything follows. I don't want to be | life. If you have a job, then everything follows. I don't want to be |
rich, but I would like to have enough to continue my life and build | rich, but I would like to have enough to continue my life and build |
something. | something. |
Daniel de Reybekill, 22, Birmingham, UK | Daniel de Reybekill, 22, Birmingham, UK |
I live with my | I live with my |
parents in a three | parents in a three |
bedroom house which my mum and step dad have had for over a decade. My | bedroom house which my mum and step dad have had for over a decade. My |
mum is in her mid-forties and my step dad who is in his mid-fifties works from home. I have one sister who is 23, a second year | mum is in her mid-forties and my step dad who is in his mid-fifties works from home. I have one sister who is 23, a second year |
arts student who lives between home and her boyfriend's house across the | arts student who lives between home and her boyfriend's house across the |
street. Both her and I pay rent. | street. Both her and I pay rent. |
When I graduated I hoped to | When I graduated I hoped to |
find stable work, save up and travel like many young people nowadays. | find stable work, save up and travel like many young people nowadays. |
Unfortunately the part time summer job I had didn't want to | Unfortunately the part time summer job I had didn't want to |
retrain me, while the music reviewing and blogs I was passionate about, | retrain me, while the music reviewing and blogs I was passionate about, |
just wasn't paying. I ended up spending six months looking for work | just wasn't paying. I ended up spending six months looking for work |
unsuccessfully. After Christmas I finally signed on to Job Seekers | unsuccessfully. After Christmas I finally signed on to Job Seekers |
Allowance. Many people complained about the paperwork, the hassle and | Allowance. Many people complained about the paperwork, the hassle and |
the others on Job Seekers, but I actually found them very helpful. | the others on Job Seekers, but I actually found them very helpful. |
During | During |
my time in their hands, I was motivated to look in more appropriate | my time in their hands, I was motivated to look in more appropriate |
areas, helped with my CV, and although the bar and waiting job I | areas, helped with my CV, and although the bar and waiting job I |
started recently was not found directly through their Universal Job | started recently was not found directly through their Universal Job |
Match website, I doubt I would have found it without their help. I | Match website, I doubt I would have found it without their help. I |
spent three months on Job Seekers Allowance where the £40 a week rent I | spent three months on Job Seekers Allowance where the £40 a week rent I |
would have paid was waved by my parents. Now I am paying it again but | would have paid was waved by my parents. Now I am paying it again but |
now it's my own well earned money. | now it's my own well earned money. |
Mum knows being back | Mum knows being back |
home makes sense but she is anxious for me and is aware that it's important for | home makes sense but she is anxious for me and is aware that it's important for |
both my sister and I to spread our wings. As a parent with low income, | both my sister and I to spread our wings. As a parent with low income, |
she finds it tough financially, but she is always going to help us where | she finds it tough financially, but she is always going to help us where |
she can. Typical day involves a list of a few normal house | she can. Typical day involves a list of a few normal house |
keeping jobs; some shopping that might need doing, cleaning the fire out | keeping jobs; some shopping that might need doing, cleaning the fire out |
and so on. I do miss inviting | and so on. I do miss inviting |
friends around. It's had a big impact on my almost non-existent social life | friends around. It's had a big impact on my almost non-existent social life |
now, apart from a drink in town with a couple of friends every other | now, apart from a drink in town with a couple of friends every other |
week I sometimes feel like I rattle around the house. Building a | week I sometimes feel like I rattle around the house. Building a |
structured day or week, and sticking to it is a huge help in stopping | structured day or week, and sticking to it is a huge help in stopping |
yourself getting bored stiff and becoming a couch potato. I enjoy | yourself getting bored stiff and becoming a couch potato. I enjoy |
cooking, cycling and writing which I fit in between part time work. | cooking, cycling and writing which I fit in between part time work. |
I spent a couple of months really struggling mentally, before I was | I spent a couple of months really struggling mentally, before I was |
able to build up confidence and start feeling happy again. I read | able to build up confidence and start feeling happy again. I read |
somewhere that people who end up as long term unemployed, the risks of | somewhere that people who end up as long term unemployed, the risks of |
mental instability increase rather worryingly. | mental instability increase rather worryingly. |
I would love | I would love |
to move out. If I could move out tomorrow I would in an instant. But I | to move out. If I could move out tomorrow I would in an instant. But I |
don't have the money or the job security to be able to make a financial | don't have the money or the job security to be able to make a financial |
commitment of that size. Zero hour contracts may do wonders for the figures but it does nothing for the | commitment of that size. Zero hour contracts may do wonders for the figures but it does nothing for the |
thousands like me who are stuck at home, or at the very bottom of the | thousands like me who are stuck at home, or at the very bottom of the |
property ladder. There needs to be a change in the way jobs are freed up | property ladder. There needs to be a change in the way jobs are freed up |
higher up the system, instead of just at entry level. Whether it's | higher up the system, instead of just at entry level. Whether it's |
related to the retirement age I couldn't comment, but there are more | related to the retirement age I couldn't comment, but there are more |
people working, and for longer than ever before. | people working, and for longer than ever before. |
Elisa, 31 | Elisa, 31 |
I live in a | I live in a |
duplex house with my parents. I'm | duplex house with my parents. I'm |
living with my parents because I have no choice. I have a low salary, and I | living with my parents because I have no choice. I have a low salary, and I |
don't have the possibility to get a mortgage. My fiancé is working, but the company he works in is close to | don't have the possibility to get a mortgage. My fiancé is working, but the company he works in is close to |
bankruptcy. We can't buy a house, and we can't even rent one: we don't have | bankruptcy. We can't buy a house, and we can't even rent one: we don't have |
enough guarantees. | enough guarantees. |
Living with | Living with |
parents is really frustrating. I love them, they help me a lot, but I feel | parents is really frustrating. I love them, they help me a lot, but I feel |
inadequate and discouraged. I work so hard but I can't get my independence, I | inadequate and discouraged. I work so hard but I can't get my independence, I |
can't live with my fiancé and form my own family. | can't live with my fiancé and form my own family. |
Nicole Amiri Fältlöv, 24 | Nicole Amiri Fältlöv, 24 |
I've studied in Rome, | I've studied in Rome, |
Stockholm, and Poland, but I always came back to Malmö. After I came | Stockholm, and Poland, but I always came back to Malmö. After I came |
back from Poland two years ago, I started to work as a freelance | back from Poland two years ago, I started to work as a freelance |
journalist and applied for a journalism degree. But I didn't make enough | journalist and applied for a journalism degree. But I didn't make enough |
money, so I decided to stay in my father's house. He said, "you can stay here as long as you want. You don't have to | money, so I decided to stay in my father's house. He said, "you can stay here as long as you want. You don't have to |
pay any rent. You don't have to pay for food", so right now I'm saving a lot of money. | pay any rent. You don't have to pay for food", so right now I'm saving a lot of money. |
My father is Persian. He is the one who cooks: no carbs, only super healthy foods. | My father is Persian. He is the one who cooks: no carbs, only super healthy foods. |
Sometimes he cooks Persian food. He does a vegetarian Ghorme Sabzi which | Sometimes he cooks Persian food. He does a vegetarian Ghorme Sabzi which |
is very good. We usually eat together, and talk about | is very good. We usually eat together, and talk about |
different things including football, what's going on with our lives and about his | different things including football, what's going on with our lives and about his |
job as a nurse in Lund. | job as a nurse in Lund. |
I can do anything I want. I have had many parties. If I | I can do anything I want. I have had many parties. If I |
see my boyfriend, I usually go to him, but it's not forbidden for me to | see my boyfriend, I usually go to him, but it's not forbidden for me to |
bring him home.The only problem is that it doesn't feel like it's really my home. I | bring him home.The only problem is that it doesn't feel like it's really my home. I |
would like to change everything and throw out a lot of old things, but | would like to change everything and throw out a lot of old things, but |
it's not my decision. | it's not my decision. |
If I took out a student loan I could afford to rent a | If I took out a student loan I could afford to rent a |
flat by myself, but I want to live in Stockholm. It's so expensive in Stockholm and there are such long rent queues. They are building and building, but it's not enough. If I rented out a flat | flat by myself, but I want to live in Stockholm. It's so expensive in Stockholm and there are such long rent queues. They are building and building, but it's not enough. If I rented out a flat |
here and moved all my stuff that would be a signal that I was going to stay | here and moved all my stuff that would be a signal that I was going to stay |
in Malmö for a long time. | in Malmö for a long time. |
When I tell people that I live with my | When I tell people that I live with my |
Dad, everybody says, "that's so cool." It's only my sister who says it's | Dad, everybody says, "that's so cool." It's only my sister who says it's |
time for me to move out. She thinks I'm lazy and spoiled. I'm the only one in my class who lives with their parents. It's | time for me to move out. She thinks I'm lazy and spoiled. I'm the only one in my class who lives with their parents. It's |
not as usual here in Sweden as it is in Italy or Spain. Here in Sweden | not as usual here in Sweden as it is in Italy or Spain. Here in Sweden |
you have to be independent very fast. It's the social norm. The unemployment rate for young people is so high here in Malmö. I | you have to be independent very fast. It's the social norm. The unemployment rate for young people is so high here in Malmö. I |
think that that's why many young couples live together. I see that as a | think that that's why many young couples live together. I see that as a |
huge trend now. | huge trend now. |
When I finish my degree next year, I want to move to Stockholm | When I finish my degree next year, I want to move to Stockholm |
because I think that you have a better chance of finding a job as a | because I think that you have a better chance of finding a job as a |
journalist there. I'm going to search for a sublet, and then I will ask all my friends. | journalist there. I'm going to search for a sublet, and then I will ask all my friends. |
It has been my dream to be a journalist since I | It has been my dream to be a journalist since I |
was 12. I love to write, and I also love football, so I started to | was 12. I love to write, and I also love football, so I started to |
combine those two passions. When I was 19, I started to write for a | combine those two passions. When I was 19, I started to write for a |
football website, and then it just continued, and now I can't think of | football website, and then it just continued, and now I can't think of |
anything else apart from working as a football journalist. I | anything else apart from working as a football journalist. I |
think I will be grateful and happy that I stayed with my Dad for as | think I will be grateful and happy that I stayed with my Dad for as |
long as I lived in Malmö, because I know I will not stay here for long. | long as I lived in Malmö, because I know I will not stay here for long. |
Tom Westcott, 23, Gomshall, Surrey, UK | Tom Westcott, 23, Gomshall, Surrey, UK |
I would love to move out, I would love my own space, I feel that I have freedom but just that my parents are watching every move. I aim to be out within the next two years, but if it takes longer then it takes longer. | I would love to move out, I would love my own space, I feel that I have freedom but just that my parents are watching every move. I aim to be out within the next two years, but if it takes longer then it takes longer. |
When I chose not to go to university my dad's first reaction was that I was going to be sponging off them financially and be reliant on their support. I have made sure this has not been the case since day one. On call as a firefighter, I have to go to the station within four minutes, meaning some evenings I will create a mess and then disappear, or they will be woken by my pager followed by the chaos of me rushing out. I need to live within a few miles of a station. It just so happens that all the stations are in affluent areas, making it difficult for a young single person to get on the property ladder. I am saving for my deposit to buy rather than rent, but I am reminded often how it is dad's house. | When I chose not to go to university my dad's first reaction was that I was going to be sponging off them financially and be reliant on their support. I have made sure this has not been the case since day one. On call as a firefighter, I have to go to the station within four minutes, meaning some evenings I will create a mess and then disappear, or they will be woken by my pager followed by the chaos of me rushing out. I need to live within a few miles of a station. It just so happens that all the stations are in affluent areas, making it difficult for a young single person to get on the property ladder. I am saving for my deposit to buy rather than rent, but I am reminded often how it is dad's house. |
I am fortunate enough to live in a stunning area with a nice garden. My parents are both working. Since I haven't yet moved out they probably want rid of me and their own space. | I am fortunate enough to live in a stunning area with a nice garden. My parents are both working. Since I haven't yet moved out they probably want rid of me and their own space. |
On my social life, I have ground rules. Although they say I am welcome to have friends around, I try not to. After all it is their house and their space. No friends upstairs. I tend to try and get out of the house to give them their space. | On my social life, I have ground rules. Although they say I am welcome to have friends around, I try not to. After all it is their house and their space. No friends upstairs. I tend to try and get out of the house to give them their space. |
I am fortunate I don't have too many chores. Perhaps I do take them for granted a bit, mum is fantastic. I help with dogs and loading the dishwasher. | I am fortunate I don't have too many chores. Perhaps I do take them for granted a bit, mum is fantastic. I help with dogs and loading the dishwasher. |
The situation in this country is difficult. I chose not to go to university as I felt there was no course for what I wanted to do. Because of the from parents and the constant reminder of no work, I worked as hard as I could to get the income to save for a deposit for my first place. It's difficult to say there is one thing that needs to be done - we need affordable housing and support for young people. I am fortunate enough to have a job so I am getting closer to the day where I can own my own place. This day hasn't come yet. | The situation in this country is difficult. I chose not to go to university as I felt there was no course for what I wanted to do. Because of the from parents and the constant reminder of no work, I worked as hard as I could to get the income to save for a deposit for my first place. It's difficult to say there is one thing that needs to be done - we need affordable housing and support for young people. I am fortunate enough to have a job so I am getting closer to the day where I can own my own place. This day hasn't come yet. |
Are you living at home with your parents? Share your experiences and thoughts in the thread below |