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You can find the current article at its original source at http://www.theguardian.com/world/2014/mar/25/id-love-to-have-my-own-place-young-europeans-on-the-struggle-to-fly-the-nest
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| 'I'd love to have my own place': young Europeans on the struggle to fly the nest | 'I'd love to have my own place': young Europeans on the struggle to fly the nest |
| (5 months later) | |
| Maria Farrel, 28, Kells, Dublin | Maria Farrel, 28, Kells, Dublin |
| I wanted to go back to university as a mature student to study teaching and the only way I could afford to do it was to move back home. The everyday is fine as I get on well with my parents. We both understand it's not a long term thing, it's just until I finish university. I think they're happy that they are able to help me achieve my dreams of becoming a teacher. They wouldn't be able to afford the €1000 or more it would cost for myself and my sister to rent near university, and I wouldn't ask them to pay it either, but this way they contribute in a huge way to my education. I know my mother didn't like the house being empty when I was living away as they bought dogs! | |
| I don't pay rent but I contribute by buying groceries or heating oil for example. I don't really have rules or chores. I guess it's like living with any housemates, where I clean up after myself and try to be quiet when I get in late or leave early. And it hasn't really had any impact on my social life. Although I do miss having people over for dinner and too many bottles of wine. That's hard to do when your Mum might pop in to put on the kettle at any given moment! | |
| The benefits are mainly financial, although it's nice to have my parents around. My dad always has great practical advice and nobody can comfort you after a bad day quite like your mum can. The worst thing is the guilt I feel when a package from Asos.com arrives and my mum says "shopping again were we?!" The worst thing is other people's reactions with them pitying me because it must be awful for me or acting like I'm a failure somehow. I tell them I'm living at home by choice and I'm lucky my parents are so supportive. | |
| I don't find out until I've finished university. I think I'd be too stressed financially. As soon as I'm qualified and working again, I will definitely move out. | |
| I think, even though they've lowered since the beginning of the recession, property prices and rent prices are still too high. Too many young people are left relying on their parents for deposits for houses. The government offers rental assistance for people on social welfare but does very little for students. In Dublin, on campus accommodation is extortionate at €4500 per year. No young person can afford that kind of rental outgoing along with paying fees and the cost of living. I think more should be done to help young people attend college. | |
| Gaia Paradiso, 26, Piacenza, Italy | Gaia Paradiso, 26, Piacenza, Italy |
| When I was 17 my dad said to 'go and explore the world and find your way.' Now I'm back in Piacenza, the provincial city where I was born, and I'm living with them again. | |
| The advantages of living with your parents are the love and affection they give you. And also the fact that everything is ready for you: I like cooking, for example, but they help me. Both my parents work, but my mum takes care of the house as well. | |
| So when you wake up, you have your cappuccino; then you start working and you apply for jobs. You don't have to worry about the management of the house, which is nice. | |
| But the problem is you don't feel empowered. And I think for us, for young people, it's really important to have the power to control your life and say: "I can do this. I can have a job but I can manage my private life as well." | |
| You need to be able to learn to do all these things, because at the end of the day you would like to build a family. It's not my priority at the moment, but it would be nice to be prepared. | |
| I came back to Piacenza at the end of January, after a six-months stint working in Brussels. | I came back to Piacenza at the end of January, after a six-months stint working in Brussels. |
| Before that I had been studying for a masters in international relations and political science in Florence, and before that I spent a wonderful year in Brazil working for the United Nations Development Programme. | |
| By that point, I already had one masters- in international management- and my original degree, from the university here in Piacenza, in economics and business management, which involved spending two years in Boston, in the United States. | |
| I speak five languages: English, French, Spanish and Portuguese, plus Italian, my mother tongue. But I feel if I want to work internationally I need to speak more, like Chinese or Arabic. | |
| Sometimes, it feels like it's never enough, like I cannot really find my place in this world. | |
| I have different volunteer activities, I am writing opinion pieces for the local newspaper about the European elections in May, and am helping my old university establish an alumni network for the economics faculty. I am also helping to coordinate the official Italian youth delegation to the G8. | |
| But my main focus is looking for a real job. When I came back here, I said to myself: "I am not going to spend lot of money. I am going to stay at home, I will cook at home and hopefully something will come up." | |
| By now I have applied for so many jobs as well as internships, again, in Italy as well as in Brussels and in London, where my brother is studying. I send my CV and I keep calling to check if they received the application, if we can have a Skype talk, or an interview at some point. | |
| I don't give up. Because if I give up, it's not going to happen. I need to make it work. | I don't give up. Because if I give up, it's not going to happen. I need to make it work. |
| I think our generation is suffering a lot from this. Because if you don't have a job, you don't have a family, you cannot really lead your own life. If you have a job, then everything follows. I don't want to be rich, but I would like to have enough to continue my life and build something. | |
| Daniel de Reybekill, 22, Birmingham, UK | Daniel de Reybekill, 22, Birmingham, UK |
| I live with my parents in a three bedroom house which my mum and step dad have had for over a decade. My mum is in her mid-forties and my step dad who is in his mid-fifties works from home. I have one sister who is 23, a second year arts student who lives between home and her boyfriend's house across the street. Both her and I pay rent. | |
| When I graduated I hoped to find stable work, save up and travel like many young people nowadays. Unfortunately the part time summer job I had didn't want to retrain me, while the music reviewing and blogs I was passionate about, just wasn't paying. I ended up spending six months looking for work unsuccessfully. After Christmas I finally signed on to Job Seekers Allowance. Many people complained about the paperwork, the hassle and the others on Job Seekers, but I actually found them very helpful. During my time in their hands, I was motivated to look in more appropriate areas, helped with my CV, and although the bar and waiting job I started recently was not found directly through their Universal Job Match website, I doubt I would have found it without their help. I spent three months on Job Seekers Allowance where the £40 a week rent I would have paid was waved by my parents. Now I am paying it again but now it's my own well earned money. | |
| Mum knows being back home makes sense but she is anxious for me and is aware that it's important for both my sister and I to spread our wings. As a parent with low income, she finds it tough financially, but she is always going to help us where she can. Typical day involves a list of a few normal house keeping jobs; some shopping that might need doing, cleaning the fire out and so on. I do miss inviting friends around. It's had a big impact on my almost non-existent social life now, apart from a drink in town with a couple of friends every other week I sometimes feel like I rattle around the house. Building a structured day or week, and sticking to it is a huge help in stopping yourself getting bored stiff and becoming a couch potato. I enjoy cooking, cycling and writing which I fit in between part time work. I spent a couple of months really struggling mentally, before I was able to build up confidence and start feeling happy again. I read somewhere that people who end up as long term unemployed, the risks of mental instability increase rather worryingly. | |
| I would love to move out. If I could move out tomorrow I would in an instant. But I don't have the money or the job security to be able to make a financial commitment of that size. Zero hour contracts may do wonders for the figures but it does nothing for the thousands like me who are stuck at home, or at the very bottom of the property ladder. There needs to be a change in the way jobs are freed up higher up the system, instead of just at entry level. Whether it's related to the retirement age I couldn't comment, but there are more people working, and for longer than ever before. | |
| Elisa, 31 | Elisa, 31 |
| I live in a duplex house with my parents. I'm living with my parents because I have no choice. I have a low salary, and I don't have the possibility to get a mortgage. My fiancé is working, but the company he works in is close to bankruptcy. We can't buy a house, and we can't even rent one: we don't have enough guarantees. | |
| Living with parents is really frustrating. I love them, they help me a lot, but I feel inadequate and discouraged. I work so hard but I can't get my independence, I can't live with my fiancé and form my own family. | |
| Nicole Amiri Fältlöv, 24 | Nicole Amiri Fältlöv, 24 |
| I've studied in Rome, Stockholm, and Poland, but I always came back to Malmö. After I came back from Poland two years ago, I started to work as a freelance journalist and applied for a journalism degree. But I didn't make enough money, so I decided to stay in my father's house. He said, "you can stay here as long as you want. You don't have to pay any rent. You don't have to pay for food", so right now I'm saving a lot of money. | |
| My father is Persian. He is the one who cooks: no carbs, only super healthy foods. Sometimes he cooks Persian food. He does a vegetarian Ghorme Sabzi which is very good. We usually eat together, and talk about different things including football, what's going on with our lives and about his job as a nurse in Lund. | |
| I can do anything I want. I have had many parties. If I see my boyfriend, I usually go to him, but it's not forbidden for me to bring him home.The only problem is that it doesn't feel like it's really my home. I would like to change everything and throw out a lot of old things, but it's not my decision. | |
| If I took out a student loan I could afford to rent a flat by myself, but I want to live in Stockholm. It's so expensive in Stockholm and there are such long rent queues. They are building and building, but it's not enough. If I rented out a flat here and moved all my stuff that would be a signal that I was going to stay in Malmö for a long time. | |
| When I tell people that I live with my Dad, everybody says, "that's so cool." It's only my sister who says it's time for me to move out. She thinks I'm lazy and spoiled. I'm the only one in my class who lives with their parents. It's not as usual here in Sweden as it is in Italy or Spain. Here in Sweden you have to be independent very fast. It's the social norm. The unemployment rate for young people is so high here in Malmö. I think that that's why many young couples live together. I see that as a huge trend now. | |
| When I finish my degree next year, I want to move to Stockholm because I think that you have a better chance of finding a job as a journalist there. I'm going to search for a sublet, and then I will ask all my friends. | |
| It has been my dream to be a journalist since I was 12. I love to write, and I also love football, so I started to combine those two passions. When I was 19, I started to write for a football website, and then it just continued, and now I can't think of anything else apart from working as a football journalist. I think I will be grateful and happy that I stayed with my Dad for as long as I lived in Malmö, because I know I will not stay here for long. | |
| Tom Westcott, 23, Gomshall, Surrey, UK | Tom Westcott, 23, Gomshall, Surrey, UK |
| I would love to move out, I would love my own space, I feel that I have freedom but just that my parents are watching every move. I aim to be out within the next two years, but if it takes longer then it takes longer. | I would love to move out, I would love my own space, I feel that I have freedom but just that my parents are watching every move. I aim to be out within the next two years, but if it takes longer then it takes longer. |
| When I chose not to go to university my dad's first reaction was that I was going to be sponging off them financially and be reliant on their support. I have made sure this has not been the case since day one. On call as a firefighter, I have to go to the station within four minutes, meaning some evenings I will create a mess and then disappear, or they will be woken by my pager followed by the chaos of me rushing out. I need to live within a few miles of a station. It just so happens that all the stations are in affluent areas, making it difficult for a young single person to get on the property ladder. I am saving for my deposit to buy rather than rent, but I am reminded often how it is dad's house. | When I chose not to go to university my dad's first reaction was that I was going to be sponging off them financially and be reliant on their support. I have made sure this has not been the case since day one. On call as a firefighter, I have to go to the station within four minutes, meaning some evenings I will create a mess and then disappear, or they will be woken by my pager followed by the chaos of me rushing out. I need to live within a few miles of a station. It just so happens that all the stations are in affluent areas, making it difficult for a young single person to get on the property ladder. I am saving for my deposit to buy rather than rent, but I am reminded often how it is dad's house. |
| I am fortunate enough to live in a stunning area with a nice garden. My parents are both working. Since I haven't yet moved out they probably want rid of me and their own space. | I am fortunate enough to live in a stunning area with a nice garden. My parents are both working. Since I haven't yet moved out they probably want rid of me and their own space. |
| On my social life, I have ground rules. Although they say I am welcome to have friends around, I try not to. After all it is their house and their space. No friends upstairs. I tend to try and get out of the house to give them their space. | On my social life, I have ground rules. Although they say I am welcome to have friends around, I try not to. After all it is their house and their space. No friends upstairs. I tend to try and get out of the house to give them their space. |
| I am fortunate I don't have too many chores. Perhaps I do take them for granted a bit, mum is fantastic. I help with dogs and loading the dishwasher. | I am fortunate I don't have too many chores. Perhaps I do take them for granted a bit, mum is fantastic. I help with dogs and loading the dishwasher. |
| The situation in this country is difficult. I chose not to go to university as I felt there was no course for what I wanted to do. Because of the from parents and the constant reminder of no work, I worked as hard as I could to get the income to save for a deposit for my first place. It's difficult to say there is one thing that needs to be done - we need affordable housing and support for young people. I am fortunate enough to have a job so I am getting closer to the day where I can own my own place. This day hasn't come yet. | The situation in this country is difficult. I chose not to go to university as I felt there was no course for what I wanted to do. Because of the from parents and the constant reminder of no work, I worked as hard as I could to get the income to save for a deposit for my first place. It's difficult to say there is one thing that needs to be done - we need affordable housing and support for young people. I am fortunate enough to have a job so I am getting closer to the day where I can own my own place. This day hasn't come yet. |
| Are you living at home with your parents? Share your experiences and thoughts in the thread below | Are you living at home with your parents? Share your experiences and thoughts in the thread below |