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| David Cameron's final PMQs: The outgoing Prime Minister's best jokes | David Cameron's final PMQs: The outgoing Prime Minister's best jokes |
| (about 3 hours later) | |
| David Cameron has delivered his final Prime Ministers Questions, joking about his empty schedule and mocking the chaos in the Labour party. | David Cameron has delivered his final Prime Ministers Questions, joking about his empty schedule and mocking the chaos in the Labour party. |
| Britain's soon to be ex-Prime Minister gave a performance many likened to a stand up routine, obviously enjoying his final PMQs. | Britain's soon to be ex-Prime Minister gave a performance many likened to a stand up routine, obviously enjoying his final PMQs. |
| Ulster Unionist MP Danny Kinahan paid tribute to Mr Cameron's "hard work and leadership" and suggested that he might be interested in taking up positions which had become available as manager of the England football team, presenter of BBC One's Top Gear or president of the United States. | Ulster Unionist MP Danny Kinahan paid tribute to Mr Cameron's "hard work and leadership" and suggested that he might be interested in taking up positions which had become available as manager of the England football team, presenter of BBC One's Top Gear or president of the United States. |
| Labour leader Jeremy Corbyn suggested the PM could take up Len Goodman's job on TV's Strictly Come Dancing - though the PM admitted "I don't really have a pasa doble". | Labour leader Jeremy Corbyn suggested the PM could take up Len Goodman's job on TV's Strictly Come Dancing - though the PM admitted "I don't really have a pasa doble". |
| Outlining his engagements for the day, Mr Cameron joked: "Other than one meeting this afternoon with Her Majesty the Queen, the diary for the rest of the day is remarkably light." | Outlining his engagements for the day, Mr Cameron joked: "Other than one meeting this afternoon with Her Majesty the Queen, the diary for the rest of the day is remarkably light." |
| Congratulating Theresa May on becoming leader of the Conservative party, he took a series of pot-shots at the opposition, saying: "When it comes to women Prime Ministers I'm very pleased to be able to say pretty soon it's going to be two-nil. | |
| "And not a pink bus in sight!" | "And not a pink bus in sight!" |
| Mr Cameron also delivered a barrage of jokes about the chaos in the Labour Party, saying: "We've had resignation, nomination, competition and coronation, they haven't even decided what the rules are yet. | Mr Cameron also delivered a barrage of jokes about the chaos in the Labour Party, saying: "We've had resignation, nomination, competition and coronation, they haven't even decided what the rules are yet. |
| "If they ever got into power, it would take them about a year to decide who would sit where." | "If they ever got into power, it would take them about a year to decide who would sit where." |
| After laughing at the joke, Mr Corbyn replied: "Democracy is an exciting and splendid thing and I'm enjoying every moment of it." | After laughing at the joke, Mr Corbyn replied: "Democracy is an exciting and splendid thing and I'm enjoying every moment of it." |
| The Labour leader thanked Mr Cameron's mother for her advice on suits and ties, to which the Tory leader said: "I will certainly send his good wishes back to my mother. He seems to have taken her advice and is looking absolutely splendid today." | The Labour leader thanked Mr Cameron's mother for her advice on suits and ties, to which the Tory leader said: "I will certainly send his good wishes back to my mother. He seems to have taken her advice and is looking absolutely splendid today." |
| In response to the news that the family are leaving the Downing Street cat behind at Number 10, Mr Cameron assured MPs: "I love Larry, I do, and I have the photographic evidence to prove it. | In response to the news that the family are leaving the Downing Street cat behind at Number 10, Mr Cameron assured MPs: "I love Larry, I do, and I have the photographic evidence to prove it. |
| "Sadly I can't take Larry with me, he belongs to the house and the staff love him very much, as do I." | "Sadly I can't take Larry with me, he belongs to the house and the staff love him very much, as do I." |
| Addressing the House of Commons for the final time as Prime Minister, Mr Cameron said: "I will miss the roar of the crowds, I will miss the barbs from the opposition. | Addressing the House of Commons for the final time as Prime Minister, Mr Cameron said: "I will miss the roar of the crowds, I will miss the barbs from the opposition. |
| "Nothing is really impossible if you put your mind to it. After all, as I once said, I was the future once." | "Nothing is really impossible if you put your mind to it. After all, as I once said, I was the future once." |