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| David Cameron's final PMQs: The outgoing Prime Minister's best jokes | David Cameron's final PMQs: The outgoing Prime Minister's best jokes |
| (about 13 hours later) | |
| David Cameron has delivered his final Prime Ministers Questions, joking about his empty schedule and mocking the chaos in the Labour party. | David Cameron has delivered his final Prime Ministers Questions, joking about his empty schedule and mocking the chaos in the Labour party. |
| Britain's former Prime Minister gave a performance many likened to a stand up routine and obviously enjoyed his final PMQs. | Britain's former Prime Minister gave a performance many likened to a stand up routine and obviously enjoyed his final PMQs. |
| These are some of Mr Cameron's best gags of the day. | These are some of Mr Cameron's best gags of the day. |
| On his schedule for the rest of the afternoon: "Other than one meeting this afternoon with Her Majesty the Queen, the diary for the rest of the day is remarkably light." | On his schedule for the rest of the afternoon: "Other than one meeting this afternoon with Her Majesty the Queen, the diary for the rest of the day is remarkably light." |
| On female Conservative leaders: "When it comes to women Prime Ministers I'm very pleased to be able to say pretty soon it's going to be two-nil...And not a pink bus in sight!" | On female Conservative leaders: "When it comes to women Prime Ministers I'm very pleased to be able to say pretty soon it's going to be two-nil...And not a pink bus in sight!" |
| On the Labour Party: "We've had resignation, nomination, competition and coronation, they haven't even decided what the rules are yet...If they ever got into power, it would take them about a year to decide who would sit where." | On the Labour Party: "We've had resignation, nomination, competition and coronation, they haven't even decided what the rules are yet...If they ever got into power, it would take them about a year to decide who would sit where." |
| On Jeremy Corbyn: "He’s reminding me of the black knight in Monty Python and the Holy Grail! He’s been kicked so many times but he keeps saying keep going, it’s only a flesh wound!" | On Jeremy Corbyn: "He’s reminding me of the black knight in Monty Python and the Holy Grail! He’s been kicked so many times but he keeps saying keep going, it’s only a flesh wound!" |
| On the advice his mother gave to Mr Corbyn: "He seems to have taken her advice and is looking absolutely splendid today." | On the advice his mother gave to Mr Corbyn: "He seems to have taken her advice and is looking absolutely splendid today." |
| On meeting former Mayor of New York, Michael Bloomberg, who said to him: [American accent] “Cameron, prime minister’s questions, we love your show!” | On meeting former Mayor of New York, Michael Bloomberg, who said to him: [American accent] “Cameron, prime minister’s questions, we love your show!” |
| On Ken Clarke: “Not many people know this, but his first act as Chancellor of the Exchequer was to fire me as a special adviser,” | On Ken Clarke: “Not many people know this, but his first act as Chancellor of the Exchequer was to fire me as a special adviser,” |
| In response to the news that the family are leaving the Downing Street cat behind at Number 10: "I love Larry, I do, and I have the photographic evidence to prove it...Sadly I can't take Larry with me, he belongs to the house and the staff love him very much, as do I." | In response to the news that the family are leaving the Downing Street cat behind at Number 10: "I love Larry, I do, and I have the photographic evidence to prove it...Sadly I can't take Larry with me, he belongs to the house and the staff love him very much, as do I." |